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Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

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Posted by nafnyc

hey girl
dont worry and dont cry!
if it makes you feel better, im living in the apartment above my parents until we save enough money.

its not easy to buy a house!!!!!!

maybe hes just stressed out

xoxo

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ITA with this! maybe he's just hurt that you won't be living in his basement? i knwo that's how my parents would be!

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

That is really horrible to say. If it is a seperate apartment it is like living my yourselves. You dad probably just thinks that the man should take care of his wife.

I'm on the fence about telling FH just because I would not want him to look at dad is a bad light (that is not good)

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. Has he ever brought out any concerns in the past about you and FH's marriage? My only guess is that maybe he's just sad in general that you're leaving the home (as most parents are), and his emotions are getting to him. I wouldn't say anything to your FH, only because you don't yet know the intentions of what your dad said meant, and you don't want to cause issues in their relationship from now in case he didn't really mean it as he said it.

Are you able to talk to your dad one on one about it and get a better idea of why he said what he did?

Big hugs coming your way - I can just imagine how hurt you are.

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

Sorry you're having to endure this. Maybe dad is just dealing with his daughter leaving the nest and didn't know a better way to say it. My dear friend's fiancee lived in their basement apt for 2 years before they married and paid rent. The two of them lived in it for a year or so post wedding and paid the same little rent. When they found a house her parents gave them back all the rent they paid to help buy it. They ended up buying a house one block over where their backyards face each other.

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

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Posted by nafnyc

hey girl
dont worry and dont cry!
if it makes you feel better, im living in the apartment above my parents until we save enough money.

its not easy to buy a house!!!!!!

maybe hes just stressed out

xoxo

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ITA!! And through this process I've learned that parents sometimes say hurtful things bc they are having a hard time coping with their child growing up. You should tell your father that your sorry he feels that way but you would never let a bad living situation come between you and fh, that's why you're choosing to take a cheaper route now so you can afford the house of your dreams in the future.

Also, I wouldn't tell fh what he said. I know it's hard, but my fmil says a lot of hurtful things to fh and he tells me EVERYTHING. As much as I appreciate his honesty, sometimes I wish he would stop telling me things bc it makes me really dislike his mom.

I hope everything works out hun

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

I know where you're coming from, we first lived in his parents basement when we were dating, had our own apartment last yr and now...we're back in my parents house saving money for our wedding/house. I would say he may be hurt that you're moving out but what'd he think was gonna happen when you got engaged? lol Like the other girls said though may be he wanted a lil but more for you (nothing is ever good enough for a daughter). He'll come around though, I would try talking to him in a day or two when things settle down and ask him why he said that and explain both ur sides without arguing. Esp if you guys are engaged, what does he expect you to do?

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

we are moving into my parents apartment, so that being said, of course they are thrilled to keep me close, however, there are times when FMIL gets jealous and says little things like this, just brush it off, even in happy times, our parents dont want to let go of us.

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

dont let it get to you..he's probally so overwhelmed at the fact you are getting married and moving out..it will all fall in place ...and by the way my cuz is getting married in july and her and her fiance moved back in my aunts house too to save .. they are living the good life rent free lol!!! AGAIN THESE THINGS WILL WORK OUT

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

p.s artie sounds like a really smart guy...you will have your house in no time...lift your head up and enjoy these moments silly billy!!

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

I think he is probably stressed, sad that his little girl is getting married and moving out, and is concerned for you, and it just came out wrong. Don't stress about it - I think weddings often just make people act weirdly.

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

Sorry you have to go through this.

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

my sister and her now husband lived in his parents' basement for like 1 yr 'til they saved money to buy a house, 16 yrs later....and they're still married so please don't let negative comments dictate ur destiny girly

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

He's just concerned about you and dads can be dumb about that sometimes You're an adult though, you do what you need to do and he should trust you that he raised you to make goo decisions for yourself.

Re: I cant believe my dad just said....

Im so sorry Was your Dad the same one that said something to the DJ too? If so Im wondering if maybe he is having a tough time coping with the fact that you are getting married and starting your own life? Im trying to think of why he would start to say things that are upsetting you If you need anything we are here love!