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Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

hugs213 Posted:

Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

Just curious. Now that we got an apartment I just assumed that I would buy the things that I like such as frames, lamps, pillows. But FI has an opinion about everything and I feel like no part of this house is really who I am because I have to compromise everything. My mom is the type of person who got everything for the house (furniture and accesories) without even consulting my dad. She thinks its the woman's house and she should decorate it anyway she wants to. She things it's so odd that FI and I are fighting about how to decorate. Who agrees with it should be up to the woman to decorate the home?

suven Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

I totally agree with you. But, I am also living the same way that you are! I never EVER imagined that my Fi would even care about some of the stuff that he cares about...

But, since he wants to have an opinion on everything, I also make him cook and clean...
jill13bean Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

it isn't the womans job anymore... it should be both of you unless he doesn't care which is many mens opinions

i wouldn't assume it is just your choice... you both have to live there

think about it if you had to live somewhere and everything you looked at you didn't really like or it wasn't you or a compromise
this is what moving in with each other is all about....compromise
AJsMommy122 Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

when I was decortationg our apt. fh was totally not into the little stuff... the big stuff was a compromise ( lucky for me we have similar taste) we picked out our couches together and he picked the dining room table but I LOVE it!! We picked out our entertainment unit together and my FMIL gave me her credit card and told me to go buy a bedroom set as part of an early wedding gift... fh went with me but let me pick it out all on my own!! - stuff like the bedding set he wants to see but little nick knacks and stuff like that he dosent care about... he let me choose as long as it wasnt $$$$$.

KarenB Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

You do have to compromise if your FI is interested. My FI and I have different taste, and he is definitely involved in decorating our apt. Our apartment has a huge entry way so 'his' kind of stuff will be in the hallway in curios. I have french country taste. To compromise on a living room set, we bought very basic couches but I am getting very ornate throw pillows and one of the chairs we bought has a mutli print. If you are patient you can find things that you both like but you will definitely feel like the house/apartment represents your style too. My FI knows that his kinda stuff, (Homer Simpson, Batman, etc..) will not be in the livingroom.diningroom area.

JimmysBride Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

Hmmm.... I couldn't really vote in the poll because this is what I think:

I think that for most major decorating decisions, both spouses should be involved to whatever extent they want to be. For other things, especially little things like picture frames, I see nothing wrong with the woman taking it upon herself to choose things without consulting her husband AND VISE VERSA.... the man should also be able to come home once in a while with something HE likes.
september2004 Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

if i left it up to FH we would be living in a cave with a big screen t.v. and a leather chair.

we had numerous fights regarding decor once we moved in. we sorted things out and now for the most part FH defers to my judgment with an occasional grunt...
nicknmb Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

I think that you can stil go out and buyt stuff without FH, but keep the receipts in case he hates it!

Ladybug63 Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

I used to fight with FI about this all the time. I feel that I get to decorate the house. It's something I really like doing, and take pride in.
I finally said look ... a women has to go through having her visitor every month (which is very painful for me), giving birth, nursing and tons of other stuff so I get to decorate.
Obviously if I purchased something that he absolutely hated I would return it.
I want him to be comfortable in our home but if he likes my taste then there should be no discussion.

I would include him on the couch, some furniture. Large or expensive decisions but as for accessories, forget it. How annoying is it to not be able to buy something or have to ask him every time because he may not like it.

it's just a control thing.. me taking it and on him giving it up.

Again JMO.
tracyg Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

i think it SHOULD be up to the woman!!! Because i couldn't get the bedding set i wanted because he's gotta have an opinion!!! GRRRR!! why should he care if we're sleeping under flowered duvets!!

he also won't let me get my funky couch pillows. i like to add strange designs and textures to plain things... our couch is very plain.

so i feel this way not for chauvanistic reasons, but because he cares too much about our decorations and i can't get what i want !!

Boop2704 Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

Its my job and my DH is A-OK with that. He is not the decorating type. If I left it up to him to decorate, we would have 5 big screen tvs, with a different video game plugged into each, with some beer signs all over the walls!! Not Happening!! As it is now in our apartment, the beer signs are on the walls, but only the nice classy ones. When we have a house, its all me, doing the decorating. He can have one room, which will be his man pad for all his video games and stuff!!!! I want my house to look classy, not like the local bar!!
tracyg Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

and he gets to decorate our den/hobby room. thats his sports memoribilia room. (on the walls anyway)
so why can't i get one 'ugly' pillow?
nov04LIbride Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

We compromise...I definitely didn't let him get the really manly looking comforter set he wanted though! It should have elements of both of you, so you both feel comfortable. I am lucky because we agree on many things having to do with decorating...

bxgell2 Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

Oh my god, I totally disagree!! It's a different world than when our mother's first got married!! We both bought the house, and we both pay the mortgage, so why would the decorating be up to me? And, really, you're missing out if you don't include your FH! Your home should be a reflection of the two of you, of your lives together, not just one person... some our best times together are when we go shopping for stuff for the house... and picking out the color for the walls, and everything... I love doing those things with him! Sometimes we disagree, but hell, that's what a relationship is about... compromise and finding a nice happy medium that we can both be happy with!

marymoon Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

Umm..women decorate the home thing comes form teh same mindset that says a woman's place is in the home...so unless you want to go with that whole 1950's thing, it's gotta be 50.50 and you should be glad it is.

I'm trying to et Fh to let me be in charge of decorating, but b/c I'm better at it, not b/c I'm a woman
Xelindrya Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

Wow.. a woman's house?

nah.. not for me.

I married Jim. And it's gonna sound corny but EVERYTHING is a partnership now. I couldnt even being to imagine decorating the house without his input.

He has opinions and a mind as much as I do. He has stuff he just DOESNT like and things he would love to have. We wander around pottery barn and the restoration store and dream our house out. We love working together to build our home. (even tho we have none)

Mostly I couldnt imagine going through the trouble of fixing up a house if the guy is gonna ruin it, not appreciate it, hate it or ignore it all together.

It's 'our' home, not just mine (until we have kids, then it's their home). We agree or mostly agree on so very much. Though both of us have agreed we both want a place of our own if possible. He wants a game room, I want a study. BUT I like to 'game' and he likes to 'research' so both rooms will be used by both of us.

If we had to live in a studio apt we'd still find a way to have separate parts. And we'd still find that it was unique 'us' not him or me.

JMHO
luvsun27 Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

I had my house before I met FH...so all the furniture was my taste...thankfully, FH likes it all. But...when it's time to do little things...he always has an opionion. I like hearing his opinion sometimes....here's a perfect example:

I have an entertainment unit...but it's made for a big screen TV...I only have a 32 inch. So, FH says he can build a shelf above the tv. Great! So...he builds this shelf and we went back and forth to home depot 4 times in one day trying to decide on brackets for the shelf. I wanted wood colored ones that match the unit (I knew they were the same color when I saw them, but FH said they were too dark). FH wanted silver ones to match the handles on the unit. So...on our last trip to home depot...we bought BOTH. I said...whichever ones we don't use, the person who picked them has to return them. I WON...after they were put up, even FH agreed that mine looked better...but we worked it out together.

As for my parents...my mom does the whole house thing. My dad was sitting in a chair for about 2 weeks....and then asks if this was new
j_dancer_44 Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

We enjoy doing everything together, so I know my FH would want to be part of the decorating decisions. We are both planning for the wedding and we are both in charge of deciding on everything, 50/50.

tourist Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

I think it should be left up to whomever has better taste?

That's me, of course


Seriously, I sort of lead, but he'll speakup if there is something he really wants or soemthign he can't stand. I can't ignore his opinion completey & get s soemthignhe hates & expect him to get rid fo soemthign Ihate.

We have more of a problem with things that we owned befre.
Especially things I bought him when he lvied with a male friend. He doesn't know how I liked those things them, but don't want them now.
I liked them for HIM, not neccessarily for us.
I compromised on the glasses, so hopefully I can win the debate about the train wreck poster.


tracyg Posted:

Re: Do you think the woman should be in charge of decorating the home?

seriously though, we both do the decorating. we compromise on everything. Even when he says he doesn't care about something, i make sure he doesn't hate it before i buy it.

like he doesn't like flowery bedding designs, and i don't like the plaid that he wanted. So we registered for the windowpane/avignon set from Pottery Barn, has a striped duvet, but a floral quilt and pillow shams. Compromise.

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