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Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....

lipglossjunky73 Posted:

Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....

Angelo emailed me this the other day - I thought now would be a good time to share it - its long, but worth it!

Thoughtful Conclusions:
Deciding Whether To Marry
Though we may make many commitments throughout our time on earth, few have a lifelong impact on the path our lives will take. The decision to marry someone you love-to bond yourself to them completely-is unlike any other and can reshape your existence. When two people have similar goals, values, and needs, marriage can result in a lifetime partnership of love and respect, shared laughter and tears, friendship, and intimacy that is ultimately fulfilling. Love is often cited as the sole prerequisite of a strong and stable married life. However, the decision to get married should be made with the mind and the soul as well as with the heart. Carefully considering whether you truly want to get married, both individually and as a couple, can ensure that if you do choose to marry, your relationship can grow to unimaginable depths.

The decision-making process you employ to determine whether you should marry should be a thoughtful and honest one in which you appraise not only your partner but also yourself. Consider that love and attraction do not guarantee long-term compatibility. If your relationship is not secure, marriage will not make it so. Likewise, if your partner is not as attentive, loving, or kind as you would like, your becoming spouses will not change that. Marriage has no power to permanently fill any emotional or spiritual gaps in your life. Before you choose to marry, ask yourself whether you and your partner are adept at resolving conflict, can speak openly to one another, and fully respect one another. Your attitudes regarding the nature of marital commitment, children and child rearing, and marital roles may be the same or they may differ. It is your shared responsibility to discuss your similarities and come to agreements regarding your differences that will predict how successful your future marriage will be. Often times, younger couples rush into marriage just for the wedding dress, the ring, the party, and honeymoon. Would you still be willing to be married if you couldn't have these things?

Remember that planning a wedding is simple when compared to the intricacies of nurturing a marriage. The honeymoon and nesting period will eventually wear off, and what you are left with is a partner for life. When you work together with your partner, reassure and support one another, and are honest about your feelings regarding marriage, you'll come to the right decision.

CLMon7906 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....

very sound advice liza...thanks angelo.


MrsMagoo Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....

OMG!!! My aunt just emailed that to me this morning!! I think it's great advice

olivia30 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....



So needed for brides to be
waterspout4 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....

So true!! Growing up I was taught to be concerned with my marriage and not the wedding.

nala3378 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....

great advice

StreetDoc6531 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....

That was powerful and so needed on this site. Thanks for sharing!!!
sr081906 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....

Great article!

gigles319 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....

great advice !!

lipglossjunky73 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....

Thanks ladies!

When I read it I thought of sadbridetobe, and also thought - she may not be the only one feeling this way - just the only one brave enough to voice her concerns and see life beyond the wedding!

lipglossjunky73 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....

Bumping for afternoon crew
MnM52607 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....

I love this. Marriage is definitely something to think about. I think today, people get married for the fanatasy that marriage is going to be perfect. And if not, then we can always get divorced and try again.

I think Marriage should be for life so make decisions wisely.

JMO
Mooshyboo Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....

That is GREAT ~ I LOVE IT! Someone once told me ~ Just remember after the big party (wedding day) this is the person you will have to spend every day and night with... and if you can't picture spending all this time with this person that person is not for you!
lipglossjunky73 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....


Posted by Mooshyboo

That is GREAT ~ I LOVE IT! Someone once told me ~ Just remember after the big party (wedding day) this is the person you will have to spend every day and night with... and if you can't picture spending all this time with this person that person is not for you!



I remember after the wedding thinking -wow - how insignificant that whole party was! I couldnt believe there were people who literally live their whole life for just one day - not even - for a few hours of their life!

I thought - wow - if I wasn't SO happy being married to Angelo, I would feel a little down that it all went so quickly and just like that - poof - your life is back to normal!

CLMon7906 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....


Posted by lipglossjunky73


Posted by Mooshyboo

That is GREAT ~ I LOVE IT! Someone once told me ~ Just remember after the big party (wedding day) this is the person you will have to spend every day and night with... and if you can't picture spending all this time with this person that person is not for you!



I remember after the wedding thinking -wow - how insignificant that whole party was! I couldnt believe there were people who literally live their whole life for just one day - not even - for a few hours of their life!

I thought - wow - if I wasn't SO happy being married to Angelo, I would feel a little down that it all went so quickly and just like that - poof - your life is back to normal!




normal??? what is this normal you speak of?

I agree though...if it weren't for enjoying Victor's company in my life, I would be terribly hurt that after all that work and planning, it ended in 6 hours.
lipglossjunky73 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....


Posted by CLMon7906


Posted by lipglossjunky73


Posted by Mooshyboo

That is GREAT ~ I LOVE IT! Someone once told me ~ Just remember after the big party (wedding day) this is the person you will have to spend every day and night with... and if you can't picture spending all this time with this person that person is not for you!



I remember after the wedding thinking -wow - how insignificant that whole party was! I couldnt believe there were people who literally live their whole life for just one day - not even - for a few hours of their life!

I thought - wow - if I wasn't SO happy being married to Angelo, I would feel a little down that it all went so quickly and just like that - poof - your life is back to normal!




normal??? what is this normal you speak of?

I agree though...if it weren't for enjoying Victor's company in my life, I would be terribly hurt that after all that work and planning, it ended in 6 hours.



I mean normal like getting knocked up on my couch 3 seconds after the wedding....
CLMon7906 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....


Posted by lipglossjunky73


Posted by CLMon7906

normal??? what is this normal you speak of?

I agree though...if it weren't for enjoying Victor's company in my life, I would be terribly hurt that after all that work and planning, it ended in 6 hours.



I mean normal like getting knocked up on my couch 3 seconds after the wedding....



HEY LIZA....it's not getting knocked up if you're married. That's called a culmination of your love.
EGreene79 Posted:

Re: Deciding Whether to marry.... Long - but excellent - especially if you are ever plagued with doubts....


Posted by lipglossjunky73

I thought - wow - if I wasn't SO happy being married to Angelo, I would feel a little down that it all went so quickly and just like that - poof - your life is back to normal!




I have a friend who just went through this! She said after the reception she cried for hours because it was all over, and she didn't have anything to look forward to. I kept thinking - what about your live with this man you just married?! It's scary how wrapped up people get.

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