Okay, so a little background. My mom is broke, my bridal party is broke (and out of state), most of my friends and family live out of state, only about 25 live relatively close by. My mom has made no mention of throwing a shower and my MOH says if I want one just ask.
FMIL threw us an awesome engagement party at her house a few months ago, mostly her friends though. We got a few gifts which was nice.
FH told me that FMIL had asked if I wanted a shower and he told her that he didn’t think so since this was a 2nd wedding and that goes against etiquette.
Yes this is a 2nd wedding, but my 1st wedding was straight out of high school, planned in 2 weeks (not even by me), and I never had a shower or got to do any of the fun wedding related stuff.
Do I just leave it be since FMIL has done so much already? Or do I ask my MOH to try to see if she can hint to FMIL that I actually do want a shower and see if she can plan something with her and my mom as well? I feel like that is so selfish and would put too much pressure on the girls who are struggling to pay for their dresses. My mom wouldn’t be able to contribute either….
Ugh, help. What do I do?
NikkiB0401
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Re: Do I ask for a shower or no?
I wouldn't ask for it. If someone is willing to give you one than so be it but its not something you are entitled to. I have a similar issue with my family minus the first marriage piece.
AudioLoveStory
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Re: Do I ask for a shower or no?
That's what I thought. Still makes me sad though.
DCgirl82
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Re: Do I ask for a shower or no?
I don't think I would ask for one. Im in the 'If I have one I have one and if I don't I don't' kinda mindframe LoL! Maybe u can just mention to FH that you would have really loved one and see what he says??? Maybe he will tell a few people
AudioLoveStory
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Re: Do I ask for a shower or no?
Posted by DCgirl82
I don't think I would ask for one. Im in the 'If I have one I have one and if I don't I don't' kinda mindframe LoL! Maybe u can just mention to FH that you would have really loved one and see what he says??? Maybe he will tell a few people
I smacked FH upside the head when he told me that he told her I didn't want a shower. Does that count? lol
NikkiB0401
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Re: Do I ask for a shower or no?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I would have done the same!!
SoonToBeMrsCali
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Re: Do I ask for a shower or no?
Yea, just take the mentality that you may not get one...but I feel :( that you want one and may not get one...
maybe have MOH or FH hint around...
squeeky126
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Re: Do I ask for a shower or no?
That stinks! I am going to pray that you get one...cause you do deserve it!
RandEWedding2011
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Re: Do I ask for a shower or no?
I think you should tell your FH to resind his comment to you FMIL and hint to have her call you MOH and mom to make sure veryone feels involved! You deserve a shower u gotta put with the man right
Jesebelle
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Re: Do I ask for a shower or no?
You should get those hints out there! Let FH and MOH tell FMIL that you never got a shower the first time, and they didn't realize that, or something. I think it's perfectly fine and dandy to hint since someone already spoke for you when they should have asked you first. It doesn't have to be grand, they could throw you something small in someone's house. I want a shower, and I think everyone knows it. I already told them the month I want it in. No harm in letting people know what you want!
HopelessRomantic
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Re: Do I ask for a shower or no?
Posted by NikkiB0401
I wouldn't ask for it. If someone is willing to give you one than so be it but its not something you are entitled to. I have a similar issue with my family minus the first marriage piece.
im in the same boat as you.. i was thinking of asking but i dont think its going to be a great idea..everyone is stressed out to the max about $$$
