Deleting Just In Case

KPetekie Posted: Jan 20, 2009 08:44 PM

Deleting Just In Case

Dani777 Posted: Jan 20, 2009 08:52 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama

I would def. talk to her about it. I would explain to her that due to the history that the two of them had, that you are considering not inviting him to your wedding. If she seems upset or annoyed, then I would just let it slide. Not like you will actually see him too much on your wedding...but at lest it will make her happy. So talking to her about it may be the best bet...JMO. Good Luck...

coldasice217 Posted: Jan 20, 2009 08:58 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama

How involved is she in the planning? Does she know your guest list situation, your minimums, your maximums?

I would just invite her without a guest, and tell her that between your family and close friends, you really can't be inviting extra plus ones. You can't risk a seeming nutjob like this being near a bar and getting out of hand.

KPetekie Posted: Jan 20, 2009 09:12 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama

That doesn't work. We are inviting about 370 to our wedding but some of those are people who live in Europe and we know aren't coming. Still the wedding should be huge at about 250 and she knows that. She knows how much FILs are giving us money wise and knows its not really a huge issue otherwise that would have been a good excuse. Also, I don't really want to like punish her... she is a good bm and she is helping to plan bachelorette and things like that. I want to be a good friend back... I JUST FREAKING HATE HIM.

KittyGags Posted: Jan 20, 2009 09:15 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama

Honestly, I'd level with her. Tell her shes one of your best friends, how great shes been...how she knows your feelings on him and why she should understand that hes not welcome. As long as you make her realize its not a snub to HER, maybe she will be ok with it?

ETA Proceed with caution. I HAVE been told before that sometimes I'm too honest (just a warnin!)

gina409 Posted: Jan 20, 2009 09:16 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama

i think this is one of those cases where u just have to be honest...she knows tha past just tell her u cant risk him doing anything on ur big day or even ruining the fun for her..im sure she will understand but i would def talk 2 her..hth goodluck

coldasice217 Posted: Jan 20, 2009 09:17 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama

Then I would just sit down with her and be blunt....tell her that you don't appreciate the way that he treats her, and that it makes you and your FH very uncomfortable to be around him, and unfortunately, you will not be inviting him to the wedding. She'll probably be pissed off at first...but I'm sure deep down she'll know you're making the right decision, and she needs to accept that, and hopefully realize herself that she's being abused.

galgirl Posted: Jan 20, 2009 09:22 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama

Hey Katie,

I would also talk to her, but I feel like she can not control what he does...can you talk to him? Does he know how you feel? Can Joey talk to him? I'm sorry you have to deal with this...

KPetekie Posted: Jan 20, 2009 09:28 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama

I don't know. I never considered talking to him about it. But that is an option. Maybe I'm jumping the gun and she will wake up before they really get seriously back together.
I guess I should just wait until closer to the date and hope for the best till then....

galgirl Posted: Jan 20, 2009 09:29 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama

yeah, maybe if you talk to him.. just express concern for your friend and for him as well..maybe you will come off as concerned and he will try not to ruin your day if he can help it.. good luck

ChrissyV729 Posted: Jan 20, 2009 09:32 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama

I would just tell her how you feel. You still have time to play things out. You don't have to send him an invitation or anything. But I think she should understand what you are talking about. If she chooses to accept that or not, is up to her. If they are together you have 3 options... #1 tell her he can't come and she gets really mad... #2 he can't come , she understands and you have a great time... #3 let her bring him a risk him being a total a-hole.

Just to save your butt I would talk to her now so she knows how you feel ahead of time and it is not sprung up right before the wedding.

KPetekie Posted: Jan 20, 2009 09:38 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama

Okay. Here's my plan. I'm going to wait and see what happens with them for the next 2 weeks to a month. (Maybe I'll try to get her to meet a few guys between now and then too lol). Then if it turns out that yes, they are getting back together, I'll talk to her. She knows how I feel about him. We discussed it a lot before when they broke up. He knows how I feel about him too. She told him yesterday that he couldn't come up because 'My roommate hates you'... obviously making a joke out of it but he knows. Also, I was the one who told him to leave at 2 am that night. So he is aware of how I feel also. If they are still together in a month, I will discuss my concerns about him causing a scene ruining her time at the wedding but not actually say that I'm not inviting him... I'll ask her what she thinks about it maybe. This plan is starting to sound bad as I write it out. I dunno lol

KPetekie Posted: Jan 20, 2009 09:41 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama

Maybe I'll talk to them both about it the same time. Tell them its really important to me that they don't drink to much and get into one of their fights. She is my roommate but she lives in the co-op that FH and I own... I'm sure she knows what would happen if my wedding was ruined because of her jack *** of a boyfriend... non boyfriend... whatever he is. Not that I would threaten her with that or say that... and not that I would necessarily not let her live here if that happened... but he sure as hell would not be allowed up. I act like all 3 of us own the place now bc I want her to feel comfortable here... but that would surely change if anything were to happen.

Sweeteey51 Posted: Jan 20, 2009 09:53 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama

I would just let her know hes not invited.

KPetekie Posted: Jan 20, 2009 09:53 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama

Oh my god. As we speak, she just brought him in. She opened the door and was like, 'You are going to kill me'. I was like 'Why?' and then I hear him go, 'I don't want to come in and face her'. So I had to basically be nice and make small talk but yuck.

coldasice217 Posted: Jan 20, 2009 10:00 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama... READ MY LAST POST

Geez....minimize the window.

On second thought, keep it open.

GT143EA Posted: Jan 20, 2009 10:02 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama... READ MY LAST POST

Posted by KPetekie

Oh my god. As we speak, she just brought him in. She opened the door and was like, 'You are going to kill me'. I was like 'Why?' and then I hear him go, 'I don't want to come in and face her'. So I had to basically be nice and make small talk but yuck.

Oh jeez! Im sorry!

gina409 Posted: Jan 20, 2009 10:07 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Boy Drama... READ MY LAST POST

Posted by KPetekie

Oh my god. As we speak, she just brought him in. She opened the door and was like, 'You are going to kill me'. I was like 'Why?' and then I hear him go, 'I don't want to come in and face her'. So I had to basically be nice and make small talk but yuck.

ughhhhhh im sorry

BarbieGrl10 Posted: Jan 20, 2009 10:18 PM

Re: Deleting Just In Case

Yuck! This s ucks! I'm sorry!!!

Honestly I would sit her down and talk about it. I would not include her bf.

Maybe if you tell her how you feel about him causing drama at your wedding she might see hes a really bad idea.... because thats embarrassing to think that your bf is soo immature and such a d!ck he cant be invited to your friends wedding... you know?