Do you always agree with DH on parenting issues?

And if not, how do you resolve the disagreement?

For example one of you is more patient/lenient or more strict than the other?
But parent's have to represent unanimous opinion to a child, so how do you compromise?

Funny you asked that question. Like the old saying goes, kids don't come with instructions....

Well there are no instructions on how to 'deal' with your spouse when a new baby arrives into your life. I don't know if this was ever discussed but I had a really hard time with hubby when Mia was born.

We bickered about EVERYTHING there were times when I was ready to show him the door...alot of people don't admit to this adjustment period, but what seems to be a picture perfect situation...Mommy, Daddy and new baby isn't always as it seems.

Mia is now 6 months of age and I have to say we are almost back to normal..however there will always be arguements and disagreements about how to raise our daughter, BUT as long as he know's I'm the MOM and I out rank him. everything should be fine.

Is this as bad as during wedding planning? I am not sure that I can deal with a permanent wedding planning type of fighting.

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Posted by kptoys

Derek and I dont ALWAYS agree on what to do with Emma and how to treat certain situations but when one of us makes a decision the other goes along with it. I dont want Emma thinking that she has more control over one of us than the other. I like consistency

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What she said.

Usually we go with my decisions because I have more experience wth children, but we try to never contradict the other's doings.
I think this will be more important as Nicolas grows up.

This is an excellent question Alina

I too, am interested in hearing all opinions.

I already know that DH and I are going to have different styles of parenting. He came from a VERY strict household, where I think his mom coddled he and his brothers. I have told him there will be none of that with our children.

We have already discussed what we both will and will not tolerate, but it is hard to say what you will do when the children actually get here.

I just hope we can come to a good compromise.

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Posted by JennRenee


Usually we go with my decisions because I have more experience wth children, but we try to never contradict the other's doings.
I think this will be more important as Nicolas grows up.

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Same here, it doesn't however stop Steve from questioning some of my decisions. I have to remember just because I have so much experience it doesn't make his opinion any less important

It's an argument most parents get into. Being a SAHM I have this problem of wanting to be the one who disciplines the most. (though I don't want to be the bad guy)
I just think seeing that my husband is at work all day. I don't want him coming home & getting loud w/ our son. It's my protective way though it may sound silly!!

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Posted by JennRenee

Usually we go with my decisions because I have more experience wth children, but we try to never contradict the other's doings.
I think this will be more important as Nicolas grows up.

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Ditto! I told Joe that if we disagree on something, I don't want us to do it in front of Gianna. I think it's important that we have a 'united' front when it comes to disciplining her.

I think I'm going to end up being the 'mean mommy' disciplinarian because I'm thinking the Little Bear Cub will have her daddy, the big bear, wrapped around her little finger!!! She's half-way there now!!


Edited for spelling! And Camille, you are 100% right about the 'perfect' family time as soon as you come home!!! Joe and I had a few bumps, between the baby blues and I think reality hitting him in the face that we actually had a baby. I think it was a bit overwhelming for him -- don't get me wrong, he was totally in love with Gianna and was happy -- I just think reality hit him that he was responsible for this little person for the rest of his life, etc.

I believe that DH and I agree 99% of the time on parenting issues. The occasional times we've disagreed have been smaller situations. But I do believe it gets harder as they get older. I hope we will always communicate about how we want to handle things, we've discussed that that is the way we want to parent our kids. It's definitely important to not let your child(ren) come between you, which can happen when they see they can get different answers from each parent. I think that's how marriage before kids prepares you for it - if you communicate well with each other when it's just the two of you, you will be better at it when you have kids. Im thinking of one couple I know in particular that I dont think got along very well prior to having their kids and their bickering only accerelated when they had their first then their second child. Did I answer the question or go off on a tangent? LOL

I'd love to revisit this question in a few years...

Alina, I think its a different kind of difference... I don't think it was as stressful as the wedding planning, because of the tight edge I was on while I was planning. (I was also planning with a small child, so my situation is different.) While raising a child is definately stressful, it's longer and more worthwhile. There are points where Brian and I don't agree, but most of them are of situations when Alex gets older.. so we will have to work through them then...