Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

Rodiah Posted: Mar 27, 2007 11:45 PM

Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

This is a dumb question but do I get my parents a gift if my FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves??

His mom is contributing but my parents...

So I am getting his mom a gift.. but... isn't the gift a thank you for paying for the wedding or is it a thank you for 'being born' type thing.. LMAO??
???

gaccrrm Posted: Mar 27, 2007 11:47 PM

Re: Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

IMO our parents brought us into this world and they are the only reason we have life. We are paying for our wedding ourselves and are going to give gifts to our parents. I know that if our parents were in a better financial situation they would give us the world. Like I said it is JMO.

Rodiah Posted: Mar 27, 2007 11:51 PM

Re: Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

yeah.. that's the thing.. my parents have it, they are selfish, they actually have it more than his mom...

I showed my mom the Swan Club brochure when I first booked and she said;

'I guess this is going to be a thing huh, I guess I should get a dress'

I guess I will get it out of respect of whatever..

or maybe I will just give them each a big ol lump of coal!

LMAO...

gaccrrm Posted: Mar 27, 2007 11:55 PM

Re: Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

Posted by Rodiah

yeah.. that's the thing.. my parents have it, they are selfish, they actually have it more than his mom...

I showed my mom the Swan Club brochure when I first booked and she said;

'I guess this is going to be a thing huh, I guess I should get a dress'

I guess I will get it out of respect of whatever..

or maybe I will just give them each a big ol lump of coal!

LMAO...

I can totally see where you are coming from. This is a really tough situation. The best advice I can give is go with your heart. You will know what the right thing to do is.

chatxleau24 Posted: Mar 28, 2007 12:36 AM

Re: Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

i disagree! a gift for saying thanks for having me?? you're existence is your thanks for that!! the fact that you are a beautiful woman who is strong is thanks for that!!!

Why buy them a gift - if they won't help you (when capable) to throw a party on behalf of you finding your soul mate?!?!? Anyway arent you paying for their meal at the reception?

Buy yourself a gift!

portjeffbride Posted: Mar 28, 2007 12:42 AM

Re: Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

well, if I were you I'm not sure what I would do...

To me, it's not whether or not they're paying necessarily, it's more their attitude.... and it doesn't sound like they're excited for you, or very supportive.... so I'd be debating things just as you are....

pretty nasty to say 'I guess this will be a thing, and I should get a dress'... that alone would make me lean towards no gift...

Rodiah Posted: Mar 30, 2007 12:09 AM

Re: Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

Posted by chatxleau24

i disagree! a gift for saying thanks for having me?? you're existence is your thanks for that!! the fact that you are a beautiful woman who is strong is thanks for that!!!

Why buy them a gift - if they won't help you (when capable) to throw a party on behalf of you finding your soul mate?!?!? Anyway arent you paying for their meal at the reception?

Buy yourself a gift!

Haaa! I agree...

Imma buy myself something nice!

BrideInBlue Posted: Mar 30, 2007 07:32 AM

Re: Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

My situation is the opposite. My parents are paying for almost everything even though they dont have that much and his parents who have the money to help are not giving anything. For gifts we are giving his parents their parent album and they should be happy we give them that since it is an expense we could have skipped, and my parents will get their album and a Thank You gift.

enjft Posted: Mar 30, 2007 07:42 AM

Re: Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

We are paying for the wedding ourselves but we still plan to buy the parents something.

acsm Posted: Mar 30, 2007 10:53 AM

Re: Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

we'll be giving gifts to both sets.. the parent albums and an 8x10 of us in a nice frame, once the pics come in...

but other things as well.. not sure what yet!! my parents esp my mom has been helping me thru this even though we are paying it for ourselves.. visitng vendors, helping pick out dress, invites and so on...

just a thanks for dealing with me and any issues!!

kns11 Posted: Apr 01, 2007 12:14 PM

Re: Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

Posted by Rodiah

Posted by chatxleau24

i disagree! a gift for saying thanks for having me?? you're existence is your thanks for that!! the fact that you are a beautiful woman who is strong is thanks for that!!!

Why buy them a gift - if they won't help you (when capable) to throw a party on behalf of you finding your soul mate?!?!? Anyway arent you paying for their meal at the reception?

Buy yourself a gift!

Haaa! I agree...

Imma buy myself something nice!

Certainly agree you should buy yourself something nice. As far as your mother is concerned I'm sorry she is not being as supportive or as enthusiastic as you would like her to be.

I recommend staying true to who you are. Putting aside her comments...would you want to get her a gift? If the answer is yes then do it. Throughout this wedding planning your going to be thrown a lot of balls of disappointment. It's how fast you catch them and how quickly you release them that matters. It is easier said than done I know. Sometime being nice and pleasant can be contagious. Best of luck

sarahthegreat Posted: Apr 01, 2007 12:57 PM

Re: Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

we did not give either parents gifts. we paid for the parents albums and that was their gift. although i did pay for my mom's hair and make up for day of, as a thank you for paying for my dress.

daniebc16 Posted: Apr 01, 2007 12:58 PM

Re: Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

OK....so what are proper gifts to give the parents??

Christys0925 Posted: Apr 01, 2007 01:10 PM

Re: Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

We ar epaying ourselves. But getting parnets and grandparents gift anyway !!!!!

AeroJenn Posted: Apr 01, 2007 02:05 PM

Re: Do I give my parents a gift if they are not paying for the wedding?

FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves also. My parents are not contributing. I dont have the best relationship with my dad -- as a matter of fact, we really dont get along well most of the time. However, I still got both parents a small gift (nothing crazy...no more than $75 per parent). IMO, although you may not get along great with them, they still brought you into this world and brought you up. They taught you a lot of what you know today and if it werent for them, you wouldnt be where you are today. A small thankyou gift isnt very much to do and if anything, it'll make you the bigger person. JMO.