ok so i have an issue with my FH and his parents. They are very old fashion anyway we dated for just about 4 years at the time we got engaged, and up untill we got engaged i was still considered a 'guest' at their house. NOT family. and at my house my FH was family from day one. so its hard for me to not be welcomed that much. Also he is expected to drop everything he does for his family, including plans with me. I do understand respecting his family and family is very important to me also but now were getting MARRIED , i am HIS family now... is this ever going to change??? i've brought it up to him and he just dosent get it. hes like their my family what do u want me to do?? i think they do it on purpose sometimes just to see what he'll do. it makes me so mad cuz sometimes we have a whole day planned and it either gets postponed or delayed cuz they come up with something stupid like, hanging blinds, for him to do so we cant do what we had planned... HELP!!!!!!
sorry this is long i needed to vent and can anyone give me some advice on how to handle this??
AMGBride2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: does anyone else have this probelm?
I don't have this problem, but up until we got engaged, FH's mom referred to me as 'Aaron's friend'. It was sooooooo aggrivating!!!
You need to sit down and talk to your FH and explain to him that while you respect his relationship with his family he needs to start re-prioritizing, because once you're married, you're family and regardless of how things are now, you become his #1 priority and vice versa.
Soon2BMrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: does anyone else have this probelm?
wow friend huh u didn't even get 'girl' friend... i know how that is...i tried to sit him down and tell him exactly what u said and in many different ways cuz i thought maybe i wasnt getting my point across.. but he promises the world that things are going to change but still nothing.. i think it has alot to do with the fact that he still lives home and feels obligated... who knows.. thanks for the advice!
jgl
Posted:
Member since
Re: does anyone else have this probelm?
my concern is what is going to happen when you are married? who is going to be the priority? I think these are things you really need to sit down and talk to him about, voice your feelings. Let him know how you feel and ask how he is going to handle this when you get married.
best wishes!
Soon2BMrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: does anyone else have this probelm?
ur right thats what i asked him and he said thats different.. so i asked how and he said you will be my wife and i said well lets pretend i already am..lol.. i just want to knwo that when it comes right down to it when i have kids that hes not going to up and leave cuz they need him to hang blinds or something.. but i dont know how else to say it so that he gets it!.. we need to move in together so he doesnt feel obligated so much cuz hes not being supported by them.
AMGBride2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: does anyone else have this probelm?
I guess right now the only thing you can do if you've talked to him about this time and time again is to just trust and believe him when he says things will be different. I'm sure him living at home is a HUGE factor in all of this. Just be patient... I know easier said than done.
