depressed about my job - kinda long vent..
sorry i need to vent to some non-partial people. ill try to make it as short as possible..
around march i was working at a job that i liked for one the biggest Long Island companies. i was hoping to get promoted. i hadn't had a boss in 8 months and i took on the job responsibilities of the boss. then they hired me a new boss. i didnt like him, he was cocky and arrogant and he definitely didnt like the fact that i knew how to do his job. so i started looking for a new job. by the time i found one at the end of may, the boss and i settled our differences although he was still arrogant and cocky. i wasnt quite ready to leave the old company (it was my first real job out of college) but the new company offered a lot of money and benefits so i left. on my last day the VP of the old company told me she was sad i was leaving cause i was 'on a special track.' at the time i didnt ask what she meant and just left.
a month later (early july) i wasnt loving the new job. so i emailed the old VP to see what she meant by her comment. she told me to call her, which i did. they made me an offer to come back at a higher position, but offered to pay me only $1000 more than i was getting at the new place. i said id think about it and left it at that. the next day the CMO of the old company calls me up. we chat for a half hour, and of course cause shes a CMO, she markets the crap out of me, telling me exactly what i want to hear about what it will be like if i come back. at the end of the convo i say 'its more hours and a lot more work than my current postion at the new company - make it worth it to me financially and ill come back.' she says shell call me back. a few hours later VP calls back with a new offer - but its the same original offer, with an extra $1k starting in november. i tell her ill call back.
now some background info. old company is known as being a tough place to work. turnover rate is insanely high. customers come wayyy before employees. hours are longer - vacation time is less - during holidays you work 10-20 straight days without a day off. management is very biased two-faced. not a great work environment. but the actual job i had was really interesting and definitely fit my skill set.
so back to the story - i talk to a lot of people trying to make my decision. my heart says go back to old company. not one person i spoke to whose professional opinion i respect told me that i should go back to old company due to all of the negative things noted above. FH def doesnt want me to go back to old company. my mom is like the only person that thinks i should go back, and she herself hasnt really had a career - more has just bounced from job to job her whole life. FH's grandpa (who was very successful in his days) tells me to ask for $100 more a week. and if they do that then its a sign of good will that they will keep their end of the bargain and things will work out.
so i call back VP a few days later and tell her if they can up the offer to $3k more a year, that will make it worth it for all of the extra work. VP says no (which i knew she would), so i say no.we leave it at that. a week later a friend of mine over there emails me to tell me they moved her to my old postion. so offer is officially dead.
fast forward to now. i hate the new job. the environment itself is good. the hours and benefits are good. the people are nice enough. the job itself is boring. its all paperwork. im creative and analytical and this job requires neither of those skills. i have a ton of work to do but i am completely unmotivated. i feel as if a monkey could do this job.
so now i feel this intense self-disgust for not going with my gut. im stuck here until i find something else but thats not going to look great on my resume. the girl they moved to my old position at old company hates it too. they didnt give her an option - so i screwed up someone elses job inadvertantly.
and its really putting a damper on my wedding planning. i mean really the only things that make me not depressed all the time are FH cause hes so loving (and hes so supportive of my decision even though he knows i hate it) - and the wedding planning. but seriously i feel like ive been waiting to plan this wedding for my whole life and it just stinks that this depression is always in my heart and in the back of my mind.
but most of all i just feel incredibly sad that i put myself in this position.
around march i was working at a job that i liked for one the biggest Long Island companies. i was hoping to get promoted. i hadn't had a boss in 8 months and i took on the job responsibilities of the boss. then they hired me a new boss. i didnt like him, he was cocky and arrogant and he definitely didnt like the fact that i knew how to do his job. so i started looking for a new job. by the time i found one at the end of may, the boss and i settled our differences although he was still arrogant and cocky. i wasnt quite ready to leave the old company (it was my first real job out of college) but the new company offered a lot of money and benefits so i left. on my last day the VP of the old company told me she was sad i was leaving cause i was 'on a special track.' at the time i didnt ask what she meant and just left.
a month later (early july) i wasnt loving the new job. so i emailed the old VP to see what she meant by her comment. she told me to call her, which i did. they made me an offer to come back at a higher position, but offered to pay me only $1000 more than i was getting at the new place. i said id think about it and left it at that. the next day the CMO of the old company calls me up. we chat for a half hour, and of course cause shes a CMO, she markets the crap out of me, telling me exactly what i want to hear about what it will be like if i come back. at the end of the convo i say 'its more hours and a lot more work than my current postion at the new company - make it worth it to me financially and ill come back.' she says shell call me back. a few hours later VP calls back with a new offer - but its the same original offer, with an extra $1k starting in november. i tell her ill call back.
now some background info. old company is known as being a tough place to work. turnover rate is insanely high. customers come wayyy before employees. hours are longer - vacation time is less - during holidays you work 10-20 straight days without a day off. management is very biased two-faced. not a great work environment. but the actual job i had was really interesting and definitely fit my skill set.
so back to the story - i talk to a lot of people trying to make my decision. my heart says go back to old company. not one person i spoke to whose professional opinion i respect told me that i should go back to old company due to all of the negative things noted above. FH def doesnt want me to go back to old company. my mom is like the only person that thinks i should go back, and she herself hasnt really had a career - more has just bounced from job to job her whole life. FH's grandpa (who was very successful in his days) tells me to ask for $100 more a week. and if they do that then its a sign of good will that they will keep their end of the bargain and things will work out.
so i call back VP a few days later and tell her if they can up the offer to $3k more a year, that will make it worth it for all of the extra work. VP says no (which i knew she would), so i say no.we leave it at that. a week later a friend of mine over there emails me to tell me they moved her to my old postion. so offer is officially dead.
fast forward to now. i hate the new job. the environment itself is good. the hours and benefits are good. the people are nice enough. the job itself is boring. its all paperwork. im creative and analytical and this job requires neither of those skills. i have a ton of work to do but i am completely unmotivated. i feel as if a monkey could do this job.
so now i feel this intense self-disgust for not going with my gut. im stuck here until i find something else but thats not going to look great on my resume. the girl they moved to my old position at old company hates it too. they didnt give her an option - so i screwed up someone elses job inadvertantly.
and its really putting a damper on my wedding planning. i mean really the only things that make me not depressed all the time are FH cause hes so loving (and hes so supportive of my decision even though he knows i hate it) - and the wedding planning. but seriously i feel like ive been waiting to plan this wedding for my whole life and it just stinks that this depression is always in my heart and in the back of my mind.
but most of all i just feel incredibly sad that i put myself in this position.
