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HarrymetSally Posted: Jun 07, 2010 05:09 PM

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JTG4EVER Posted: Jun 07, 2010 05:10 PM

Re: I need a backbone

well is her shower first or your b-party?

HarrymetSally Posted: Jun 07, 2010 05:12 PM

Re: I need a backbone

Posted by JTG4EVER

well is her shower first or your b-party?

her shower

mrsq2be Posted: Jun 07, 2010 05:14 PM

Re: I need a backbone

why not just do it anyway? It should be about you! for your shower and b-party anyyway... you should get to do what YOU want to do! I am sorry you have to go through this!

MrsTarricone2B Posted: Jun 07, 2010 05:14 PM

Re: I need a backbone

I'm so sorry, that sux. I think your best bet would be to stop telling her any of your ideas. I know thats hard but just tell us instead, this way she can't steal any of your ideas. And if the two of you happen to have the same idea just stick to your guns. Tell her you already started planning everything and if she has a problem with the two of you having the same theme then maybe she should change hers!

BlushandBashful Posted: Jun 07, 2010 05:15 PM

Re: I need a backbone

I'm sorry you are going through all that. I think the first thing you should do is stop telling your girlfriend your ideas. It kinda sounds like she is trying to steal all of your ideas. Do you think that will help at all?

JuneBride14 Posted: Jun 07, 2010 05:15 PM

Re: I need a backbone

Posted by JTG4EVER

well is her shower first or your b-party?

you already changed your date although you planned first- that is huuuge of you to do. i don't think you need to make any other accomodations. if your b-party is first then keep your idea and go through with it.

and maybe keep your ideas to yourself when talking to this person so she can't take anything else from you

mybabylovesmoi Posted: Jun 07, 2010 05:15 PM

Re: I need a backbone

eww what a brat. I would limit the stuff I tell her so she doesn't have a chance to put her two cents in.

Practice saying no, seriously, it gets easier to stand up for yourself if you start with the little things like saying 'no' to situations where you'd usually just say 'yes' to be nice.

HarrymetSally Posted: Jun 07, 2010 05:18 PM

Re: I need a backbone

I think I do need to stop telling her anything, quite frankly I am at the point of not even wanting to talk to her anymore...I just feel like she is so self centered. It is like her wedding is bigger then everything and everyone (including her groom, but that is a whole other story). It's just so exhausting you know?

rendel Posted: Jun 07, 2010 05:23 PM

Re: I need a backbone

I know exactly how you feel!!!!!!!!!!!!! You really need to put her in her place and do what will make you happy!!!!! Who cares if she is having the same theme for her shower, her wedding isn't the only one in the world!!!!!!!!!

JTG4EVER Posted: Jun 07, 2010 05:28 PM

Re: I need a backbone

Put her in her place and dont tell her stuff anymore.

Moonmist09 Posted: Jun 07, 2010 05:34 PM

Re: I need a backbone

i wouldn't tell her anything anymore. are you close to her? if not, i would sever the friendship. sounds harsh but if she makes you feel like this about everything then its not worth it and the relationship is toxic

HarrymetSally Posted: Jun 07, 2010 05:42 PM

Re: I need a backbone

Posted by Moonmist09

i wouldn't tell her anything anymore. are you close to her? if not, i would sever the friendship. sounds harsh but if she makes you feel like this about everything then its not worth it and the relationship is toxic

unfortunately she is one of my closest friends, but you are right it is a toxic relationship, my FH basically just said the same thing to me.

MissingLI Posted: Jun 07, 2010 05:51 PM

Re: I need a backbone

ITA with the other ladies. Start distancing yourself NOW. No more calling, no more self initiated hanging out. Don't tell her a THING. You will be so much better off for it. I hope she isn't in your bridal party.

Also, do what you want for your b-party. Really, do you want major milestones in your life to be determined by her whims? This is your life to live, live it how you want. Screw the rest.

aquag12283 Posted: Jun 07, 2010 06:12 PM

Re: I need a backbone

I would say who cares you can do the same thing. My friend got married 3 years ago and we did her b-party in AC. My friend that is getting married this summer were doing her b-party in AC and Im doing mine there 2. I don't think you should have to change your thing simply because she is doing it too. If she has a problem with it tell her too bad. This is what Im doing

HarrymetSally Posted: Jun 07, 2010 06:22 PM

Re: I need a backbone

thank you ladies. You guys are the best! I actually feel a lot better. I realized I am letting her make me feel bad- instead I need to say F**k it and do what I want and not let her bring me down...