REFUSE to leave the house? JT will NOT leave the house on his days off. We have not done ANYTHING outdoors this summer. I love being outside, especially on days like today, and he rather hide in the bedroom adn play video games. No matter how many times I try to compromise with him, I can't get him to go out. He JUST got in the shower now. He has off today, and I really wanted to do something with him before I have to work at 4 this evening, and he just laid around all f-ing morning and now he's b-tching that I want to go and do somehting. He's only worked ONE DAY in the last five, so it's not like he wanted to rest from work. I am so sick of this. I get depressed being around him. He doesn't even open the shades in our bedroom, or the windows. What is wrong with him? We live on the beach and have a beautiful pool, and in the EIGHT MONTHS we've lived here, he's never been to EITHER ONE! I just feel so defeated and depressed by him
btrflygrl
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Re: Does anyone else's FH/DH..........
Richie is like that too....he loves to sleep till noon on his day off when it's the only day we have together....I told him I had a fear that things around the house wouldn't get done because of it! He said he would try and that once we were on our own, it would be different....and it is....we do alot of running around on our time off!
070502
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Re: Does anyone else's FH/DH..........
I'm sorry, Can you took go out to lunch somewhere and sit outside or take some zitti and go down to a park or the beach and eat outside.. maybe the food will tempt him to go outdoors!
I can't even imagine, Dh doesn't play video games at all but he has some friends who play some game WarCraft and needless to say they all used to be engaged.
prncssrachel
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Re: Does anyone else's FH/DH..........
I swear to god he is the epitomy of lazy. I can't take it anymore. If I need something done around the house, he always does it, but if it's something requiring him to leave the house, he won't do it unless it's to go to work. Like, for example, we have ZERO dollars in our checking account, and he just got paid from his new job, so he has a fat check sitting in his pocket. Normally I go and deposit the checks and stuff, but he has to go and sign something for his first payroll check, and HE WILL NOT GO TO THE BANK! I'm talkng we have a ZERO balance, and he has HUNDREDS of dollars waiting to be deposited. I'm just so annoyed, and I didn't want to nag him to go the the bank, but I couldn't take it anymore and I just screamed at him. How am I the bad guy in this? Once he FINALLY leaves the house, he pouts so much and makes me feel guilty for making him go out. I am so sick of him right now
btrflygrl
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Re: Does anyone else's FH/DH..........
YOU need to address this issue Rach! Is it a fear of something? He can't just be THAT lazy....things need to get done and you can't do them all yourself!! What's he gonna do when you're sick and he's gotta go get diapers for the baby??? HUH???
I think you should confront the issue in terms of a fear you have that things won't get done when it's just the two of you. See how he takes it....it's a legitimate concern that your marriage will be a partnership, and he's not holding up his end.
Anniegrl
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Re: Does anyone else's FH/DH..........
Wow, that's bad! My DH is practically glued to his computer on the weekends which really pisses me off. I don't understand how he can sit in his underwear all weekend and not want to go outside and enjoy the beautiful weather. But he WILL go out if I ask him to (most of the time). He would definately not leave a zero balance in the bank!!!! You need to have a serious talk with your FH!
boosh78201
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Re: Does anyone else's FH/DH..........
I agree, you defintely need to talk to him. Why wouldnt he want to go to the bank and deposit his money. Those checks expire after a certain period of time so I wouldnt hang on to them for too long.
Don would prefer sitting home and relaxing but if stuff needs to get done, he doesnt b i t c h and complain about it.
kissy27
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Re: Does anyone else's FH/DH..........
FH is like that too...He is outdoors all week long so the beautiful weather is just normal for him...I am stuck in an office all day mon-fri & i look forward to outdoor activities on the weekends. He has gotten better though...This weekend we were out all the time & he had no say!
prncssrachel
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Re: Does anyone else's FH/DH..........
I think he may be depressed because when we lived in MA, he never did this. He still didn't like to go out when we were up there, but this is getting so ridiculous. It's like he's relapsed to being 12 years old again. He used to be so responsible, and now he is ignoring everything outside of our bedroom that needs to be done. He thinks if he makes the bed and folds the laundry that he must be ok because depressed people don't do those things. It's BS. I just don't think he understands the concept of depression because by refusing to understand it, he doesn't have to deal with it. Part of me feels so bad for him, but part of me wants to kick his a$$ out the door and into the freaking therapists office and not let him back home until he's dealt with some of his sh-t in his life.
boosh78201
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Re: Does anyone else's FH/DH..........
Have you tried talking to him about this? What does he say.
btrflygrl
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Re: Does anyone else's FH/DH..........
sounds like he's depressed...I did the same things when I was....and Rich did the same things...even neglected the stuff IN his room and would just sit and play games or watch tv....
address the issue...just don't be confrontational...
prncssrachel
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Re: Does anyone else's FH/DH..........
We've talked about it a lot, and just like many depressed people, he says he will do something about it, then never does. We had MANY talks about this. I'm never confrontational about it because I know what it's like to be depressed, but I cannot understnad wanting to wallow in it. He doesn't argue with me, he'll just tell me he's going to do things, then never does them and never mentions them again like they're not really there. Ok, Pouty McPout is out of the shower. I'm going to go talk to him. Thanks girls.
don424
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Re: Does anyone else's FH/DH..........
Posted by boosh78201
I agree, you defintely need to talk to him. Why wouldnt he want to go to the bank and deposit his money. Those checks expire after a certain period of time so I wouldnt hang on to them for too long.
Don would prefer sitting home and relaxing but if stuff needs to get done, he doesnt b i t c h and complain about it.
thanks for the vote of confidence
prncssrachel
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Re: Does anyone else's FH/DH..........
Ok, so we spent the day together, and I expressed my concerns to him. He agreed that he needs to get out of the house more often and that his comfort zone is at home, but he denies being depressed. He said that he is the happiest he's been in a while with his new job and what not, but that he definitely falls into patterns. I'm not entirely convinced that he's not depressed, and he knows this, but he said just because I perceive something to be one way, doesn't make it true. I guess he has a point. But the crap like going to the bank and what not, I am still annoyed about. Granted he went today. There's no excuse for that, but he maintains that out of all the things that he does actually do, I honed in on the one thing he hates to do. So I don't know. I feel better, but I'm definitely not going to let it all slide because I am afraid of him and I slipping into patterns. He suggested we start doing more things outside like playing tennis and baseball and what not, so I'm going to take him up on his offer and see how it goes. Thanks for listening to me and for the advice!
