DH and I had the TTC talk this weekend! Some questions though....

I've been kind of bashful about posting on this board, but lately I've been thinking about TTC a LOT, and just this weekend the topic of having children of our own came up. We talked about it for a while and Craig said he's ready to start now! I said we should start in the next few months or so too, but I can't help but have all these fears!! I would love to start TTC, but then I start worrying about

credit card debt (over 10K)
no car
unstable job that I hate
job is over an hour from home
family is out of state
DH works late nights Mon - Thurs
money - not having enough
my age (26) - am I too young?
moving to a bigger house


and it just makes me think that with all these concerns, maybe I'm not ready, and even worse, that I'm not meant to ever be a mom Can I ask those of you who are TTC now - is this normal, or am I crazy for thinking like this? My idea was to pay off the wedding debt, save up some money, and have a better job before we started sprinkling baby dust But then everyone else I talk to tells me the same thing - that we would be fine to start trying now. I dream about starting a family and I really feel like I'm ready now - but then I think about my 'worry list' and wonder if I'm being selfish by not taking care of those issues before having a child? So confused about this. I am beyond happy when I think about being a mother and raising beautiful children with DH, but then I get so scared about messing it all up by doing something wrong! Can you ladies offer any advice? Our talk this weekend just stirred up so many questions that DH can't really answer, so I'd really appreciate any advice you can share with me Thanks so much!

I think we all have monetary concerns when the TTC discussion comes up. There's a mixed feeling between wanting to be more financially stable, and not wanting to put off having a baby. DH and I are going through this exact struggle right now.
It is completely normal to have the fears you have, but only you and your DH can make the decision if you're ready or not. Maybe you can work on finding a job closer to home that you enjoy more before TTC. That way you will alleviate 2 of the concerns from your list. In the meantime, you and DH can make a huge effort to pay off as much of the debt as you can before TTC.
No matter what you guys decide, just make sure you're both on the same page and you will be fine. Good luck!

Awwh Helena! I'm so happy you're thinking about it. I think you would make a tremendously awesome Mom. With the way you fret over and care for Golem, you will make a wonderful mother.

I don't think there is ever 'the right time' to have a baby; surely we weren't in a good place financially or emotionally. We were coming off some bad stuff emotionally that we were going through for YEARS, I was working two jobs, we still had massive debt from the house, etc. But we still tried and were fortunate enough that we were blessed with our precious little girl. No matter if i had to eat Ramen noodles for the rest of my life; nothing would compare to the joy I feel when she holds her little hands up for me or touches my face and smiles. Believe it or not (and this isn't true for all cases), it seemed to clear up all the b.s. my husband and I were going through; our priorities were put in check. I'm not saying everyday is perfect, but it's MUCH better than before she was in our lives. As for the $$$, you always find a way. A baby really needs the basics; all the bells and whistles they can honestly do without. Childcare might be a concern but maybe you could find a job closer to home or that provides childcare services, etc. I know several L.I. companies do have onsite child care.

Maybe set a goal for yourself, like you'll take a year to play cleanup with your debt, seek out better employment opportunities, etc. We tried the 2 year goal but we still had debt after that. We'll have debt until we die so we just deal...thankfully you have time on your side because you are younger. Being an old fart at 33, I didn't want to wait

I wish you all the best!! I would be tickled pink if you ended up P/G in the near future!

Awww, thanks so much Sharon! that was such a sweet post - I think you are one of the nicest people here!!

I guess the money is my biggest concern bc I grew up in a pretty bad financial situation, and I swore to myself that I would never put my own children through that - no matter what, I never want them to go through life thinking 'my family is poor' - so I'm pretty hardcore about having enough to support a family. But Craig and I were talking abou it again last night and we are starting to put all extra money into savings - and that will be used to payy down our cc debt. So far we're doing pretty good and have a nice little chunk of change. I set a goal for myself to get at least half of the debt paid off in the next 6 months and with our savings and tax returns coming up too, I think I'll swing it! I'm also getting some recuiting help from Craig's dad who's worked with headhunters for almost 20 years! So hopefully I'll be able to find a new job, either closer to home or in the city that pays more. This is a very exciting time!!! But I just want to be sure that we are not jumping in over out heads either, so we're doing what we can now to make it a little easier

Thanks again ladies for such warm and heartfelt advice -I really value all the kind words and wonderful advice you're all so willing to share!