there were 4 of us, best best friends all growing up...3 of us went away to college, one did not. I am still close with one-she is a bm and the other two are still close.
when we went away to college it all kind of fell apart... we barely talk..she also moved far away... well one is getting married. i didnt think i would be invited to the wedding and i just got a shower invite..so I am obviously...
OHHH - she also knows I am engaged since DEC (she mentioned it in a mass email when asking for our addresses-which didnt even come to me it was forwarded to me by my bM because she emailed it to the address i used 2 years ago) SHE NEVER Called me to say ANYTHING regarding my engagement
needless to say I dont know if i want to go to the wedding... what would you do???
(I am already making vendor appts the day of her shower, since i am planning from out of state there are not many weekends i can get to LI so i dont think i am going to the shower...i will send a gift through the mail to her aunts house)
cindyandkevin
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
Hmm, hard to figure this one out. I'd say if you want to see your friend and celebrate in her happiness then go. Don't let her behavior get in the way of rekindling a friendship that you'd like to see get back on track. It's ok not to go to the shower, explain in the rsvp why. Be the bigger person and enjoy yourself! You never know, you might pick up some good ideas that you can steal!
LaurenluvsTJ
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
If you can't make the shower, then I wouldn't feel obligated. However, it might be really nice for you to go to the wedding. A lot of friendships fall to the wayside after school because of all different reasons, and celebrations such as weddings are a wonderful occassion to bring them back.
Robin404
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
I wouldn't go.
csorisi
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
I was in a similar situation last summer--I hadn't spoken to a girl that I was really good friends with as a child--we were friends through high school too but not as close as we had been. Last summer she got married and to my suprise I was invited to the shower & the wedding--honestly I am not even close with anyone really from high school so it was odd that I was invited. I went--but that is b/c I was honored that she invited me. If you are busy the day of the shower then don't go to the shower--but if you want & can maybe you should go to the wedding especially since your other girlfriends will be there. I ended up not going to this girl's shower b/c I had play tickets for that day but I did go to the wedding.
july06bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
i guess I am just so hurt that she hasnt acknowleged my engagement that it is in the back of my head...
please, keep the opinions coming...
DottieMcHugh
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
IMO, I wouldnt go either.
12-3Princess
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
Posted by Robin404
I wouldn't go.
DITTO. Unless she's worth it and a good person you want in your life.
psf80
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
Posted by july06bride
i guess I am just so hurt that she hasnt acknowleged my engagement that it is in the back of my head...
please, keep the opinions coming...
The fact that she hasn't acknowledged your engagement, to me, indicates that she's not really a friend. I think you need to figure out whether you want this person in your life. It doesn't sound like this is a positive, supportive person. I wouldn't go.
july06bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
If i dont go, should I still send a gift? shower too??
Robin404
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
No way! You're too nice! She didn't acknowledge you, don't acknowledge the invitation. Had she called you for the correct email address and you had a conversation maybe, but she obviously didn't care enough to pick up the phone to congratulate you or get your email address.
newnybride2be
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
I wouldnt go and I prob wouldnt send a gift either, especially since it seems to me that you guys seem to have the relationship of acquaintances. She hasnt acknowledged your engagement and it doesnt seem like you are close to her at all anymore.
Marisa M
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
I WAS going to say I would go, until I read that she did not even acknowledge your engagement. - Friends always drift apart........and some of them remain the type of friends you can not see for a year and when you DO see them, it's like yesterday........but a person that doesn't even pick up the phone when she hears an old friend got engaged..........IMO is no longer a friend at all
Mrs. dleeny
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
I was in a similar situation several yrs ago.
I didn't attend the shower or the wedding.
nylibride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
I think it's so individual. I fell out of touch with person I had been friends with since we were 12. I missed her wedding during that time We managed to reconnect by bumping into each other in a deli (random!) right before my PhD graduation. I invited her to come to a grad party and to my surprise, she actually did come! since then, I've been to her baby shower, she is coming to my shower/wedding. A random encounter and invite to an important event, even though we had fallen out of touch, was what brought us back together. If you hope to rekindle the friendship then go for it! If you just feel like it's some sort of obligation, forget it.
Either way, please rsvp to the invite. Think about how you'd feel in reverse when people just don't respond at all...
buggiegirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
I wouldn't go to the shower or the wedding- not to be snotty, but my time is far too valuable to waste on someone who doesn't care about me!!!
I would probably just send a token gift to be nice- like a $50 gift card to bbb or something...JMO
july06bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
here's an update:
I got the email forwarded to me, and decided to write 'S' and give her the info she requested...my fhs last name (we have been dating 5 years-ok she doesnt know, whatever)
'S' writes me back..says he i meant to call you to say congrats ..so hows the planning..It was a very abrupt email asking me but i could tell not really caring.., I will respond NO to the shower- send a small gift and I will wait and see what happens with wedding. it is not for a few months, if she decides to be a friend in the next few months we will see...
what do you think
lullabella
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
I think if the friendship meant something to you then you should look at this as an opportunity to reconnect. Whether you call her or she calls you. I guess I am not the kind of person who would wait and see how she acts. If I wanted to reconnect I would make an attempt too and if she flaked out then that would be the end of it.
ChrissynRicky
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
Don't go - send a gift.
VogueBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do I Go? (LONG)
i think it might be nice to attend....if anything i wouldnt feel too wierd about being invited...maybe she is just trying to fix things up a bit....and didnt know how else to do it
