Do I really need a...

Bridal Party?? I've told my MOH weeks ago that we need to get on the ball regarding the her dress as well as the BM's dresses... so I made an appt. this SUnday of which she knew about weeks ago and I spoke to her this a.m. and now she can't make b/c she won Mets tickets for this sunday... mind you the first time we made an attempt to go shopping she calls me at 1pm to tell she's getting on the train to meet me and another BM... hello the appt. was scheduled for 1pm..it would've taken at least 45mins-1hr to get the salon! which means she would've gotten there around 2pm....

Maybe I could have my mom as my MOH and cancel the entire BP thing.. I guess I could help with planning the Bridal Shower..I don't know anymore... all the other BM's really don't care either.. so maybe if I canceled the BP maybe they care then too!

sorry for the long post.. but this vent is over!

But tell me if it would be wrong for me to help my mom plan my bridal shower??

I don't blame you for being upset. Your MOH was wrong the last time when you had an appt. at 1 and she was just getting on the train at that time. It's up to you if you really want a bridal party. I know that when my sister in law got married, i was her MOH and I was the only one in the wedding party and my brother only had a best man. It is really your call with what you want to do. Was your MOH always lax about things like this in the past? My MOH is pregnant and she has 2 kids so she really is not around for most of my planning but my BM (another best friend) has been helping me out like crazy. I guess I should consider myself lucky.

About your bridal shower. I really don't know what to say. Don't you want to be surpised? I know my future sister-in-law helped her mom plan her shower b/c she did not want to be surprised. It is really your call for everything. I am sorry you are going through this with your friends.

Have you tried telling them how you feel? Maybe if you tell them, they will understand and try to be more considerate.

Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.

I suggest you sit down with your MOH and BMs (either all together or separately, whichever is easiest) and tell them how you feel. They have to understand that you have to order these dresses and you need their cooperation to do so. They were given the choice to be in your BP and by accepting they have to realize that you're going to need them for certain things.

Many brides don't have a BP so no you don't HAVE to, but I wouldn't call them off just yet either. Give them an opportunity to redeem themselves and take it from there. As for your bridal shower, your mom might not want your help; she might want to make it a surprise for you. So sit down with her too and get her feelings on it. Some brides do a lot of the planning for their own showers so there's nothing wrong with that if you and your mom are ok with it.

Good luck!!

SOmetimes its hard for people to see past their own lives - but if they said yes when you asked them to be in BPthen they made a comittment to do certain things. So tell them your feelings.

If they are really so busy - then pick a dress without them. If they complain, then too bad.

I only had 1 MOH... so no problems. It can be ANYONE.

My MOH used her 'brother' to be the Man of Honor when she got married.

No. You do not need a bridal party. I only suggest you have one if you really want to.

I originally wasn't going to have a bp, then I was guilted into it. I finally came to my senses and realized that it was something I didn't want to deal with at all and that it would cause me unnecessary stress , so I kicked everybody out.

You're going to hear 'Oh, you have to have a bridal party!' from everyone in the world. You might even get looks of sympathy from people that assume you don't have any friends or family. Be prepared.

FM me if you need any advice. Good luck.

I am sorry this is happening. It sounds like she was very insensitive last time you tried to go shopping. I can understand why she is unable to attend this time. i know it is frustrating to have someone brush you off as though you are not important but this weekend is a viable reason. she should have contacted you as soon as she won but some people are insensitive.

My suggestion is to go shopping as planned without her. Take the rest of your BP and have fun. Her inability to attend either date set is not a reason to put all the other girls out. Plans were already set so I say follow through with them.

i'd be upset too! i'd definitely have a talk with your MOH & BMs and ask if they really want to be in the wedding...and that it's okay if they don't!

i am totally going against the norm--i have an uneven small bp. 1 MOH, 1 BM, 1 BestM and 2 GM's!

you can do whatever you want!

what's sad is for everyone that's in my BP.. when they had their b-day's,engagements,housewarmings, kids parties, baby showers...etc.. I was there front and center out with my lending hand.. looking for duties to help out with... and I rarely ask anyone for any help... and these people put themselves in my BP w/out me even askiing them and this how they treat me...

My mom has already given me the money to pay for the hall.. all they have to do give it to them and sign the contract and split the cooking in 6 ways!... I don't know anymore...I quit smoking 2 & 1/2 yrs. ago and on my lunch break I went out and bought a pack of cigs from being so down and stressed out with everything.

but thank you all for giving me your input.. I really needed it...although I might take the advice that was given in this thread and just talk to everyone.. and see where there are when the convo is over...