I have this bridesmaid who expressed that she wanted to be in my wedding party before I even got engaged. We have been friends for over 25 years. I wasen't asked to be in her bridal party but, I helped out alot because she had a few out of town bridesmaids. She always told me she regretted not asking me so I kind of felt like I had to ask her. After saying yes months later she told me she was going to try and get pregnant and that she didn't want to be in the bridal party. Then a few months later she told me she changed her mind and I said it was ok she could be back in it. I sent a email with measurements to order the dresses. SHe is chunky but, has a very big chest. She was telling me for another wedding party she was in she had to order a 26 for her chest. According to the chart it doesn't come in 26 and she said she is going to get back to me what she is going to do. Basically, I took it as if they don't have my size I can't wear this dress. I am so tired of this already. Its not really my problem right????
anamaree77
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Re: Difficult bridesmaid...long
No, ur right, not really your problem. I say pick the dress.....tell her where/what it is and the deadline to order. She's a big girl.....if she can't get it ordered in time then she's out of the wedding. Just my opinion, hope it's not rude! I don't mean to be, you just sound FED UP!!
BoxOfRocks
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Re: Difficult bridesmaid...long
Do you know if she is a size 26 in the dress you want? Different manufacturers have different size charts, so her size in your dress may be available.
If it's not, talk to a seamstress about what can be done. Perhaps you can order the largest size available plus extra fabric. The extra fabric can be added to give the dress more room.
Have you considered selecting a different dress?
Confirm 1) whether or not the true size needed is available, and 2) if not, what your alternatives are. Then, give her a deadline to get it ordered.
shcole08
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Re: Difficult bridesmaid...long
my cousin has 38DD's and I guarantee she will not make a big deal about it.
bemyyoko
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Re: Difficult bridesmaid...long
i have DDD's and the first thing I did when my cousin (MOH) picked her bridesmaid dress was check a size measurement chart for the designer to make sure the dress came in a size I could wear.
I think, that if you asked her to be in your bridal party, or at least told her she was in your bridal party, it's your responsibility to pick a dress that at least comes in her size.
I think it's almost rude to say 'you're in my bridal party but I picked a dress that won't fit you, not my problem, figure it out.'
But that's just me.
anamaree77
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Re: Difficult bridesmaid...long
Oh maybe I misunderstood or read too fast. I never meant to imply that if it doesn't come in her size, that's not her problem. I was commenting more along the lines of her being difficult.
Naturally, if it's a dress problem, then it is your obligation to make sure she can fit comfortably and if you have to change the dress then so be it. However, she should stop flip-flopping and work with you to make this happen.
bemyyoko
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Re: Difficult bridesmaid...long
Posted by shcole08 Basically, I took it as if they don't have my size I can't wear this dress. I am so tired of this already. Its not really my problem right????
If the dress doesn't come in her size, what are her options? Plus size gowns usually cost at least an extra $30 some even cost $100 more than a 'standard' size gown.
If you take that into consideration, and then add on the cost for extra material if the dress you selected doesn't come large enough (that is, if the company even sells the fabric like that) plus the alteration fees... I think saying 'if it doesn't come in my size, I can't wear this dress' is a very fair statement.
As far as her flip flopping goes, that's annoying. and if she's using the dress to flip flop again, definitely call her out on it. But as someone who has been in her shoes, I just think it's unfair to say it's not your problem and you're tired of her actions, when this specific action sounds like it's out of her control.
Have you spoken to the shop you're getting the dresses at to see what they can do for her? Also, make sure she knows that just b/c she was a size 20something by one designer, she doesn't have to wear that size in all. I got a 16 for the wedding I'm in next week, and I'll need to order a 22 for my MOH's wedding. It's a hassle b/c the 22 will need to be altered down 4 or 5 sizes to fit everywhere but my bust... the 16 had to be taken in a few sizes as well... but in the end, I'll do what needs to get done. If the 22 dress, only came up to a size 18... I would not order it.
MrsJ08
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Re: Difficult bridesmaid...long
I was in your shoes just recently, I wanted the Ann Taylor dress really badly but one of my BM (FH's sister) is over weight and the largest size they had was an 18 which she didn't fit into. So I said I will try to find a dress in that similar color for you, I went to a few bridal salons and looked at swatches I found a few but she said she would feel uncomfortable wearing a different dress since the maid of honor should be different. So then Im like OK what the hell should I do, I called AT and they said they sell fabric but I would need to go to a tailor so I called her and she said ok thats great she will ask her mom to do it since she was a seamstress, So she ordered the dress, and fabric and she starts telling my FH how she felt bad putting her mom through this and bla bla and how maybe she shouldn't be in the BP just walk in for the reception entrance so I got upset and had my first melt down. FH wrote her this nasty email saying how could you do this this is my wedding, your my sister etc...so Finally things cooled down and she apologized to us SO hopefully, they will be able to expand her dress...lol Sorry I didn't help you but I know what you are going through!
