Divorced Parents-Problem FOB

Hi All,

My parents are divorced and my dad hates my mom. he is the one who is paying for the majority of the costs and he is driving me crazy. he keeps bashing my mom and is so non-commital when it comes to deposits for services. He was in town for my eparty this July and we talked ever so briefly about wedding and budget. he is so touchy. Now that things are in full swing, I gave him a budget and everything that I think is reasonable, he picks apart. He thinks limos are unnecessary because he doesn't like them.

To add to the dilemma, he lives out of the country and it is really hard to communicate with him. it is so expensive to call and we always wind up arguing anyway.

Anybody have any advice? I feel like I am going nuts.

Hi,

That's tough! My parents are divorced also, but my mom and my fmil are splitting the wedding. I am very lucky in that respect. I don't really talk to my dad all that much, although my dilemma is whether or not to tell him about the wedding.

Maybe you can lay it on the line with your dad. This is your wedding, not his, eventhough he is paying for a bulk of it. You need to be happy with the decisions being made. Compromise is a wonderful thing. Maybe you can convince your dad to pay for half of the limo and maybe you can pick up the rest, if he is so resistant to renting them...

I hope this helps a little...

Thanks. I tried going a similar route with him. I told him to tell me what he thought was reasonable and then we could try and find a middle ground but he got touchy about that for whatever reason. I just keep trying to please him and for whatever reason he is being a pain because he can be.

You are definitely very lucky. I actually haven't spoken to my FIL about contributing. I am actually kind of nervous about approaching them with the subject. I think my FI should ask them. Right?

I think that you should tell your dad, even though you don't talk much. be the bigger person and if he wants to come then he can share in your joy but if he chooses not to then its his loss.

parents, can't live with em and can't live without em!!!

its definetly more of a challenge with divorced parents.....my parents have been divorced a loooong time, and i still sometimes have nightmares about them fighting at my wedding!!!
i think the best thing for you is to keep communicating with your dad....i think sometimes weddings (while a very happy time) may bring up some old memories with divorced parents...like i know my parentst are so happy for me, but at the same point, its hard for them to celebrate this together! Good luck!

yes. It is definately not easy. i would let your FH broach the subject with his parents if he feels comfortable with it. Perhaps this would elievate (sp?) some problems with your dad if the pressure of giving so much monetarially were taken off..i dunno, just a thought...My mom and my fmil were discussing the wedding and who is going to pay for what when Justin and I were just dating but talking about marriage.

as for my father, i think you are right...i don't even know if he would come...