Does this sound okay??

FH's cousin is getting married in November in NH. We got an invite for their engagement party for January 7th. Why they made it so close after the holidays, is beyond me, but someone else is throwing it, so I guess they weren't thinking.

Anyhow, there's no way we can make it. It makes no sense for me or us to drive for 5 hours to NH just for the party. If we did go to NH, we would have to stay overnight or for the weekend. An added expense we can't afford right now. So I RSVP'd via email and this is what I wrote. Does this sound okay? I don't want to make it sound like we don't want to come, but it's more of an issue of it would be a PITA to make it, and the timing of it bites.

Here's the email:

'We regret that we will not be able to make the engagement party. We are in the process of planning our own wedding for April, and getting over the holidays, so money is very tight for us. It's just not feasible to make the 5 hour drive there from NY without staying overnight, an extra expense we can't afford right now. My sincere apologies, however we will be sending an engagement gift soon.'

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Posted by BKtoLI

FH's cousin is getting married in November in NH. We got an invite for their engagement party for January 7th. Why they made it so close after the holidays, is beyond me, but someone else is throwing it, so I guess they weren't thinking.

Anyhow, there's no way we can make it. It makes no sense for me or us to drive for 5 hours to NH just for the party. If we did go to NH, we would have to stay overnight or for the weekend. An added expense we can't afford right now. So I RSVP'd via email and this is what I wrote. Does this sound okay? I don't want to make it sound like we don't want to come, but it's more of an issue of it would be a PITA to make it, and the timing of it bites.

Here's the email:

'We regret that we will not be able to make the engagement party. We are in the process of planning our own wedding for April, and getting over the holidays, so money is very tight for us. It's just not feasible to make the 5 hour drive there from NY without staying overnight, an extra expense we can't afford right now. My sincere apologies, however we will be sending an engagement gift soon.'

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I think it might be better to just say'we regret not being able to make the engagement party as we have a prior engagement. My sincere apologies...

Sorry, but IMO the email you have written up comes across a bit rude.

I think it might be better to just say'we regret not being able to make the engagement party as we have a prior engagement. My sincere apologies...




I like this better...

Darn, I sent it already.....guess I'm going to come off as a biatch, but who throws an engagement party the first week of January for a November wedding??

I'm pretty sure they weren't expecting us to make it, because of the distance. However, my usual tactful skills seem to be off today.

I sent another email apologizing for my rude decline. It's the best I can do at this point now.

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Posted by prinses777



I think it might be better to just say'we regret not being able to make the engagement party as we have a prior engagement. My sincere apologies...




I like this better...

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i agree

Thanks...the only reason I did not want to lie about having a prior engagement is that this is his first cousin and his family is close. If we didn't have something else that day, they would know or find out about it. Which in the end I think would be worse than telling the truth.

All of his family knows we're getting married soon. But whoever sent the invite does not know this. Also, if we were going to visit his parents for some reason, the trip up to make the party would not be a big deal. But to drive for 5 hours just for that makes no sense. Just like I wouldn't expect his family to make it to my shower for the same reason.

Thanks for making me feel better!!

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Posted by BKtoLI

Thanks...the only reason I did not want to lie about having a prior engagement is that this is his first cousin and his family is close. If we didn't have something else that day, they would know or find out about it. Which in the end I think would be worse than telling the truth.

All of his family knows we're getting married soon. But whoever sent the invite does not know this. Also, if we were going to visit his parents for some reason, the trip up to make the party would not be a big deal. But to drive for 5 hours just for that makes no sense. Just like I wouldn't expect his family to make it to my shower for the same reason.

Thanks for making me feel better!!

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feel better. I'm sure its not going to be taken that way. They will most likely understand your reasons, and even sympathise.

I think it might be better to just say'we regret not being able to make the engagement party as we have a prior engagement. My sincere apologies...

I agree, I know you sent it but maybe send it back with just a simple regret or apology. I don't think it was rude, but very honest, but we all have finacial troubles. I know I can relate but leave it out of the explaination...sorry just IMAO

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Posted by prinses777



I think it might be better to just say'we regret not being able to make the engagement party as we have a prior engagement. My sincere apologies...




I like this better...

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I agree - if they call you and ask for a specific reason, then give it - I think I would be like *** if I got a response like that!