Without going into alot of specifics - a BM is NOW having issues with her dress & brought up issues regarding the wedding, ie photos BEFORE. I dont want to be 'tip toeing'a round her on my wedding day & yet I want her to be there. This really really has me extremely upset.
I have made a decision what i want to do & want to see you ladies opinion. TIA
CubanBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
Well, LP, without knowing the specifics, it's hard to say.
How about letting her know that you don'tappreciate whatever it is she is doing. Tell her that it's making you very uncomfortable and ask her if she really wants to be in the wedding. If so, let her know what you would like from her.
Mrs_B
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
it really depends on your relationship with her. what issue is going on with the dress? and the pics?? whats her problem with the pics? i dont understand people sometimes. ITS YOUR DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bluesashbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
after talking with her (in person if possible) if its better between you two and she seems to calm down about the dress and stuff than i would keep her, if not bring up the idea right there that she may not need to be that involved, ie a BM. oh, and side note, if this BM is family, i wouldn't think booting her is an option. that's a VERY different relationship in my mind. and just be ready to lose her friendship if you do ask her to step down.
chachou22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
like Cubanbride said its hard to judge without knowing the specifics have a talk with her and see what her reactions are and base your decision on that
marc_rai
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
Posted by chachou22
like Cubanbride said its hard to judge without knowing the specifics have a talk with her and see what her reactions are and base your decision on that
Ditto, But I agree that if it's a family member you should try your best to keep her in the bridal party.
eogara
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
It is kind of difficult to formulate an opinion based on such vague info but, with just over a month to go and her dress already paid for, I'd just keep her in it. But, I would sit her down and explain to her that she agreed to be part of your wedding. On her day, she can do whatever she wants about pictures, dresses, etc but this is your day and you do not want her negativity ruining it for you. If she can't handle that, she can make her own decision to 'step down'.
Bunnymonkey
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
Have you sat her down and had a serious talk about it? It really depends on more details...
I know I would have a REALLY hard time telling someone to go, but if they were going to seriously compromise how my day was going, they might have to.
That's so tough - hang in there!
Borricuamorena0905
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
Accepting to be in your wedding means that you have to be apart of everything that deals with the wedding... She can NOT be in the bridal party and NOT show up or be in the PHOTOS ..
I say delete!!!!!!!!!! no time for bullshyt!
This is the way it is, accept it or reject it! Theres' no it's, no ands, no buts or supposes!!!!!!! Point black!
Good luck and I hope all works out so that u don't have to make a descision like that! Keep us posted!
rugs88
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
Posted by marc_rai
Posted by chachou22
like Cubanbride said its hard to judge without knowing the specifics have a talk with her and see what her reactions are and base your decision on that
Ditto, But I agree that if it's a family member you should try your best to keep her in the bridal party.
I agree, asking someone not to be BM can create a lot of tension-it might make things worse...try to talk it out...remember, use 'I' language so she doesn't get defensive ('I' feel this...'I' am worried about this...)
jpavig
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
Posted by chachou22
like Cubanbride said its hard to judge without knowing the specifics have a talk with her and see what her reactions are and base your decision on that
I agree.
akaMrsT
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
Posted by LadyPrincess
Without going into alot of specifics - a BM is NOW having issues with her dress & brought up issues regarding the wedding, ie photos BEFORE. I dont want to be 'tip toeing'a round her on my wedding day & yet I want her to be there. This really really has me extremely upset.
I have made a decision what i want to do & want to see you ladies opinion. TIA
Not sure why she has an issue with her dress at such a late date or with taking photos BEFORE the ceremony since that is your choice? I'm sure there are other issues and the photos are just one dilemma.
If she is stressing you, I'd find someone who can fit her dress and replace her or go on without her. It's too late for this drama right now. Too much time and money have been spent planning for her attendance.
Dama88
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
Hi LP. Sorry to hear your stressing. Your only a blink away from your wedding so of course stress is the last thing you need especially from a bridesmaid. IMO you already know what needs to be done. Do it like your taking Buckleys (yuck) and get it over with. Your in the home stretch and you need to be focused on the prize. Wishing you the best. Keep us posted.
Dooodles
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
I'm curious as to why she is having 'issues' as of now. If you can find a tactful way to tell her, the BP is taking pictures before the ceremony and if she has a problem - then bye bye
takeoutcook
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
I would talk to her about it. She'll probably be very embarrassed that you found out what she said.
Good luck!
LadyPrincess
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
Thanks ladies. I read each comment & factored it into the matter.
I can always count on u all
LadyPrincess
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
TY ladies
azoodie
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
what have you decided chris? that is awful to have issues so close to the wedding...maybe you can have her do something else like a reading my heart goes out to you
LadyPrincess
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
Thxs Az..you have FM
junebride!
Posted:
Member since
Re: Delete or Not ?
I wish you luck, no matter what you choose there's probably going to be some lingering hurt or resentment. I agree I'd tlak to her...and hopefully she'll be able to adjust to what you want for your day...sorry you have to be going through this...
