does anyone have the 'Candy Bar' speech for a bridal shower?

Dearest friends and family _________ has always been a bit
of a LIFESAVER. She is MOUNDS of fun to be around
beacause she is such a funny GOOBER with a CAREFREE
spirt. I PROMISE this bouquet will bring a SNICKER to
her as I read my poem. I am not playing TWIX on ______,
when I say that she has truly found her SUGAR DADDY,
and it’s even a bonus that she finds him to be one HOT
TAMALE. _______ is _______’s BIT-O-HONEY who can always
count on her in a CRUNCH, and I know he truly does
TREASURE her because he always tells HERSHEYS
beautiful, and he loves her to PIECES, even though she
can make him NUTRAGEOUS at times, she’s still his
SUGAR BABY.

_______,
On your wedding day before the BIG RED kiss, do not go
BONKERS, and GOO GOO, because I’m there for you when
you’re in SHOCK and start to see DOTS. You have very
good REISEN for loving ______ to PIECES. I know your
wedding day will be a musical SYMPHONY, and your
GOOD&PLENTY life together will be like your bank
account going from ZERO to 100 GRAND on PAYDAY. Just
remember that once you have your RING-pop you vow to
be together for NOW & LATER even through all the ROCKY
ROADs.
Please do not move away too far away, like to New YORK,
on the corner of CLARK and 5th AVENUE, we would all
miss you too much! Oh yeah, and on your hunnymoon we
expect an ECLIPSE to happen, in other words through a
perfect STARBURST; MIDNIGHT of ALMOND JOY on the beach
after a FUN-DIP in the ocean, BUTTERFINGER up have
WHOPPERS of fun and SKOR, watch out for sand TURTLES!
When you return we hope to see you a little bit CHUNKY
& nine months later ready to give birth to a RUNT,
O-HENRY, or BABY RUTH, then you will all be known as the 3
MUSKETEERS.

HUGS & KISSES,
__________

I like that! Thank you!
My MOH shower to plan