im getting nervous about my chioce for maid of honor. my MOH is my best friend since early high school. she is selfish and really into herself, but she is my best friend and i couldnt imagine anybody else as my MOH.anyway..... i asked her to come over and help with the invitations for the engagment party- just stufffing them. i told her we would make it fun and make martinis. anyway, she never called to cancel and never showed up and acted like this event never happened. normally i wouldnt care, but can i trust her to look out for things and take on a responsibility like this at my wedding? am i overreacting or is this a hint of what her attitude will be like for my wedding.
Sunny
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
That stinks! I am sorry that happened to you! Did you ask her why she didn't show?
nrvbrd
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
This seems like the beginning of trouble.
If I were in this position I would re think my decision.
dbcrosby
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
the reason why she didnt show up is because she went to dinner with her parents- but we first started stuffing the envelopes at 9:30 at night. she could have called to show she cares. im just nervous she wont be there for me at the wedding.
Sunny
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
I think it depends what kind of friend she normally is- does she usually do things like this even when it is not wedding related? If she does, then you already know what kind of person she is and what to expect.
jennbaby
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
I'd be pis sed off! Have you spoken to her, if so what did she say?!
dbcrosby
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
she is hard to understand, she was always into herself more than others- including me. i was nervous about asking her but there is nobody that im closer with that i would want as the role. the more i think about it, the more nervous im getting. i will call her later to talk about it though. thanks for listening and giving me advice. i knew only other brides would understand
dlh76
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
That really stinks.. If I was you rethink about her beeing you MOH. my MOH drop out of my wedding ( 2months befor it). Becasue of some problems w/ the shower and someone lying to her and calling and saying lyes. But I guess this is when you find out who your true friends are. But really make sure you are asking the right person befor it is to late. I never thought this would happen to me.
sonia
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
if this is the only time shes flaked on something wedding related ,i would just try to ignore it. if its not though definitely bring it up with her nicely. just let her know WHY you picked her to be MOH and what u expect of her.
Valenia
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
It sounds to me like you knew what she would be like, and chose her anyway because you love her. That being the case, I say ignore it and don't depend on anything but her friendship and presence. If you don't have one, hire a day of bridal attendant and don't depend on your MOH for free labor.
princess99
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
I would sit down and talk to her, whether on the phone, e mail, in person or write her a letter and tell her how u feel, do not try to be *****y, just tell her exactly what u told us, then give her your feelings on how u feel about her and the wedding, then make your decision. Good luck!
WishCandy
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
you definitely need to nip this crap in the bud right now - before it's too late
DrmnBlnd
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It does sound like the beginning of trouble....I think I would be very careful with her after this...
Fran M
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
It sounds like you really want her to be your MOH. While what she did was out of line - she could have at least called or just said she didnt want to stuff env. with you when you asked her, you know her and how she is.
Be Realistic in Your Expectations of Her. What do you really expect her involvement to be? If it's just moral support you're probably fine. If you expect her to roll up her sleeves and do some work with you, well that might be another story.
We all have to keep in mind that our weddings are a very very big event in life but for even some of our nearest and dearest its just another wedding.
Jen2704
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I would sit down and have a serious talk with her....but I would think this decision over.
Thrilled
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
I say ditch her.
It's YOUR day, not HERS, ands that's the end of the story. Period. Ask your Mom or someone to stand in for you, if that's a possibility.
kmcwed
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
Hi db,
I sent you forum mail. But briefly, I think she needs to be spoken with (nicely) about her behavior. I also think she's displaying signs of not being the friend you want her to be. Re-think your decision. Her reaction to your discussion will help you make up your mind.
KarenM
112903
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Re: do i have the right to be upset?
I am sorry to hear that I would totally talk to her about it. You still have time to alter your decision.... Don't worry everything will work itself out.
