did anyone have a lot of names for the 'memorial' page of their programs?

We have lost so many people in our lives.

All 8 of our grandparents are dead. My aunt and three of my uncles have passed. My FH has also lost his uncle.

Here's my big question, though: Do I put the names of the grandparents I never knew? 3 out of 4 died before I was born. I was planning to put them down because it might look odd otherwise... but I never knew them.

Thoughts?

We really want to put names. We were very close to t he aunts and uncles that died (and they died relatively young). Their children and the one living spouse will be there, and I think they would be offended if we didn't list their names.

I just wanted to make sure it was okay to put all grandparents' names down even if we had never known them.

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Posted by Kara and Todd

We really want to put names. We were very close to t he aunts and uncles that died (and they died relatively young). Their children and the one living spouse will be there, and I think they would be offended if we didn't list their names.

I just wanted to make sure it was okay to put all grandparents' names down even if we had never known them.

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it's absolutely ok! the main idea is that you wish they were there to share this day with you - and of course you do, so it's definitely appropriate to put their names in.

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Posted by Soon2BMrsMunzGunz

Since my Father passed away when I was little I am also going to carry a bouquet locket with a pic of him and do a memory candle.

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That's a beautiful idea!

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Posted by LB and DC

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Posted by Kara and Todd

We really want to put names. We were very close to t he aunts and uncles that died (and they died relatively young). Their children and the one living spouse will be there, and I think they would be offended if we didn't list their names.

I just wanted to make sure it was okay to put all grandparents' names down even if we had never known them.

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it's absolutely ok! the main idea is that you wish they were there to share this day with you - and of course you do, so it's definitely appropriate to put their names in.

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Ok, in that case then ITA!! Go ahead and list your grandparents names, even those you've never met. I thought you were concerned about space on the program.

If you're catholic, this may be relavent. Normally a sunday mass is dedicated to the sick and departed, with their names being mentioned during the mass. At a wedding, the mass is instead dedicated to the couple. No names of any sick or departed should be mentioned on the program or in a prayer, becuase the mass would then be dedicated to them, rather than the couple..... I was told by both my family and my priest that it isn't appropriate to mention any specific names... you can merely pray on behalf of all departed family members of the bride and groom....

we had a lot.... we basically put them in order of 'imoprtance' all though that sounds terrible....

first was FH's mom
then grandparents (yes, all but 1, so 7 names)
then uncles we were close with then
then 2 friends we were close with

i actually lost my aunt (father's sister) two weeks before the wedding... we put an insert inside (a little bookmark with her name) because my programs were already printed. it also highlighted her a little more... my cousins realyl loved it.

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Posted by portjeffbride


If you're catholic, this may be relavent. Normally a sunday mass is dedicated to the sick and departed, with their names being mentioned during the mass. At a wedding, the mass is instead dedicated to the couple. No names of any sick or departed should be mentioned on the program or in a prayer, becuase the mass would then be dedicated to them, rather than the couple..... I was told by both my family and my priest that it isn't appropriate to mention any specific names... you can merely pray on behalf of all departed family members of the bride and groom....

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this was not our case... in fact, the priest mentioned Fh's mother a lot and about all the people in our lives who shaped us as individuals and as a couple. the Mass is dedicated to the couple and that is always clear... but the dead are always prayed for in the Prayer of the Faithful (we included names here). In the program, we just left it like, 'Missing you today...' type of thing... it was not a dedication.

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Posted by portjeffbride


If you're catholic, this may be relavent. Normally a sunday mass is dedicated to the sick and departed, with their names being mentioned during the mass. At a wedding, the mass is instead dedicated to the couple. No names of any sick or departed should be mentioned on the program or in a prayer, becuase the mass would then be dedicated to them, rather than the couple..... I was told by both my family and my priest that it isn't appropriate to mention any specific names... you can merely pray on behalf of all departed family members of the bride and groom....

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Interesting... I am Catholic - we're having a ceremony, not the mass. Almost every catcholic wedding I've been to (dozens) has had some sort of acknowledgement for the sick or the departed. At every one, there was a petition for the sick and the dead -- but the mass wasn't dedicated to anyone other than the couple.

Kara, Look at my last post...

I think the poster you're quoting is not correct... or at least not in the ROMAN catholic tradition... perhaps the Eastern Orthodox or Ukraninan Catholics do it differerntly.

Roman Catholics offer up a petition to the dead in the Prayer of the Faithful where you can specifically mention names.... People have Masses said for the dead, but that wouldn't apply to a Nuptial Mass as that is for the couple.

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Posted by donegal419

Kara, Look at my last post...

I think the poster you're quoting is not correct... or at least not in the ROMAN catholic tradition... perhaps the Eastern Orthodox or Ukraninan Catholics do it differerntly.

Roman Catholics offer up a petition to the dead in the Prayer of the Faithful where you can specifically mention names.... People have Masses said for the dead, but that wouldn't apply to a Nuptial Mass as that is for the couple.

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I agree.... our Church specifically asked us for the names and relationship of the sick and deceased for the Prayers of the Intercession or Prayers of the Faithful.

Maybe some parishes do it differently?

I know it's not correct for the RC church.

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Posted by Kara and Todd

I know it's not correct for the RC church.

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Actually, we are RC... and from very religious families. however, we're also european, and while that SHOULDN'T make a difference, it actually does, apparently. Expectations and traditions vary in churches from country to country, and ethnic churches in brooklyn follow the fatherland, not american tendencies... I will say, though, that my aunt (who is very american) also said I couldn't mention names in the prayer of the faithful, when I asked her advice....

if you look carefully at the infamous 'together for life' book, there is no blank slot in the prayer of the faithful for the addition of any names/ memorials... it just mentions praying on behalf of those close to 'bride' and 'groom'.

I guess there are more basic differences between the american diocese and european than I originally realized....

This is why in my program, it simply states:

As we celebrate this day with our family and friends, we would also like to remember those who are not with us today, but are here in spirit.

FH and I would have had a list of about 10-12 people if we did names, and I didn't want to offend anyone, so we just left it at that. I added a clip art picture of a single candle burning on top of the paragraph.