Do you think I'm being a bad bride

wedding_girl Posted: May 10, 2010 09:58 AM

Do you think I'm being a bad bride

Ok here's the story

FH and I are on a budget for our wedding. Not a tight budget but a budget nonetheless.

For my bridesmaids ( I have 3) i'm giving them gifts and paying for mani/pedi's for everyone the day before and taking them to lunch.

People keep telling me its rude to not pay for their hair and makeup the day of. I really can't afford it, and can barely afford it for myself for that matter.

so is anyone else not doing that or am I the only one??

mybabylovesmoi Posted: May 10, 2010 10:02 AM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

I think that's nonsense. I would only pay for the hair and makeup if

a) I was rich
b) I was making them wear a specific hairstyle or makeup.

I am leaving hair and makeup as an option for my bms...they can either do it themselves or get it done but I can not pay for it.

halfbaked Posted: May 10, 2010 10:03 AM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

Posted by mybabylovesmoi

I think that's nonsense. I would only pay for the hair and makeup if

a) I was rich
b) I was making them wear a specific hairstyle or makeup.

I am leaving hair and makeup as an option for my bms...they can either do it themselves or get it done but I can not pay for it.

What she said!!! Whoever is telling you this either has tons of loot or no concept as too how much weddings actually cost! I'm not paying for their hair/make-up!

kedra5 Posted: May 10, 2010 10:07 AM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

ITA with both girls!!!

evita2781 Posted: May 10, 2010 10:07 AM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

i've been in a few weddings and i've always had to pay for hair - and i always did my own make up b/c i refused to pay for make up. I don't think you're being a bad bride at all!

MrsTarricone2B Posted: May 10, 2010 10:14 AM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

I agree with the ladies. You're not being a bad bride at all.

suzie411 Posted: May 10, 2010 10:16 AM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

You definitely do not have to pay for their hair and make up. I've paid for mine in many weddings, and I have a wedding in a couple weeks, where I'll be paying.

It's not on the bride to pay for that. The only way I could see someone saying that you have to pay for it, is if you're making it mandatory for the girls to get their hair and makeup done by a specific person.

jwleewedding Posted: May 10, 2010 10:22 AM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

you're not a bad bride. i've heard of stories both ways but it's not a necessity. anything you do for your bm's are a GIFT, not and OBLIGATION.

i'm paying for the hair and makeup for my girls, but that's only cause it comes with my package. otherwise, i probably wouldn't do it either.

Gaby8 Posted: May 10, 2010 11:06 AM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

Posted by mybabylovesmoi

I think that's nonsense. I would only pay for the hair and makeup if

a) I was rich
b) I was making them wear a specific hairstyle or makeup.

I am leaving hair and makeup as an option for my bms...they can either do it themselves or get it done but I can not pay for it.

ITA!!!

I am gonna leave it up to them.. Ill give them the option... and the price...they can do both...or neither.

I really feel that it should NOT even be a requirement for them to DO either. Some people can do great makeup on their own... you know...

HSsweethearts Posted: May 10, 2010 11:07 AM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

I'm not paying for their hair and makeup. Sure, it would be great, if I end up with extra money at the end, I would GLADLY do it, but right now I need to worry about paying for my own.

To make it easier on my BM though I am not dictating how they have to wear their hair and makeup (though I am inviting them to get it done with me)And I will most likely let them wear any silver sandal they choose, so they can either, wear shoes they already own, or buy shoes they can wear again. No dust collecting dyeables

futurestevens Posted: May 10, 2010 11:08 AM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

no way! it should never be expected that the bride pay for the BMs hair and makeup...I've had to pay for mine in other weddings, and i don't plan on paying for my BMs to have theirs done for my wedding. the only people i MIGHT pay for would be my mom and sister (MOH), but that depends on how much money is leftover at the end lol

WeezyGirl2354 Posted: May 10, 2010 11:09 AM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

What??? Rude?? Bad bride??? noooo way!!!! I'm not paying and everytime I have been a BM i have always paid.

I wouldn't expect someone to pay for me to be honest - its a nice gesture but its not needed. if they are your true friends they understand what you can and can't do financially speaking

Moonmist09 Posted: May 10, 2010 11:13 AM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

NOT AT ALL!!

i told all of my BM that if they want to get their hair and makeup done they can. I will have a professional hair & makeup lady at my home the day of and I already gave them the prices she will charge. If they want to use her they will have to let me know so i can tell her how many women she will have to prepare the day of.
if they prefer to go to their own hair salon and get their makeup done on their own, they can do that too.
but i'm not paying for it either way.
and i've been a BM plenty of times and no one ever paid for my hair or makeup

allornil Posted: May 10, 2010 11:13 AM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

its really rare that people pay for their bridesmaids hair and makeup. Don't feel bad.

I'm paying for mine most likely, but I only have a MOH.

wedding_girl Posted: May 10, 2010 12:03 PM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

Thanks girls I feel better

jenn_eric Posted: May 10, 2010 12:04 PM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

I'm not planning on paying for it - I have other plans for gifts for them but they all understand that it's a cost thing. I am, however, going to see if I can get them a good deal somewhere so that they can pay less; plus I'm going to give them freedom to do as they please w/ hair/make up. I trust my girls to look good (they're pickier about how they look than I am about how they look works out well).

Neeks Posted: May 10, 2010 12:05 PM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

nope not rude at all I was planning on paying for thier makeup until I got the price quotes lol uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm forget that lol but I do like ur mani pedi idea I might just take that one

Bee12 Posted: May 10, 2010 12:07 PM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

i dont think you are a bad bride.. i think you are a SMART bride... im not paying for Zero, Zip, Zilch, Nada, Nunca if i dont want to ....

Its a recession and the weddings are freaking expensive... every penny, dollar counts...

pay for what you want and/or what fits within your budget...

Tetelove Posted: May 10, 2010 12:07 PM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

In your situation, I would just pay for their hair, makup and maybe DOJ...that's it. I wouldn't pay for nails because what if they decide to put on tips...etc. That's more money.

I plan on treating my girls for their makeup, DOJ and that's it! I plan on giving them a cute card thanking them for being in the wedding. I'll give the card along with their DOJ.

aquag12283 Posted: May 10, 2010 12:09 PM

Re: Do you think I'm being a bad bride

No you are not being a bad bride. I was in a wedding party 3 years ago and the bride did not pay for our hair and makeup. We got an expensive necklace since her father-in-law is a jeweler, but she did not pay for hair and make-up. I'm not paying for hair and make-up I may pay for my mother and sister (MOH) but that's it.