Brides Helping Brides ™ - Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

shellnroc Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:31 PM

Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

NO CHILDREN PLEASE... something like that. I really do not want any children at my wedding. Not to sound nasty. It's not like I do not like children or anything. So I was thinking when the time comes if that would look funny. I thought about doing this because FH said to me what happens if someone brings their children. I don't see how someone would especially if the invitation says Mr and Mrs. or and guest. But who knows with any of his family. I have seen it done before but do you think it would look tacky??? Honestly?

cocoa Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:40 PM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

in all honesty, yes. slightly. but that is my own opionion. however, supposedly you are only supposed to put whomever is invited on the envelope. in a nice world, that rule would be generally understood by everyone. just have people spread the word that no kids are allowed. stick to your guns with this issue b/c it probably is the most pain in the a$$ issue we have to face.

JimmysBride Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:42 PM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

Yes, honestly that would be tacky. There are more eloquent ways of going about this if you don't think they'll go by only the names on the envelope.

You can put:

'Adult reception immediately following...'

Or

You can write in the number of attendants for them, so they understand exactly who is invited.

Also, you should have the family spread the word so people know not to even ask you and put you in an awkward position.

That should help.

My MIL put me in a terrible position for my E-party. She INSISTED that I put 'Adults Only Please' on the invite and I did to appease her. I felt so dumb afterwards, especially since one of the guests (from HER side, I might add) actually said to me 'of course I would never bring the kids to something like this!' So... I learned my lesson...

erose722 Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:45 PM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

dont assume that just because you put on the invitation Mr&Mrs that the couple will not think about bringing their children. I just went through a situation like that where I invited my 2nd cousin and her husband and she was planning on bringing her 4 year old daughter until my mother stepped in and said she was not invited. She was very offended but I really dont care..I have enough to worry about. Plus my wedding is black tie so a 4 year old would not really fit in to a formal affair. I've been saying to myself that I am never going to please everyone.

Nictoni Posted: Mar 25, 2005 11:43 PM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

In my opinion, I would just 'spread the word' that you do not want children there. I think that even if guests were not planning on bringing their children they will probably take offense to it just because it was written. But, hey IT IS YOUR WEDDING!!! You have to do what you feel.

eric'sbride Posted: Mar 26, 2005 08:00 AM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

Posted by Nictoni

In my opinion, I would just 'spread the word' that you do not want children there. I think that even if guests were not planning on bringing their children they will probably take offense to it just because it was written. But, hey IT IS YOUR WEDDING!!! You have to do what you feel.

I agree that word of mouth is best here!

N.Y.bride Posted: Mar 26, 2005 08:02 AM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

I wouldnt put it on your invitation. I feel the same way, but if the invitation is only addressed to the parents, not '& family' They should get it. I would also use word of mouth... Start spreading it :) Good luck :)

BlondeJD Posted: Mar 26, 2005 08:08 AM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

IMO, yeah it is. I'm not having kids at the wedding either, so I understand your predicament. I think the ways that some of the ladies suggested are a better way to do it.

The way we handled it was that we wrote on our website (we sent STDs with the website address) 'Unfortunately, due to space limitiations we will be unable to accomodate any children at the wedding. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.'

We are only addressing the envelopes to the people invited (which I agree can be a gamble) but on the RSVP card, we are having them write in the names of those attending. If a child's name shows up, we can call and explain the situation to them. We've also been getting the word out with our families. Good luck!

SomethingBlu Posted: Mar 26, 2005 09:06 AM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

Posted by JimmysBride

Yes, honestly that would be tacky. There are more eloquent ways of going about this if you don't think they'll go by only the names on the envelope.

You can put:

'Adult reception immediately following...'

Or

You can write in the number of attendants for them, so they understand exactly who is invited.

Also, you should have the family spread the word so people know not to even ask you and put you in an awkward position.

That should help.

I agree. I definitely don't think it belongs on the invite. I did all of the above...had my reception folder printed to say 'Adult Reception, Dinner and Dance'...had a line on my RSVP to say '___ seats have been reserved in your honor' and I filled in how many seats I was inviting from that house AND I wrote the names of those I was inviting on the inner envelope PLUS I had a little note on my knot webpage with the following 'While we love children and realize their importance in all of our lives, we have a desire for this to be an adult-only evening.
Naturally, having you join us is of the utmost importance and we will make exceptions, if necessary.'

I did A LOT, I know, but my guests are the type to bring an infant to the reception...while I don't mind a baby at the ceremony, I don't think it's appropriate for a party lasting until 1am. I broke ettiquette rules, but I seriously do not care and no one has complained.

Good luck!

Latrice Posted: Mar 26, 2005 09:40 AM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

i dont think it is tacky at all. I have a major feeling that although I addressed the invite to a Mr. & Mrs XXX, those people would still consider bringing their kids. i have younger cousins who have children already and I am sure they would naturally assume that they can bring their kids just because they are family. So on my invite I have written Adult reception to follow. On the RSVP I have written again no children please....so people can get it again as they complete the rsvp to mail back.

dsandbs Posted: Mar 26, 2005 05:11 PM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

Not at all-

1) Adult Reception Only

OR

2) We kindly aske children please not attend.

We did not want children brought to our reception- just our feelings...but I think #1 and #2 above are nicer ways to say that than 'No Children'..we used #1..in small tiny italics at end of invite.

btrflygrl Posted: Mar 26, 2005 05:12 PM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

it is tacky to put that on there. Your guests will know if children are invited by the names you put on the inner and outer envelopes

shellnroc Posted: Mar 26, 2005 06:15 PM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

Thanks girls for your responses. Adult reception immediately following sounds good. As the time approaches I will be spreading the word but I still think I need to put it on my invitation. Some people just don't understand what Mr. & Mrs. is. I don't want to take a chance.

gmnst15 Posted: Mar 26, 2005 07:57 PM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

This is what I found on an invitation website:

Some people may only be able to accomodate a certain number of people at their wedding because of financial or size limitations and cannot invite children because they need the space for additional adult friends.

Some people may want to have an adult celebration with drinking and dancing and would like the parents to stay late and 'party' with them at their wedding and children and heavily drinking adults aren´t really an ideal mix.

You would not address 'no children' on the actual wedding invitation. You make a few well-placed calls. Have your bridesmaids or your family say, 'you know I hate to tell you but they can´t accommodate kids at this upcoming wedding. Please arrange for somebody to take care of them.' It´s terrible to put it on the invitations. It´s such a strong negative to have printed on such a positive invitation - 'no children' or 'adults only'. So just make a few telephone calls and tell them to spread the word, and they will.

Some couples may supply a couple of sitters or nannys to sit for children who may come with their parents. You can include this information with your save the date card or in the invitation.

Make sure you address the wedding invitations (inner and outer) with the parents names only and if you are not having any children, make sure you don´t allow some people to bring children and others not or you will end up with hurt feelings.

jsb1ot Posted: Mar 26, 2005 08:06 PM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

I'm putting 'Adult Reception to follow...' on my invitation.

micmar Posted: Mar 27, 2005 09:48 AM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

I am totally with you on the no kids. What would normally happen if someone thought kids were invited is the person would write say 4 attending as opposed to the 2 that you invited. If that happens, then you just simply call them & explain the no kids rule. Most people know that if it says 'Mr & Mrs. Smith' that means just the parents, but there might be some that don't get it. I would not put on the invitation 'no kids'.

dita531 Posted: Mar 27, 2005 09:52 AM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

Posted by jsb1ot

I'm putting 'Adult Reception to follow...' on my invitation.

I like that.

ChrissynRicky Posted: Mar 27, 2005 10:03 AM

Re: Do you think it's tacky to put on your invitation...

I don't think it's tacky! Parents usually bring their CHILDREN EVERYWHERE. They don't get the hint when addressing the envelopes 'mr. & mrs.' versus 'Smith Family.' Word of mouth is tough, and gets lost in translation basically. I would put it on the bottom of the reception card 'No Children Please.' I plan on doing it!