dissapointed w/ church

FH and I have 2 daughters, ages 5 and 6(we were young parents)

Anyways, they are flowergirls for our wedding, so I just called the church to see if we could incorporate them into our service a little bit more then being just flowergirls(ex: lighting unity candle with us etc etc)

the priest was talking to me like I was an idiot for asking him this-he said that they can only be flowergirls, they can hold the flower baskets and be in pictures-but that is it. BUT it's just the way he said it...

Does anyone else have suggestions on how we can make them more then flowergirls? FH and I already bought them a family medallion and all so..


any feedback would be appreciated-
thanks

I was MOH in a wedding in which the groom's children were all in the wedding party and they also brought up the gifts.

Maybe you can do more with them at the reception -- special family dances or something like that.

it's in a catholic church and no, it's not my church-
my church gave us such a hard time about getting married there because we had children out of wedlock-that FH and I had to become members of another church.

it's just the wedding service-not a mass.

I guess I'm just dissapointed.

Maybe they could walk your FH down the aisle. . . do they have a special song that is meaningful to them? Maybe they could walk down the aisle to special music?

If you're having a program, maybe you could have a page dedicated solely to them? Include a photo and a message to them from you and FH?

I know you already gave them medallions. Could you extend your vows to also include vows to them. Something like,

'We, your mother and father, promise to raise you, name and name, in a warm and loving home'.

'We promise to encourage you to be the best in all you do.'

'We promise to cheer you when you succeed and help you pick yourself up when you fall'

'We promise to give you all you need in order to grow into strong, loving, caring adults.'

'Most of all, we hope, that as a family, we may be a model of God's love to the world'

How about running a few lines like that by the priest?
You could invite them up to the altar after you said your vows to one another and before the kiss.

Then you could say the vows to your children.

The priest could have you kiss, then you could kiss and hug the girls.

Then the priest could introduce you as 'man and wife' and as the Jones family.

I think this would be so touching and memorable. Maybe if you explained to the priest how you know it is not normally done but how, even though the girls were born out of wedlock, you feel they are a true gift from God and that you are so thankful for them you see each other joining as a family and not just man and wife.

I would emphasize the God part and how even though things didn't happen as the church would want, you understand God has forgiven you (as HE foirgave the Prodigal son... hahaha... that's the lesson from the scriptures right back at them) and that you hope your family is accepted by the church and God. You would like to include them in the ceremony so you as a family can be an example and a beacon (wow, they always used the words 'beacon of God's love in my old church) of God's love to his people.

WOW, 13 years of Catholic school and an Irish background... I must have a bit of priest in me. I'm just turning the tables on them

Good luck.

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Posted by marc_rai

David bride I LOVE IT!! Yes, agree with everything she said!

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ditto her ditto.

WHy won't the priest let them bring up the gifts?? I thought it was your choice who to ask do that???

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Posted by suezboss

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Posted by marc_rai

David bride I LOVE IT!! Yes, agree with everything she said!

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ditto her ditto.

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Ditto again!!!

Double, Double Ditto
Perfect solution David's Bride!

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Posted by adioguardi

Double, Double Ditto
Perfect solution David's Bride!

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I think what David's Bride said was beautiful - but I m not sure if a Catholic Church is going to go for it.

If you want to encorporate your kids - I saw something great at Denise's wedding this weekend. The Flower girl went up with her dad, who was doing a reading, and she read a little too.