FH is currently having some sort of medical issue that I don't want to get in to - nothing life threatening but still kind of serious.
He refused to let me come with him to the doctor, then he didn't answer my calls. I had to call his mother ( he still lives at home) to find out what happened and she filled me in.
He is currently on pain meds - so I am not sure if I should even go over there. . . he seems like he doesn't want me around. I am not sure if he doesn't want to bother me or if he just wants to be alone.
It is so frustrating! I just want to help him! What is he going to do when we are married!!
tara08
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
Im so sorry that you are having this problem. Just know that sickness affects everybody in different ways... maybe hes just not ready to talk about it. Have you tried to tell him how it means a lot to you to know whats going on???? Guys can be so weird sometimes. I hope everything works out and he starts feeling better quickly.
Jumbles
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
My Fh defiantly shuts me out he is like a baby when he is sick.. just hang in there he will come around
Rissespieces
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
Well i'm going through some medical issues too. I feel for your FH. Especially when you just find out that you have a medical problem you almost feel like your life is changing soooo much. Give him sometime to come to terms with things. He will definitely seek your support.
Rissespieces
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He also may not want to worry you. I wouldn't worry
ant n tilde
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thanks girls
i am trying to be understanding of his actions. . . but it is so hard!
Soon2BMrsD
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
im sorry to hear that i hope hes ok... FH wouldnt dare do that cuz id cause him more pain by annoying the poop out of him to find out... i have the total oposite im usually the one with the medial condition and he figures if its soemthing serious ill just tell him so he doesnt act interested and that makes me mad!... i would just talk to him when hes not in pain and can listen and say.. your going to be MY HUSBAND and these are things that we NEED each other for and i need to know whats going on.
kab523
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
I can understand this. My FH's Father just passed away 1 month ago today and he really doesn't talk to me about it. When he tries he says I won't understand b/c I have never had anyone close to me die before. Needless to say it has been very hard for him and all of us. I know that it is definitely effecting our relationship. I want to help but I don't know how so I get frustrated and so does he. It is a sticky situation when you want to help and you really don't know what they need or want for that matter.
ant n tilde
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
Posted by kab523
I can understand this. My FH's Father just passed away 1 month ago today and he really doesn't talk to me about it. When he tries he says I won't understand b/c I have never had anyone close to me die before. Needless to say it has been very hard for him and all of us. I know that it is definitely effecting our relationship. I want to help but I don't know how so I get frustrated and so does he. It is a sticky situation when you want to help and you really don't know what they need or want for that matter.
FH reacted that way when his Grandfather passed. . . same situation actually, at that point I had not lost anyone close to me so he really shut down.
One night he got really drunk and talked about it and i thought from then on it would be better but that was the last he ever spoke of it
i know its hard
Kimbalina
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
Posted by Jumbles
My Fh defiantly shuts me out he is like a baby when he is sick.. just hang in there he will come around
Yup mine too, right now is a perfect example. He is cranky and has a headache although thats not what he says.
ant n tilde
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
Posted by Soon2BMrsD
im sorry to hear that i hope hes ok... FH wouldnt dare do that cuz id cause him more pain by annoying the poop out of him to find out..
yeah thats the problem - i cant even do that bc he is home . . . I am going to stop by there later but he is not answering his phone! (probably sleeping)
i still cant decide if i should stop by for a little while or if i should just leave him be until tomorrow.
kab523
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by Soon2BMrsD
im sorry to hear that i hope hes ok... FH wouldnt dare do that cuz id cause him more pain by annoying the poop out of him to find out..
yeah thats the problem - i cant even do that bc he is home . . . I am going to stop by there later but he is not answering his phone! (probably sleeping)
i still cant decide if i should stop by for a little while or if i should just leave him be until tomorrow.
I usually try an give them an hour and then try to reach out again. I know that there are times when I need my space and then there are times when I don't feel well or I'm in a bad mood and I just need someone to hold me.
By the way my FH is in a bad mood too today. We are supposed to have dinner together and he won't tell me what he wants. UUUGGGHHHHHH ...then he tells me to decide and then he doesn't like what I decide on....even more annoying!!!
jjk1007
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
He'll come around. It probably has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you. I would try not to take it personal and just let him know that it doesnt make you feel good when he does that to you.
jackie311
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my advice...just be there for him...don't push him to talk.. He will talk when he's ready. Good luck
eddies girl
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
hey how did it go??
megzzie
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I agree with the other girls - everyone deals with different things in different ways. I would explain to him that you are here for him and you want to help, you don't want to be pushed away.
I hope everything works out. Keep us updated.
jgl
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
First off let me just say that I hope your FH gets better soon!
it seems like it isnt just him having medical issues that is causing his shutting out behavior. Seems like FH is like this when things get tough. Though most men I think are that way, they think they can handle it all on their own or that they can't show their emotions.
I would talk to him about it. As a couple communication is the most imporatant aspects of a relationship. It's very hard to help fix things if someone is unwilling to talk about it. And when someone wont talk it puts a stress in the relationship because now you are both unhappy. at this point in our lives we should be talking about these things first with our significant other rather than parents or friends.
good luck!! Hope FH realizes that hell feel better if he talks about it with you!
karen6474
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
i'm soooo sorry that your FH is going through this. Dont think of him shutting you out, he just doesnt want you to worry & some guys when they are sick like to be alone. we will be here for you!!! FM me if u wanna talk!
ant n tilde
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
hey girls - wanted to say thanks for your support!
with your help i was able to leave him alone. . . for a little while - i ended up going over there and he wouldnt really talk to me but he let me watch him sleep which is a start
this is a continuing issue - so after he feels better i am definitely going to discuss this with him. . . how he has to let me in even when it is hard to!
Mizzdimple
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Re: Does FH shut you out?
Posted by ant n tilde
hey girls - wanted to say thanks for your support!
with your help i was able to leave him alone. . . for a little while - i ended up going over there and he wouldnt really talk to me but he let me watch him sleep which is a start
this is a continuing issue - so after he feels better i am definitely going to discuss this with him. . . how he has to let me in even when it is hard to!
I hope he is ok...you dont want to upset him while he is in 'Pain', but honestly...I think you need to know whats going on with him....
