do you think it's possible

to look back on something fondly, when the very thing you are reminiscing about hurt someone very deeply?

could you sit there and wax nostalgic about something, when another person wants to slit their wrists because of it?

depends what the event is, and why the person was hurt (and how the event caused this hurt).

Generally I find it hard to think back on happy events if someone else's pain is involved. I tend to obsess on and focus on the pain, rather than the positive.

Absolutely. It's all about perspective. Everyone has different experiences and memories--even if they have gone through the same thing.

We can both remember an event and think back on it completely differently because of our roles and how we handle things individually. For example, my friend and I have been friends since grade school and went through high school together and did everything together. When I look back, I do so fondly; however, she does so with disdain.

I could, but only briefly.

No matter how great that memory is for me individually, the other person's pain in tangled in those memories - they were apart of the event - I can't block that out.

it's so funny that you all mention 'perspective'. that's my husbands go-to word.

I get that is is about 'perspective'...so is it right to assume then, that when thinking in perspective, you opt not to care about how things effected other people...you actively decide to focus just on the pleasure you gained...and not the pain you inflicted.

that's awesome. I am actually glad I can't seem to do that.

Perspective is relative.

Some people are really only capable of remembering the good, especially if enough time passes.

And I think that the ones who cause so much pain that it's palpable try to only see the good because it's the only way to live with what they've done.

High School.
So many people LOVED it.
'Oh the PROM!!! ' or 'Do you remember Heath's graduation party? It was CRAZY!!! '
While others were ignored, picked on, awkward and sad.

For me it was my brother's wedding. He was happy - but everytime they would pull out the wedding album or talk about watching the video tape I would want to crawl under a rock somewhere and die.


Yeah. It's possible.