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Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

nrvbrd Posted:

Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

I have a friend like this.

By no means do I think I pry, but I ask general questions.

Ie. if she I have eaten a meal at her home and I compliment it - then proceed to ask her the recipe, she is like well you season your meat yada yada, then I will ask what type of seasoning, her response is whatever you season with- not wanting to divulge her 'secrets' I guess.

Also, with the holidays and birthdays coming around she asked me to suggest a nice restaurant to take her hubby, which I did so I ask her so what are your plans for hubby's birthday? Again very evasive- 'you know a little of this little of that'

Why are people like this? Do they think people will steal their ideas and be better at it than them?
Imagin916 Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

There is a girl I graduated with that works at the same hospital as me, and she was very evasive of when she was taking her boards (wouldnt tell anyone when), but was the first to announce who failed, and who of her friends passed. So when she passed her boards, she made a big deal of nobody asking her about her test!
I cant stand when people do this about things that are not that important. I can see if you are asking someone something very personal, but what you seasoned the meat with?? Does she think you are going to sell it to a cookbook or something?
shamma Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

Roger
shamma Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

ok now that is off my chest, I will tell you, sometimes its like pulling teeth getting an answer out of him. I think he has done it for so long now that he doesn't even realize that he is doing it anymore. He frustrates me with it so much, I tell him it is a turn off and instead of fostering good communication it hinders it. He said he will stay conscious of it. Man oh man. Ex, say he was at his friend's house, if I ask who else was there and what they did, it could turn in to a 10 hour conversation Oh you know, all the folx, we didn't do much, just a little a this, a little of that. Hello I want specifics.
nrvbrd Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

Shamma, you are not alone- my Dh used to be like that, very secretive.

He has gotten SO MUCH BETTER over the years. He used to be soooo guarded. It was not until I turned the tables on him that he realized how frustrating it was.
Donna Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

I remember an Ex-boyfriend like that. He would always omit things when telling things or answering questions, this way he was never lying (according to his logic)

nrvbrd Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

Posted by shamma

Ex, so he was at his friend's house, if I ask who else was there and what they did, it could turn in to a 10 hour conversation Oh you know, all the folx, we didn't do much, just a little a this, a little of that. Hello I want specifics.


oh Shamma, my hubby would hate if I did this- he would think it was being nosy.

this actually happened. Last week he went to a friends house. He got home around midnight. I did not ask him a thing.

The NEXT day he proceeded to tell me the specifics, how they ordered pizza, listened to music, talked about their women etc etc.

You have to let it happen naturally- if you poke and prod you will never get anything out of hm.
shamma Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

See Kysha, I could too but it would take too much effort, when he starts up with it, I say, do you want to tell me or not. He does it to everyone, we all say it to him. Even when he is telling a story or giving a joke he does it, we even lose interest sometimes
shamma Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

I am not poking and prodding, but he starts talking about it and he gets so, I can't even explain it, long winded and evasive all wound up in to one. Where in you have to say, Gosh man, spit it out already.
nrvbrd Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

Posted by shamma

I am not poking and prodding, but he starts talking about it and he gets so, I can't even explain it, long winded and evasive all wound up in to one. Where in you have to say, Gosh man, spit it out already.


I know EXACTLY what you mean and it can be
FRUSTRATING. Sorry about the poking and prodding bit- poor choice of words.

My hubby used to be the same way, that is why I do not even ask anymore. I know I am going to eventually find out sooner than later,so I wait. It is usually either in a few hours or the next day.

This approach saves me alot of hassle.

When he becomes longwinded I feign disinterest and THEN he steps it up a notch.
eroxgirl Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

My dad is like this, but for a few reasons. 1. He is extremely private (something that drove my very nosy mother up a wall while they were married - 20 years later and she still complains about it). 2. He has a thing about specificity - when I ask him questions they have to be VERY explicit in order to get the response I'm looking for. When I was a kid, if I asked for a quarter and he only had 2 dimes and a nickel he wouldn't give it to me until I asked for 25 cents...I blame it on his being an accountant.

I do this to FH when I want to be a pain in the ass.
shamma Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

I am interested tho' Kysha, he always gets me, then I can't stop, I must try it and see if it works
Latina511 Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

My DH is like that sometimes and it bothers me sooo much. I was just telling him this yesterday. I told him don't complain to me if you don't want to tell me the details because I can't help you. It gets me sooo fustrated.
shamma Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

Eroxgirl, Roger gets like that sometimes too you say pass me that thing, whatever it is and he will know which one you are talking about and he will deliberately give you the wrong one. He is a Analyst and he blames it on that as well.
maria96 Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

My Sister-n-Law. We got married 2 months before my DH's brother and his wife. During my planning she would always ask me what we had done so far, who our vendors were, the colors we used, what type of limos we got, and how long our reception was. When I would ask her, she would always say 'We're not sure yet'....or ' Nothing's set in writing yet' UGGH!!! These were still her answers 2-3 months before her wedding

I never was really interested in what she was doing...just asking to be polite...but it just irritated me to no end.
MrsTC Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

i think it has something to do with insecurity.

Kysha - when are you going to start writing your own column in Glamour or something? You come up with great topics for articles!!
nrvbrd Posted:

Re: Do you know people who are very evasive when you ask them questions?

Posted by MrsTC

i think it has something to do with insecurity.

Kysha - when are you going to start writing your own column in Glamour or something? You come up with great topics for articles!!


Thanks, that is so sweet. I always wonder about things and it just so happens that this board always answers my questions.

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