Here's my situation ... FMIL ordered a bone dress for our wedding. At first I was just happy that she found something that she loved because she was having a difficult time finding a dress. Now when I think about it, I find it kind of strange because she's so into etiquette as are her friends, and she seems semi-uncomfortable about it (especially after she found out my dress was ivory) and keeps emphasizing that it's not white, but bone.
I'm not mad or upset, but there's something awkward about it. I know I'm not going to be upstaged - that's not even close to a concern - I'm in a bridal gown, her dress is a MOG dress. I'm somewhat concerned that it will be made a big deal by other people (i.e. my friends and family), and I really don't want that to be the 'scandal' on my wedding day. I know I shouldn't care what others think, and I'll get over it, but it's sort of bothering me now.
Did anyone else have (or is having) someone else wear white, and did it cause any drama? Were people making a big deal about it? I know at the end of the day it won't matter, and I'm normally not one to tell people what they can/can't wear. I just have a strange feeling about this.
Honestly, most of this post is just so I can talk myself through this.
LB and DC
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
IMO, if you don't think it's a big deal, then it isn't. people who want tp cause drama or talk about a 'scandal' will find something to talk about even if your FMIL isn't wearing a bone-colored dress. if you think it might be an issue, would it be appropriate for her to wear a colored shawl, jacket or bolero, just to take some of the focus away from the color? in any case i think you are right - you will be the one in the wedding gown, and no one is going to upstage you.
Drv0716
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
I wouldn't think it was a big deal at all unless I knew the person who was wearing white (or 'bone') was doing it specifically to upstage the bride. My best friend's mother picked out a gorgeous dress for my wedding (it's from her sons's rehearsal dinner) & she was worried about it because it's champagne. I told her not to worry at all. She looked great in the dress & that's all that matters. The only thing I've told my friends when they've asked what not to wear is 'As long as you don't show up in a bridal gown or veil, I'm happy.'
portjeffbride
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
heh, MIL wore an all ivory silk dress..... and my gown was also ivory. It didn't cause any drama, and I didn't mind at all. After all, who could mistake or compete with a bridal gown?
I didn't care what people wore, and frankly, I barely remember many of the outfits. Everyone else sort of blended into the background.... Also, I think everyone (including our bridal party) was really happy being able to choose their outfits by themselves. Both MIL and mom looked great.
leshellem
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
My fmil is also wearing ivory, my dress is ivory and it's really not a big deal. I doubt anyone would notice.
MeNBobs
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
My SIL wore a white dress with a cream cape/wrap thing It didn't bother me. A few of my friends did say to me I can't believe she wore that and wanted to know if I was mad but I thought it was a silly thing to get annoyed over. The color of her dress did not affect my day or make me have any less of a good time. I think you have a great attitude about your FMIL dress, If you don't make an issue out of it no one else will.
Snickers76
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
My Mom is wearing a bone colored pantsuit. I don't care...
dancerandchef
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
EGreene79, Hi! This is off the subject you FM me over the weekend. I just wanted to let you know that I sent you a FM. So you have FM. Now back to the subject. I think a bone color should be fine. Ivory is completely different than bone. The dresses are totally different. I hope that I helped you out 'date twin'!! Please FM me back. If you have any other questions just ask.
~dancer and chef~ charlotte and michael
EGreene79
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
Thanks for all the advice ladies. I know it's not a big deal - I'm just sort of weirded out right now, but since I'm laughing about it, I guess I'm ok!
FH wants to tell her to get a colored sash, but I think that will make her feel uncomfortable about it. Some people will think it's tacky, but if I don't care, and she doesn't care - then it doesn't matter. I'm giving my BMs a heads up so they can quash and gossip between my friends, my family won't even notice, and her side is her problem.
Thanks again!
carolinebr
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
Posted by portjeffbride
heh, MIL wore an all ivory silk dress..... and my gown was also ivory. It didn't cause any drama, and I didn't mind at all. After all, who could mistake or compete with a bridal gown?
Same thing here. MIL wore a 'bone' colored dress but it didn't look like a wedding dress so I didn't care. At first, I was annoyed, but the day of, I didn't care. And it really was a beautiful dress that looked great on her.
BUT 2 guests showed up in white dresses & I thought that was a little annoying. One was BIL's GF. She wore an all white eyelet sundress. I wasn't MAD but I noticed for about 5 seconds and then it rolled off my shoulders.
hmv12
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
Posted by Drv0716
I wouldn't think it was a big deal at all unless I knew the person who was wearing white (or 'bone') was doing it specifically to upstage the bride. My best friend's mother picked out a gorgeous dress for my wedding (it's from her sons's rehearsal dinner) & she was worried about it because it's champagne. I told her not to worry at all. She looked great in the dress & that's all that matters. The only thing I've told my friends when they've asked what not to wear is 'As long as you don't show up in a bridal gown or veil, I'm happy.'
well said
PeteysBride
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
In all honesty though its tacky, its not the end of the world. I have folks wearing ivory and white to my wedding-mixed prints that have a lot of white and they were all very concerned and asked me first but I don't care. I'm in a wedding down and we arent traditional anyway-wearing red shoes for crying out loud. I would just take it with a grain of salt. The worse that will happen is you two will blen din in photos :)
bettybcafe
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
I was actually in a similiar situation with my mother a few weeks ago. she finally found a dress that fit her perfectly! Except it was white...sigh. I didnt know what to do...she finally found something she loved, yet I wasnt happy with the fact that she was wearing the same color as me. However, some brides may not mind that. I say, its totally up to you...if it doesnt bother you then let it go..but if it does, let her search for another dress. Remember, its your wedding and you dont want to be upset the entire day..
twinkle164
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
You ladies are all so nice. Good for you. I feel terrible but that is the ONE thing that would piss me off. Nothing else would but someone wearing white, well lets just say there would be an accident involving red wine . However bone is not white and that would be fine.
faithandkevin
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
My mom is wearing ivory. I don't mind b/c she's my mom and it's obvious she's not competing with me. I think it's a nice thing for us to share. If it was my FMIL wearing ivory, I don't think I'd like it. But my FMIL is wearing the same color as my bridesmaids and I don't mind.
futrmrsblt
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
one of my good friends wore a white dress (with a tiny bit of black) from balck house white market and i didnt care at all.. the guests know who the bride is....
MJDoc12
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
if YOU don't care--then its all good. but i'm sure some guests will be gossiping about it.
at my brother's wedding 10 years ago, BOTH the FMIL and my bro's step-mom wore dresses that were 'off white'. my mom specifically made sure her dress was no where near white, and was SHOCKED about it. i don't know whether my SIL cared or not, but IMO i thought it was inappropriate, but like i said, its all about how the bride feels about it.
if someone came to my wedding, wearing white, you bet your sweet asss i would've sent them home to change. that might be bridezilla, but that's just how i roll.
jenn122397
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
i just saw a show thsi weekend - wedding dos and donts and one of teh top 5 donts was dont wear white or ivory if you are a guest - beige and other colors in that family are acceptable. I would be more than a lil upset if my FMIL ordered a dress even remortely close to my dress - i would definietly ask her to change (well my FMIL would prob then wear it on purpose just to upset me) but anyway - if shes a nice FMIL i would def. talk to her about it
EGreene79
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
You ladies are great. Thanks again for the stories and advice. I definitely feel better about everything.
At this point I think FH might just want to make sure she is comfortable with it. I think at this point, at least from what I can tell yesterday, she may suspect that some people will think it's a really bad idea. But it's in her court - I can't control what everyone else has to say!
PegaLega
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Re: Did anyone else wear white to your wedding?
Truthfully-no one wore anything even close to white to my wedding so really I couldnt tell you how i would feel.
HOWEVER...we went to a wedding recently and there was a guest that wore 'champagne' it look white and EVERYONE including myself couldnt believe that she had worn it b/c 'only the bride should wear anything close to white' so just know that people may talk about it.
