So we are breaking the glass for my parents (jewish tradition even though both FH and I are agnostic) and FILs want us to give confetti (jordan almonds) with the favors as an Italian custom. Do I then have to include an Italian/Catholic tradition to the ceremony, and include some kind of fun jewish tradition for the reception? Keep in mind we are both agnostic, but want to bring in cultural traditions to make both families happy.
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: Do I have to match custom for custom?
Italian and Jewish brides, please post any cultural (not religious) customs that you can think of. Thanks!
LFitzy79
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Re: Do I have to match custom for custom?
I don't think it's tit for tat
I would take each tradition individually, and not try to even it out with something on the other spectrum....
july06bride
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Re: Do I have to match custom for custom?
I dont think it is necessary, but if you wanted to...you could do the unity candle which is not a religious symbol, but is used in the church, or I love the hands ceremony- which is a prayer of some sort in essence- not religious either though...the sand ceremony- very similar to a unity candle but with sand
BlondeJD
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Re: Do I have to match custom for custom?
I can't offer any Jewish/Italian customs, but I don't think you need to match custom for custom. It's just whatever you want to add - I think even if you just have the glass breaking and the Jordan almonds, that would be fine
glinda_goodwitch
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Thanks girls.
BKtoLI
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We're also doing the breaking of the glass, but doing the unity candle and drinking of the wine, and having some readings.
We're trying to balance it out, but I think the chuppah makes it more defineably Jewish!
carlsbride
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Re: Do I have to match custom for custom?
I know there is an Italian tradition to dance the taratella (sp??) which I think is similar to a Jewish dance that is done at weddings - you can incorporate that. I think it is nice you are trying to incorporate both your families traditions. I wouldn't say you have to match custom for custom-just do what you are comfortable with and have fun!
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: Do I have to match custom for custom?
Posted by BKtoLI
We're also doing the breaking of the glass, but doing the unity candle and drinking of the wine, and having some readings.
We're trying to balance it out, but I think the chuppah makes it more defineably Jewish!
We're having it too, at JT, but it's a canopy. I refuse to call it a chuppah because we're having a civil ceremony with CULTURAL traditions. FH and I are strongly agnostic and FH is slowly sliding past the line between agnostic and atheist
cindyandkevin
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Re: Do I have to match custom for custom?
I think you're fine Beth, no need to do anything else. It's very nice that you're incorporating both cultures for your families, I think it's just enough esp since you're both agnostic.
BHW
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Re: Do I have to match custom for custom?
I don't think you need to match custom for custom, but if you want, you can always do the hora at the reception. Most Jewish weddings have the hora. After DH, his family, and friends gathered in a circle and all danced, someone even commented to my mom that she didn't realize they were all Jewish. They're not. I think DH's family had more fun than our family with the hora.
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: Do I have to match custom for custom?
Posted by BHW
I don't think you need to match custom for custom, but if you want, you can always do the hora at the reception. Most Jewish weddings have the hora. After DH, his family, and friends gathered in a circle and all danced, someone even commented to my mom that she didn't realize they were all Jewish. They're not. I think DH's family had more fun than our family with the hora.
ohhhhhh, I don't really want the hora at our wedding. It's just not our style. Plus, I accidentally broke my cousin's bustle during the hora at her wedding
oooooooh, but that reminds me, I do want the italian waltz at our wedding because it's soooooo nice. It's too bad FH's grandparents, and older relatives aren't in the best condition to dance like they used to
marymoon
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Re: Do I have to match custom for custom?
I'm italian, FH is Jewish...Some of these are religious but I'll list some of my ideas
Ceremony: We're having a chuppah, break glass, unity candle, ketubah, priest and rabbi. We found a jewish verse to say during the untiy cnadle so that we cna incorporate both traditions in it
It's important to both of us that there is a blanace. I don't think you need to go one for one...but it can be a sensitive issue for families so it's best to make it appear balanced.
Reception: Christmas tree and we will light the menorah hora and tarantella small favors relating to hanukkah AND christmas we'll have a catholic anda jewish prayer before dinner, etc
Good Luck
(it's a little different for us because we're both somewhat religious and also into the other's religion, so WE want to do these things)
