So I have been looking for shoes for my girls for awhile trying to keep all of the requests in mine, some dont want heels bc they are tall already others cant walked in thin heels and so on and so on. SO i finally find a great shoe, it comes in 3 heel sizes so it meets everyones needs. So the place I found is equal distance between all of the girls and they offer free dyeing and 10% off group discount. I told all of my girls where the shoe is and also mention that this place had the best price bc i called all over looking for the best price. Well one girl takes it upon herself to go somewhere else and now my other girls cannot get the discount. I am annoyed because i think she is being very inconsiderate toward the other girls. I have been far from a 'bridzilla' always keeping money issues in mind and trying to find the best deal and then she goes and ruins it for everyone else. Im sorry this is so long but I am really annoyed at this lack of consideration toward the other girls and dont know if I am right to be a little mad by it. What do you girls think?
Preshy7
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Re: Do think I am wrong to be a bit annoyed?
well i think its not right of her to go off without asking you- but why cant the other girls still get the discount at your place?
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: Do think I am wrong to be a bit annoyed?
to be honest with you, every wedding I was in (4x MOH) the bride let me get the shoes wherever I wanted - which was Payless. Why spend more? no one sees them anyway.
IMO, let them get what they want and just ask they be no higher than __ '
civic24ex
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they cant get the discount because it needed to be 6 or more so now I only have 5. I asked on more than one occasion to help me look for shoes and she is the only one that said Oh whatever you like is fine with me just tell me where to go. So to me that means find the shoes and let me know where it is and I will get it. Its the same price and everythign so what was the difference of just getting it at the place I suggested. I am not annoyed bc she went off and did it without telling me I am annoyed bc they all agreed before I went back to the place to give the list of the girls in the bp and then she went in a different direction and now the other girls dont get the discount. I dont know maybe I am wrong but it annoys me a bit. Dont tell me one thing and then do another.
jcdesignz
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honestly, i never understood why some brides tell their girls what shoes 'they have to buy' - i think it is kinda bridezilla . in my opinion - bridesmaids should pick whatever shoes that they like and then all have them dyed together at the same place so they are all the exact same color
why does it matter if their shoes match exactly....asm long as they all perfectly match the dress and all teh girls have shoes that they think or beuatiful and are most comfortable on them......
underneath a bm dress you never really see the shoe style anyway - just the color of them
D&C
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Let them buy whatever shoes they want. As long as they are all died at the same time and place they will match. That is what my ladies are doing.
I hated the time I was in a BP and HAD to get the same $60 shoes as everyone else. I threw them in the trash at the damn reception hall at the end of the night and went home in socks. I hated them
nov04LIbride
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Re: Do think I am wrong to be a bit annoyed?
Posted by jcdesignz
honestly, i never understood why some brides tell their girls what shoes 'they have to buy' - i think it is kinda bridezilla . in my opinion - bridesmaids should pick whatever shoes that they like and then all have them dyed together at the same place so they are all the exact same color
why does it matter if their shoes match exactly....asm long as they all perfectly match the dress and all teh girls have shoes that they think or beuatiful and are most comfortable on them......
underneath a bm dress you never really see the shoe style anyway - just the color of them
I totally agree. Honestly, you can't even see their shoes in any pics. unless the dresses are tea-length. To me if you pick the color you want, that's enough, then let them pick the shoes that are most comfortable. Who wants to be stuck in uncomfortable shoes all night?
dpli
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Honestly? I don't think I would spend this much time and energy on BM shoes. I don't think the other girls are going to get too upset by missing out on the discount and if they all are dyed to match the dresses, it really doesn't matter.
I realize you spent time on this and it stinks that she is disregarding that, but believe me, if this is the worst it has gotten with BMs, consider yourself lucky.
civic24ex
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Yea im over it. She has just been difficult from the very beginning. One minute she is the wedding the next she backs out then she thinks about it again and decides she wants to be in it again. She never has anything nice to say about one of my other girls. This is all prior to the shoe thing. I dont know, AF is coming, my wedding is in 36 days and she hasnt gone for a fitting yet and hasnt made an attempt to make an appt so its frustrating. But like i said im over and dont care what shoes she get or where she gets them as long as she gets them dyed the right color at the place she bought them.
MrsJ
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Re: Do think I am wrong to be a bit annoyed?
That really s u c k s that the one BM went someplace else.
I just told my girls 'I dont care what your shoes look like as long as they are dyed to match the dress'
eogara
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I guess it depends what you're really annoyed about. I'd say that if you're annoyed she just disregarded the 'plan' without telling you, yes, that's completely reasonable.
But, I could see her being annoyed at being told what shoe to wear. That's just one part of the outfit that should be up to the BMs, IMO. Shoes are so important based on comfort, not look, since you won't really even see them in a dress. As long as they match the dress, who cares? If someone is looking at your BM's feet, then something's wrong with the wedding - no one is even going to notice!
BriBri529
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Posted by nov04LIbride
Posted by jcdesignz
honestly, i never understood why some brides tell their girls what shoes 'they have to buy' - i think it is kinda bridezilla . in my opinion - bridesmaids should pick whatever shoes that they like and then all have them dyed together at the same place so they are all the exact same color
why does it matter if their shoes match exactly....asm long as they all perfectly match the dress and all teh girls have shoes that they think or beuatiful and are most comfortable on them......
underneath a bm dress you never really see the shoe style anyway - just the color of them
I agree!
I totally agree. Honestly, you can't even see their shoes in any pics. unless the dresses are tea-length. To me if you pick the color you want, that's enough, then let them pick the shoes that are most comfortable. Who wants to be stuck in uncomfortable shoes all night?
jesslangen
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Re: Do think I am wrong to be a bit annoyed?
Well I understand why you are mad...its the principle nothing more nothing less.
IMO, I told the girls to get whatever shoe their hear desired AS LONG AS its white. I know they all have hteir own taste when it comes to open toe or not, or what type of heel etc. I couldn't be bothered with it. And, their dress will more than likely cover their feet anyway.
NYtherapist
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Re: Do think I am wrong to be a bit annoyed?
My bridesmaids can choose any heel they want, provided that it's closed-toe and dyeable. I've never been forced to wear a specific shoe in any of the bridal parties I've been in.
As far as the 10% discount: Unless we're talking $200 shoes (which I hope we're not), 10% isn't going to make or break anyone. If we're talking $75 shoes, the discount is only $7.50
It seems as though you're just stressed because the wedding is fast approaching. There's a wonderful book and the title applies in this case: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff :)
Goldi1021
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I would never wear a shoe I didnt like. So I would be a little annoyed if someone instructed me what to wear on my feet. JMO.
Princessmaris
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Well it seems as if the problem isnt that she didnt like the shoe...just that she went somewhere else... Is there a specific reason she went there??? Will this store do the same with a group discount?? Maybe all your girls could go there instead...esp. if the shoes are the same price.
I do agree with everyone...just let them but the shoes they are most comfortable in and have them dyed the same color.. I totally intend on doing the same with my girls...but thats not the issue here...right?
