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That is an awful situation.....I don't know what I would do, but I definitely understand how you're feeling. I do know that when I was a BM in a friend's wedding, and I was still in school not making much money, I saved so I could afford my dress and go to the b-party, etc etc. Being in a bridal party is an honor and a commitment, and I feel it should be a priority.

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Posted by brittndave

i honestly wouldn't do anything. it sounds like the girl is having a really hard time and needs to go out and blow off some steam to stay sane. yea, it sucks that she goes out every week but you can't really compare that to going to your bach party. for all you know she could go out and have a drink or two and be done... maybe she only spends $40 or so every week. bach parties are expensive for people to go to! they usually end up costing everyone well over $100 when you factor in everything (dinner, drinks, transportation, etc. for yourself and then on top of that, the amount split for the bride). tthat's jmo though

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i agree.

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

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Posted by brittndave

i honestly wouldn't do anything. it sounds like the girl is having a really hard time and needs to go out and blow off some steam to stay sane. yea, it sucks that she goes out every week but you can't really compare that to going to your bach party. for all you know she could go out and have a drink or two and be done... maybe she only spends $40 or so every week. bach parties are expensive for people to go to! they usually end up costing everyone well over $100 when you factor in everything (dinner, drinks, transportation, etc. for yourself and then on top of that, the amount split for the bride). tthat's jmo though

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i agree.

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I agree to a point. This girl has obviously had the year from hell and dserves to blow off some steam. But if she skipped the bar for 2 weeks, she might've been able to afford the bach. party! The bar is gonna be there next week, the bach. party is a once in a lifetime thing.

I guess the situation hits home to me- my MOH had a rough year- not as bad as this chick- but car accidents, her father had a brain aneurism, she found out her mother ran up debt under her name, and a few other things, but she never gave us a wedding/shower gift, never purchased a dress for the wedding (I had to give her an old BM dress of mine) and gave the other BMs and my mom a REALLY hard time about the shower. But then she could afford to smoke herself retarded and buy a brand spanking new camera and new lingerie (to impress her dirtbag b/f) for the night of the wedding.

On the one hand, you have to understand that people can't put their life on hold for your wedding but on the other hand, it's a really special time and all you want to do is have her share in it with you!

Sorry, this wasn't much help advice wise, but you're not alone!

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Posted by brittndave

i honestly wouldn't do anything. it sounds like the girl is having a really hard time and needs to go out and blow off some steam to stay sane. yea, it sucks that she goes out every week but you can't really compare that to going to your bach party. for all you know she could go out and have a drink or two and be done... maybe she only spends $40 or so every week. bach parties are expensive for people to go to! they usually end up costing everyone well over $100 when you factor in everything (dinner, drinks, transportation, etc. for yourself and then on top of that, the amount split for the bride). tthat's jmo though

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yup

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Posted by brittndave

just wanted to add... you'll learn that some people know how to be good bridesmaids while others just suck at it! my half sister was one of my bridesmaids and she basically just showed up at the wedding with her dress. she didn't come to my shower, bach party, or even the rd. just forget about it and don't let it bother you - it's really not worth it in the end!

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double yup

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Posted by brittndave

i honestly wouldn't do anything. it sounds like the girl is having a really hard time and needs to go out and blow off some steam to stay sane. yea, it sucks that she goes out every week but you can't really compare that to going to your bach party. for all you know she could go out and have a drink or two and be done... maybe she only spends $40 or so every week. bach parties are expensive for people to go to! they usually end up costing everyone well over $100 when you factor in everything (dinner, drinks, transportation, etc. for yourself and then on top of that, the amount split for the bride). tthat's jmo though

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ita! and if she is going out mid-week, its usually happy hour specials or ladies night. so she probably doesnt spend much. plus, sounds really stressful that she needs to get out

im sorry that its effecting your plans since she is such a good friend. but i wouldnt take it out on her. just go with the flow and have fun w ur other friends. im sure she feels just as crummy that she cant go/contribute

if you are going to city, check out redemption! they have awesome happy hour specials (till 10pm on saturday!!!!) and they make the drinks STRONG. plus, no cover

we went there for a quick drink or two b4 dinner for my friend's bach party. it was definitely a quick, cheap buzz that lasted thru dinner!

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Posted by brittndave

just wanted to add... you'll learn that some people know how to be good bridesmaids while others just suck at it! my half sister was one of my bridesmaids and she basically just showed up at the wedding with her dress. she didn't come to my shower, bach party, or even the rd. just forget about it and don't let it bother you - it's really not worth it in the end!

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I didn't get to see your original post, but from the responses I have a pretty good idea what it's about. And I agree with Brittany. My sister bitched about the cost of my b-party and how she couldn't go into the city because of her kids.......ummmmm they have a father, you know????? So she didn't come to my b-party, didn't come to my RD, and was nothing more than a space holder at the wedding.........oh and she was my MOH