I have a problem/question… it’s gonna be long.. sorry…
MOH is OOT (CT) and a teacher. I am on the step of planning for the RD now. My ideal situation would be to have to have it 2 nights before the wedding (Wednesday for the Friday Wedding) this way I have all day Thursday to relax, do nails, wax etc… All the other girls said that either day would be fine (Wednesday or Thursday) MOH said that the can only come if its Thursday. She can’t take another day off of work. (she was sick a lot in the beginning of the school year so she used a lto of days), and even if it was Thursday she would probably miss the actual rehearsal and only be able to make the dinner. (totally ok with that). And she said she really wants to be there for the rehearsal but if I couldn’t have it the night before she would have to understand. I am thinking of maybe making the rehearsal the weekend before this way she can make it. But a lot of places are booked already, and I haven’t talked to the church about that issue yet (they are pretty flexible though, so it probably wont be a problem)
Thing is, she didn’t make it to the e-party either (even when we had to reschedule it b/c of the storm and the blackout). She hasn’t’ been around for anything wedding related yet. I have talked to her on the phone off and on and the last time I saw her was September. But I was getting really frustrated when I would call and text and got no reply. Found out that her husband’s grandmother died, so I understood.
Anyway, I feel that she has been really m.i.a. she only was able to come dress shopping with me once. Still hasn’t seen MY dress. Someone was saying that if she can’t make it to the RD then she shouldn’t be my MOH.
I just don’t know what to do… my ideal thing is to have the RD on Wednesday. But should I do that knowing she can’t make it?! Or should I just have it Thursday????? Oh – other thing is – the place we want to do the dinner is a 4 hour dinner, we might not get out of there till 12! THE NIGHT BEFORE THE WEDDING! Eek.
Please dont quote!
PazzaRagazza
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schedule the RD when you want to..... maybe im just jaded but im sort of tired trying to make everyon else happy and accomodating everyone else!!!!1
My RD is gunna be the week before-- i know its not ideal for EVERYONE however.... it works for me :)
MrsKon1111
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ITA with the above
MYyrd is the wednesday before my friday wedding bc thats what works for us
chris1082
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Posted by MrsKon1111
ITA with the above
MYyrd is the wednesday before my friday wedding bc thats what works for us
Me too
I don't want my RD the night before. I want the day before my wedding to be very relaxed!
Thats-What-She-Said
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Schedule the rehearsal for whenever you want.
But for someone to tell you that she shouldn't be your maid of honor is wrong.
The reason that you asked her to be your MOH is because of your relationship with her. your past with her. Not because you thought she would be able to do the most stuff for you.
I'm sorry that you feel like she hasn't been there a lot for you, but I'm sure she loves you.
futurestevens
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Re: dilemma... help
Posted by PazzaRagazza
schedule the RD when you want to..... maybe im just jaded but im sort of tired trying to make everyon else happy and accomodating everyone else!!!!1
My RD is gunna be the week before-- i know its not ideal for EVERYONE however.... it works for me :)
Lizzie's got a good point. Do what works for you, you don't need the extra stress
Thats-What-She-Said
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My rehearsal is the week before. Honestly, I hate the idea! But FIL's are paying for it and they want it a week before.
We have already had 3 people say they can't make. Everyone has stuff happening on the weekends. I can't expect everyone to stop their lives for my wedding. I would much rather have it the night before the wedding. I would love to have dinner with bridal party the night before.
merbride
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Re: dilemma... help
Posted by PazzaRagazza
schedule the RD when you want to..... maybe im just jaded but im sort of tired trying to make everyon else happy and accomodating everyone else!!!!1
My RD is gunna be the week before-- i know its not ideal for EVERYONE however.... it works for me :)
great answer! so sick of accommodating others!
mrsq2be
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thanks girls. thing is - i dont think id be that upset if it was a BM who lived locally or something liek that..,
when do i give her teh MOH gift? and since she didn't mae it to the e party, i feel like she should really be at the RD. so I feel like i shoudl work around her.
maybe i should just do it wednesday. for my sanity.
I probably shouldn't have even asked! lol
kimmaymb20
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Lisa this is your wedding you need to do what you feel is right for you and not everyone else. And dont let anyone tell you to let her go of her MOH duties if she cant attend it happens and I bet its hard with her living out of state. Im a crazy girl Im having my rehersal the night before because of all the OTTs in the wedding.
Go with your gut and do what you feel is going to be beneficial to you
mrsq2be
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Posted by kimmaymb20
Lisa this is your wedding you need to do what you feel is right for you and not everyone else. And dont let anyone tell you to let her go of her MOH duties if she cant attend it happens and I bet its hard with her living out of state. Im a crazy girl Im having my rehersal the night before because of all the OTTs in the wedding.
Go with your gut and do what you feel is going to be beneficial to you
thanks kim. i shoudl really stop doing things for everyone else and start doing something for me once in a while huh? I know its hard for her i jstu think she'd feel really bad for not being able to make it
Tomsbride
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I don't think she HAS to be at the RD to be your MOH. What happens is pretty self explanatory. Pick the date you want and hoepfully she can make it down.
Jennielee15
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Posted by Reinhart2be
Schedule the rehearsal for whenever you want.
But for someone to tell you that she shouldn't be your maid of honor is wrong.
The reason that you asked her to be your MOH is because of your relationship with her. your past with her. Not because you thought she would be able to do the most stuff for you.
I'm sorry that you feel like she hasn't been there a lot for you, but I'm sure she loves you.
ITA My MOH is in Alaska so obviously she is not involved as much. She is still a very big part of my life and no matter what anyone says she is my MOH and I'm happy with my decision!
kedra5
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Posted by PazzaRagazza
schedule the RD when you want to..... maybe im just jaded but im sort of tired trying to make everyon else happy and accomodating everyone else!!!!1
My RD is gunna be the week before-- i know its not ideal for EVERYONE however.... it works for me :)[/QUOTE
This!! ]
itbroi805
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I would do what makes you happy, and you have to figure out what's more important to YOU - it being on a wednesday or your MOH being there.
Lisa dont hate me but personally I would try to include her. Even though she would understand, I feel deep down she would be upset. According to you, she is the most important woman in your life and if it's possible to include her, then I think it's important to try.
but thats JMO. I think it's nicer to try and include her.
My RD is the night before the wedding so that all of my OOT BMs would be included. Even though it will be crazy and I won't get to relax as much, I will be spending the day/night with my besties and family and I can't think of a better way to spend the night before the best day of my life. It makes it into a wedding weekend!!
hope it works out Li!! let me know what happens
mrsq2be
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Posted by itbroi805 .
Lisa dont hate me but personally I would try to include her. Even though she would understand, I feel deep down she would be upset. According to you, she is the most important woman in your life and if it's possible to include her, then I think it's important to try.
but thats JMO. I think it's nicer to try and include her.
This is what I am thinking! I feel that deep down she woudl be upset bc she didn't make it to the e party etc...
I dotn hate you T! I am glad you were honest, bc thats exactly hte way I am feeling right now.
LoveyDovey
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I would try for thursday before but maybe pick a place that isn't 4 hours! that's a long day!
I always accommodate everyone so I understand why you would want to...the question is how important is it to YOU that she attends?
if you really want her there then move it around her...if you dont mind her not attending then do it the day you want it
but also, Id make it really clear to her that you are rearranging it for her, so tell her to be sure she attends
