Disappointing MOH- vent!

I am so disappointed in my MOH right now, I don't even know what to say. She emails me asking what the potential plans for my b-party are & I mention that me and the other girls are hoping to do a weekend away either in Vegas, Atlantic City, Ocean City, Montauk, DC or Chicago... lots of choices, lots of price ranges. Out of nowhere she goes on a sob story tangent about how money is so tight for her right now that she could never do an overnight trip anywhere...and that rather than rain on the parade she'd rather just not go at all! ***!

Prior to this statement she told me how she can't go BM dress shopping with me for the next two weekends because she's going snowboarding in VT this weekend & then away for a wedding the next- guess she has money for that, but not for my wedding stuff. She lives at home, and has for two years, now she's complaining that her dad asked her to chip in $400/month. $400!!!- I pay $1600/month, give me a break. I don't know why she's flaking out all of a sudden & I'm so hurt... I don't know what to do either. Do I simplify b-party plans so she can go, do I keep them the same & pay for her or do I just leave her at home???

i'm so disappointed, i thought my bp would be drama free!

keep em the same and let her decide! It's your day!



Sorry you are going through this!

so sorry to hear that....

I say, go with what YOU want to do. If its an issue, thats HER problem. I know you probably want her there...but i find it really irresponsible of her.

I mean, I know that sometimes we forget that not everyone out there is thinking about OUR weddings, but at the same time, she knew about the financial responsibilites when she accepted being your MOH.

If you really want her there maybe offer to help her pay for some of it? Oh man, as I'm writing that I'm cringing. You shouldn't HAVE to pay for it since its YOUR BP, but at the same time, I guess you might just have to do it if she can't afford it.

There's no use in saying to her 'Well, then why are you going on that ski-trip?', etc.... That will only cause a fight. I say just keep going on with your plans - as planned, and have her work out her own financial issues.

Awww...I am sorry you're disappointed with your maid of honor. Try to enjoy your birthday anyway!!!!!

Keep your plans!!!! If she wants to go she will find a way. You can always have a 2nd smaller b-party with those who couldn't make the first one

thanks for the kind words... i've been thinking about it & was starting to feel like I should just offer to pay for her...but the more i think about it the more i feel like maybe she said that assuming i'd step up and offer the $. she's my cousin & we've grown up together. i've always been the responsible one & she's always been the one who never grew up. i feel like she's taking advantage, knowing the usual thing i'd do is take care of her i'm so frustrated.

totally agree with you
well said....

I want a weekend getaway in Las Vegas as well. some of my BM's can't afford to go, so about a week before the wedding we're going to go out in the city as well. This way the LV trip will be small, but then we can have another party when we get back!

P.S., It will all work out. You should do what you want, this is the only time EVER that this will happen...make the most of it!

she may need a verbal warning and then a demotion like i had t o do ...