dissapointed by a bridesmaid

Tricia1230 Posted: Apr 02, 2012 03:18 PM

dissapointed by a bridesmaid

I got engaged in January 2011 and one of my friends practically begged me to be a bridesmaid n said she'd do anything to help me. We were never really close , but hung out a few times. I said ok and asked her to start saving for the dress. Now we went shopping for bridesmaid dresses in January 2012 and she did not save not even a penny. She told me she would have money by the end of the month and she would order it then. I decided to go ahead n put the dress on my credit card so all the dresses would come together. After not receiving a dime from her all January she told me she'd pay me in February. Now we are in April n she still has not sent me anything. She has the dress already and keeps texting me telling me she is sending out money today. 2 weeks has gone by and still nothing. I finally decided to ask her not to participate because I have told her several times I cannot afford to pay for her dress as I am paying for my wedding alone as well as putting myself through college. She takes days to respond to my text messages and emails and I have had enough. I don't want my other bridesmaids stuck with the burden of hunting her down for money. (This girl lives with her parents and only spends money on going out) I feel like this is all a big slap in the face from her. Am I right to feel this way?

kitt6katt Posted: Apr 02, 2012 04:07 PM

Re: dissapointed by a bridesmaid

I am so sorry you are dealing with this..unfortunately, a lot of times, we really learn about people during the wedding planning process. Hope your other BMs are awesome!

Tricia1230 Posted: Apr 02, 2012 04:10 PM

Re: dissapointed by a bridesmaid

Thanks. Everyone has been telling me to kick her out but I tried giving her the benefit of the doubt, but after months I give up. Yes my other BMs are ready to go thank gd.

KristyANDMatt224 Posted: Apr 02, 2012 04:10 PM

Re: dissapointed by a bridesmaid

I think you are 100% right. When someone agrees to be a bridesmaid, you are saying yes to a huge responsibility so man up! And I totally get your concern for the other bridesmaids. I chose my best girls who have been around for years and would support each other. It's not fair to your bridesmaids or you to shell out money for her. Hence why I refused to ask my FSIL!!

halfbaked Posted: Apr 02, 2012 04:11 PM

Re: dissapointed by a bridesmaid

Sounds like it was a mistake to put her in there in the first place. Trust me, you aren't the only one who made that mistake!

If you do plan to give her the boot, make sure you're okay with ending this friendship. Deserved or not, she's going to be pisssssssed! But as long as you're okay with it, I probably would ask her to step down. You'll be saving yourself (and the rest of your BP) a lot of headaches!

And ITA with the pp, weddings bring out the crazy in people!

Tricia1230 Posted: Apr 02, 2012 04:15 PM

Re: dissapointed by a bridesmaid

The funny part is I texted her n told her I decided to give her the boot and she didn't even reply to that. When I think about it She seemed more interested in the party part of it all. I've chose to worry about me on my day as should every bride.

pixietina Posted: Apr 02, 2012 05:00 PM

Re: dissapointed by a bridesmaid

Stuff like that happens. You get to see who your real friends on. Just dump them and move on.

Kristin31613 Posted: Apr 02, 2012 07:30 PM

Re: dissapointed by a bridesmaid

dawnbon26 Posted: Apr 02, 2012 07:54 PM

Re: dissapointed by a bridesmaid

sorry that you have to deal with this crap

Karrie D Posted: Apr 03, 2012 01:28 PM

Re: dissapointed by a bridesmaid

sorry you have to deal with this non-sense!!

Beautyconsultantbk Posted: Apr 03, 2012 01:35 PM

Re: dissapointed by a bridesmaid

the problem is a lot of people think being a bridesmaid means to just be there at the wedding and look pretty. they dont realize it is a fiancial and emotional responsiblity not just to the wedding but to the bride. and if you are unreliable you dont belong up there. so i agree with you. did you kick her out? what did she say?
heres another problem lets assumeshe did send you the $ this week she still has to worry about hair makeup shoes your shower your bach party etc. so if she cant handle a dress forget everything else

Tricia1230 Posted: Apr 03, 2012 01:41 PM

Re: dissapointed by a bridesmaid

Yes I did kick her out because again she mad a bunch of excuses. Luckily I have a bridesmaid who hasn't ordered her dress yet cuz she was trying to lose weight after a recent pregnancy so the store is allowing me to exchange the size. Problem is this girl has the dress and stopped answering me so now I'm dealing with this. People really piss me off cuz they think of it as a party to hang out n drink for free instead of someones wedding. Its just not right and no she never considered any other costs. Before she became a bridesmaid I told her I'm not trying to be greedy but there are expenses its just not you gettin pretty for a day. Apparently she doesn't care. I've been sending messages since last night and no answer. Now I understand why bridezillas exist.