FH and I went for our wedding bands last night and even though he picked out two that he liked, one for work and then a nicer one, his two together only cost about a quarter of what mine is going to cost. I told him I feel really guilty about spending the money on a wedding band and he told me he knows I love it so we will just do it. He has been busting his *** working extra to make all the money we need to finish renovating the house and pay for the wedding so I feel kinda guilty about spending so much on certain things. I know he doesnt mind because he knows how happy I am about it but at the same time I feel like maybe I should just say I will get something cheaper so he doesnt have all that stress on him. I did mention this to him and he keeps telling me to stop worrying, he knows I fell in love with the band so he wants me to have it but that still doesnt stop me from feel guilty about it. Sometimes its hard because througout this whole process all he keeps saying is whatever you want we will get and sometimes I feel like such a brat because of it.
Just wondering if anyone else feels like this?
ammie1016
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I did at first too. But my FH told me that once our house closes and all the other things that come together with a marriage, & Family life, we won't want to spend the money later on for a ring. It would be better to do it now rather than later.
Autumn08
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Yes I feel like that a lot about certain things with the wedding. IMO the wedding band is something you are going to have for a long time. So to me it's a place I'd allow myself to splurge on with out feeling so much guilt.
dutchessev
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I don't think you should feel gulity. I think he sounds like a great guy and he would feel bad knowing you didn't get what you really wanted. Once the wedding is over you will feel better instead of having to worry what has to be paid or what you are spending on the wedding.
Gigi08
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I waited a loong time for this, and to me, it's a once in a lifetime thing. I do feel bad though, because our jeweler told us how much the price of gold and platinum went up since he got my engagement ring. But, I also know that I really don't want any big pieces of jewelry, at least not for awhile after the wedding. It's nice that you appreciate it and don't want to take advantage. I'm sure your FH appreciates that and makes him want to do it for you more.
Mrs.C 102608
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Thanks girls, I think you are all right....FH would be upset knowing I didnt get what I really wanted especially since its something I will be wearing for a lifetime. I dont plan on splurging on anything after the wedding. I just think all the stress of what still has to ge paid has gotten to me so every dollar we spend that I think might be unneccessary I feel bad about.
Gigi08
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Yes, things are a little stressful right now with the money situation. A lot of smaller things I kept putting off, now I have no choice and have to get them...and it adds up!
Kerin2804
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Yes, I do feel that way often. Fh says the same thing that yours does.
MJDoc12
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i felt bad about my wedding band too!! DH has a very simple band -- and I wanted one with diamonds in it. he joked that he had to 'sacrifice' so I could have mine.
In the end i said to myself 'this is what I really want and its gonna be on my finger for the rest of my life (god willing)' we're not fancy people so spending a little extra on it was okay with me.
as long as you both agree its okay---don't feel guilty!
Mrs.C 102608
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Posted by MJDoc12
i felt bad about my wedding band too!! DH has a very simple band -- and I wanted one with diamonds in it. he joked that he had to 'sacrifice' so I could have mine.
In the end i said to myself 'this is what I really want and its gonna be on my finger for the rest of my life (god willing)' we're not fancy people so spending a little extra on it was okay with me.
as long as you both agree its okay---don't feel guilty!
Thanks, youre right. If we both agree I guess I shouldnt feel guilty.
Mrs.C 102608
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Posted by Gigi08
Yes, things are a little stressful right now with the money situation. A lot of smaller things I kept putting off, now I have no choice and have to get them...and it adds up!
I know I did the same thing and now I'm starting to feel suffocated by all the little things still needing to be purchased
empressdani
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At first I did. DH actually had to make me start buying things b/c I felt bad going into our wedding account...it looked so pretty w/ all those zeros
I just made sure I ran it by him first so at least he'd feel like he was ok-ing things
Espo22
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nope no guilt at the end of the day i put in the most of my own money towards the wedding.
plus although my band was more than dh's, not by alot...i saw my band somewhere that was a bit high, i know it shouldnt have been that much. So dh and i went to a place where his family has gotten jewelry from quite a few times and gave us a great deal. Plus the same day i got my band, dh decided to purchase a ring for himself too(not a wedding band) hes never worn rings or jewelry but decided to get a ring with 22 on it lol
KK Holiday
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Posted by Espo22
nope no guilt at the end of the day i put in the most of my own money towards the wedding.
same here! FH said to me the other day 'I feel bad, most of this is your money! I feel like I havent contributed any cash at all!'
I feel bad about the wedding cost in general though. but I know that we are staying smart and not over buying
KimberlyScott
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Don't feel like a brat and get what you want.. This is a purchase that you are going to have for the rest of your life and possibly pass down to your children. I think it's so sweet how your husband is so catering to you and will do whatever to make you happy. I bet he doesn't mind one bit b/c he loves you so stop thinking like that.
Mrs.C 102608
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Posted by Espo22
nope no guilt at the end of the day i put in the most of my own money towards the wedding.
plus although my band was more than dh's, not by alot...i saw my band somewhere that was a bit high, i know it shouldnt have been that much. So dh and i went to a place where his family has gotten jewelry from quite a few times and gave us a great deal. Plus the same day i got my band, dh decided to purchase a ring for himself too(not a wedding band) hes never worn rings or jewelry but decided to get a ring with 22 on it lol
I didnt even think of that. I know the band I got would be way more if I got it anywhere else but since we went to the jeweler that everyone in the family uses she is really good to us as far as price. I just felt bad because here I am getting this bling wedding band and FH has a plain one. Thats what he wanted though so we are both happy. Its only once in a lifetime so I guess I need to stop worrying and enjoy it.
MikeandJess
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Re: Does anyone ever feel guilty about.......
yes, I was so frustrated with the cost of my wedding band but there is really nothing we can do. The price of gold and platinum is at an all time high right now. We either pay the cost or don't get wedding bands, its something we have to do! Also, the way I look at it, this is probably the longest term investment in wedding planning. You'll have that wedding band for life and after that, it'll be passed down to your children, etc, etc. So a lot of money now will be invaluable in the long run.
Mrs.C 102608
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Posted by MikeandJess
yes, I was so frustrated with the cost of my wedding band but there is really nothing we can do. The price of gold and platinum is at an all time high right now. We either pay the cost or don't get wedding bands, its something we have to do! Also, the way I look at it, this is probably the longest term investment in wedding planning. You'll have that wedding band for life and after that, it'll be passed down to your children, etc, etc. So a lot of money now will be invaluable in the long run.
Thats why I felt bad because my ring isnt just a simple gold, platinum band. I felt like I was being a brat because of the band I got but after reading all the comments I feel a little better.
MikeandJess
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Posted by Soon2beMrsC
Posted by MikeandJess
yes, I was so frustrated with the cost of my wedding band but there is really nothing we can do. The price of gold and platinum is at an all time high right now. We either pay the cost or don't get wedding bands, its something we have to do! Also, the way I look at it, this is probably the longest term investment in wedding planning. You'll have that wedding band for life and after that, it'll be passed down to your children, etc, etc. So a lot of money now will be invaluable in the long run.
Thats why I felt bad because my ring isnt just a simple gold, platinum band. I felt like I was being a brat because of the band I got but after reading all the comments I feel a little better.
Mine either and I had to get platinum because I'm allergic to gold, which automatically bumped the price up considerably. At this point, the platinum is more expensive than the diamonds so it was cheaper for me to get more diamonds than platinum in my wedding band, go figure!
