does this sound greedy?

little j Posted: Aug 13, 2009 11:54 AM

does this sound greedy?

so a co-worker is going to a wedding this month and was askign my advise on what to get.

i said a check. he mentioned maybe a gift certificate. i said a check.

he asked how much. i said it should at least pay for your plate.

so we talked prices. and i said 150.

then we talked some more about registries and random gifts. then it came back to money

so he was like, it really is all about gettin money huh?

and i responded sheepishly, like yeah (kinda like o well)

but now im thinking...i know thats kinda the reality of it...and just how the whole wedding biz and industry makes it out to be....but since im getting married next year....does that make me look greedy??

like if i invite them i just want cash and nothing else?

(i havent decided if im inviting co-workers yet or not)

i just feel like sometimes teh whole wedding industry has me jaded and makes me long for a quick, simple wedding with friends. and not worrying about $$ or thinking about what a proper gift is....

stinenandy2010 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 11:56 AM

Re: does this sound greedy?

no i don't think its greedy....there are two sides to the wedding, on one side you are marrying the man of your dreams and want to have a grand party to share with everyone but on the other hand you need to start a life together and that requires money....plus we all need to pay off those credit cards and the money would help! its just the reality of it all.

little j Posted: Aug 13, 2009 11:58 AM

Re: does this sound greedy?

Posted by stinenandy2010

no i don't think its greedy....there are two sides to the wedding, on one side you are marrying the man of your dreams and want to have a grand party to share with everyone but on the other hand you need to start a life together and that requires money....plus we all need to pay off those credit cards and the money would help! its just the reality of it all.

i know...but the reality sometimes is so harsh looking. lololol

jcreilly Posted: Aug 13, 2009 12:00 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

No I dont

grkbarbie Posted: Aug 13, 2009 12:01 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

its not harsh at all. as a guest, u are getting a cocktail hour, FULL DINNER, OPEN BAR, DESSERT, ENTERTAINMENT..

plus the hosts paid for FAVORS, CENTERPIECES..

PLEASE... $$ is all any1 should be giving.

ur not selfish at all. i think ppl that skimp out on wedding gifts should be ashamed of themselves.

FallBride2010 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 12:01 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

Is this guy from NY? I think most New Yorkers know that money is the typical gift -- so it shouldnt come off as greedy. Registry gifts are for the shower! I know this isnt the case in many other places, so if he's not from NY, you probably just gave him some good advie ; )

MongieToBe Posted: Aug 13, 2009 12:06 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

Posted by grkbarbie

its not harsh at all. as a guest, u are getting a cocktail hour, FULL DINNER, OPEN BAR, DESSERT, ENTERTAINMENT..

plus the hosts paid for FAVORS, CENTERPIECES..

PLEASE... $$ is all any1 should be giving.

ur not selfish at all. i think ppl that skimp out on wedding gifts should be ashamed of themselves.

Couldn't of said it better myself!

jayepyt Posted: Aug 13, 2009 12:08 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

i mean i really dont care wat i get if i was inviting my guests and expected money from the ppl iam inviting ill be wishing on a star........ill be happy with any gift or nothing just as long as my money doesnt go to waste by them not comming.........but i dont think you are being greedy

MarjorieFrank Posted: Aug 13, 2009 12:08 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

Definitely not greedy. It's the reality of the situation. Plus, as a guest you are supposed to give $$$ to a guest to help them with their future.

KatieG2010 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 12:09 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

if it wasn't about the $$$$$ we'd have our receptions in the backyard...

Lu2700 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 12:12 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

Posted by grkbarbie

its not harsh at all. as a guest, u are getting a cocktail hour, FULL DINNER, OPEN BAR, DESSERT, ENTERTAINMENT..

plus the hosts paid for FAVORS, CENTERPIECES..

PLEASE... $$ is all any1 should be giving.

ur not selfish at all. i think ppl that skimp out on wedding gifts should be ashamed of themselves.

U TELL 'EM BARB!

but IMO traditionally speaking, yes. i was always taught that u give gifts @ bridal showers (thats why ppl register) and u give $$ for e-parties & weddings. i dont think it's being greedy telling ppl what is traditionally given at these types of events. i guess he'll just find out what it's like when it's his turn....

christine2010 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 12:17 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

FH & I don't really care what people give us. we understand that with the economy people may not be as generous as they used to be & we have accepted this fact.

we are inviting the people who mean the most to us. truthfully if someone does not give a gift & explains why they can't we will understand.

although we have given out some nice wedding gifts to friends in the past & FH already commented that they better give us a nice gift.

regy_k Posted: Aug 13, 2009 12:19 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

not greedy at all. Jews always give money, so I was shocked when moving here I found out that Americans give gifts.
as everyone else said, the couple is starting a life together, that requires money.
what did he think this wedding is being paid by? a blender???
ur not jaded at all

nikki471499 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 12:19 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

Posted by MongieToBe

Posted by grkbarbie

its not harsh at all. as a guest, u are getting a cocktail hour, FULL DINNER, OPEN BAR, DESSERT, ENTERTAINMENT..

plus the hosts paid for FAVORS, CENTERPIECES..

PLEASE... $$ is all any1 should be giving.

ur not selfish at all. i think ppl that skimp out on wedding gifts should be ashamed of themselves.

Couldn't of said it better myself!

I agree totally with you!!

Soon2bMrsH Posted: Aug 13, 2009 12:24 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

Posted by FallBride2010

Is this guy from NY? I think most New Yorkers know that money is the typical gift -- so it shouldnt come off as greedy. Registry gifts are for the shower! I know this isnt the case in many other places, so if he's not from NY, you probably just gave him some good advie ; )

i agree 100%. out of town- even upstate NY think you should give a gift (not money).

i went to a wedding in maryland and there was an actual gift table that was GINORMOUS and there were prob 20 or so cards in the card basket.

NewYorker09 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 01:41 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

Ehh, I don't think I'd call it 'greedy' . . . More like reality in the NY area. I think the best thing you can give a couple getting married in NY (and possibly a lot of other places) is money. If someone asked me what gift to give at a wedding I'd say 'Money and you should at least cover your plate'.

At the same time, I don't think it's classy or right to look down on someone for giving you an actual gift. Maybe they can't afford to give you $150 and would rather give a gift so it's not so obvious. Would you rather your guests not come than give a 'bad' gift? We're all choosing to spend X amount on our weddings . . . That's our choice and it's not up to your guests to pay for it. Maybe because I have a lot of out of state family is why I see it this way, but I do. So yes, I agree money is ideal but I don't think it's the end of the world if someone wants to give a gift (especially one off of your registry).

BriansWifey Posted: Aug 13, 2009 02:20 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

he asked your advice and you gave it to him, thats all. and who wouldnt like to get cash instead?? lol

Nina1010 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 09:28 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

I feel the same way...jaded... but we don't live in Kansas and things are different in NY. We put on a show. A friend of mine's BF is from Nebraska and was blown away by our mutual friend's wedding at Carltun on the Green... blown away. He couldn't believe it. Things are different everywhere else. Another co-worker went back to TX to have her wedding....had 400 guests and the total was $4,000.
Greedy? Not really...we're not making out much on weddings. And aren't weddings suppose to help the newlyweds 'start out'...with no debt... give them a head start.... LOL> not in NY.

StaceYums81 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 09:30 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

No way - everyone should get money. I'm surprised this guy didn't know that....

jme78 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 09:44 PM

Re: does this sound greedy?

I think the whole wedding gift expectation has gotten out of control.

I feel bad that some people may feel they can't come to my wedding because they can't afford the expected gift. If I was looking for money to start my life with my FH, I would just pocket what we are spending on the wedding and save it.

I think the expectation that everyone deserves money is kind of ridiculous.