Does this sound rude???

I just signed onto work and read my e-mails and got a sorta rude one. Long story short.. a co-worker left to work w/ her husband, but is now back PT bit so we are e-mailing back and forth 'how r u' and all, and I write..

**Oh good- so you didn’t fully leave us.
I’m good- wedding planning galore.
How about you? Are the kids enjoying the summer? Talk to you later**

So she writes back (the rude part in bold)

**I remember those wedding plan days. It seemed so important at the time. Enjoy it.
My kid’s are good. We are at the beach down at the NJ shore. My sister is in town. The kid’s are having a blast. Glad you are well. **

w-t-f??? Yeah- obviously the 'wedding planning' isnt as important as the marriage, kids and house, but you don't say it like THAT to someone!! It's like 'yeah, it seemed so important at the time, but it really was not important at all'

Yeah b/c hanging out on the shore is sooooo freakin important!!!

I used to like her.....

---

Posted by Chrissywish

I don't know how old she is or anything, but I don't take it rudely. To me it appears that she is just someone who is at a different place in her life. I just think about all the brides who JUSt got married coming on telling us that every little detail we are stressing about is not as important as we think. I just think it should be taken as coming from someone that doesn't have wedding brain and thus looks at wedding planning differently. I'm sure she was in our shoes at one point in tme.

---

Yeah I agree...I didnt take it to be offensive...its kinda like...yeah when I was younger and carefree...now I have kids and cant do all that fun stuff anymore...

my sister says the same thing but I dont mind it- Shes kinda right in a way..

but she totally didnt have to say that.

---

Posted by Chrissywish

I don't know how old she is or anything, but I don't take it rudely. To me it appears that she is just someone who is at a different place in her life. I just think about all the brides who JUSt got married coming on telling us that every little detail we are stressing about is not as important as we think. I just think it should be taken as coming from someone that doesn't have wedding brain and thus looks at wedding planning differently. I'm sure she was in our shoes at one point in tme.

---

Of course, I completely know that the color of our BM really don't matter in the scheme of things, at all. And stressing over little things is unessesary as married friends tell me.

It's the way she said it. It sounds like she is putting me down a little - like 'yeah- your wedding plans are not really important'. If 10 yrs from now someone told me they were planning, I would say 'Oh, I remember those days, It was so exciting', not 'it seemed important then, but really wasn't as important as I thought'....lol

Maybe b/c she has been a little snooty in the past, not to me, but others so now I see where they are coming from.

We both work outside the office so I don't ever see her. She has officially been demoted to the 'C' list- haha

---

Posted by Chrissywish

I don't know how old she is or anything, but I don't take it rudely. To me it appears that she is just someone who is at a different place in her life. I just think about all the brides who JUSt got married coming on telling us that every little detail we are stressing about is not as important as we think. I just think it should be taken as coming from someone that doesn't have wedding brain and thus looks at wedding planning differently. I'm sure she was in our shoes at one point in tme.

---

I agree. I think that alot of people feel like that. not that it was a big mistake to have all the planning and a big wedding and all. Just that you stress over so many little things and in the end everything works out. I am sure she didn't mean for it to be rude.

I agree

She may not have met it rudely, she is just in a different place.


I ask a lot of friends what they would change about their wedding a few years after they have had it and most of them are happy with the way it went and some of them say they wouldnt have had it so big.

Dont let it discourage you.

---

Posted by Chrissywish

I don't know how old she is or anything, but I don't take it rudely. To me it appears that she is just someone who is at a different place in her life. I just think about all the brides who JUSt got married coming on telling us that every little detail we are stressing about is not as important as we think. I just think it should be taken as coming from someone that doesn't have wedding brain and thus looks at wedding planning differently. I'm sure she was in our shoes at one point in tme.

---

~true~

I totally see where she is coming from with the planning not being a big deal in the scheme of things and marriage, family, etc..

I'd have to be a moron or a crazy, self centered bridezilla chick to not realize that the wedding part is just the very beginning and not THE marriage and THE rest of my life. I'm not that neieve- haha

It was just the way she said it that I see as rude.

Believe me, Im not losing sleep over it.

I'm thinking that perhaps she was just reflecting back to her planning days... That when she was planning, it was the only thing that mattered...

I don't think she was trying to be rude or offend you. But you know her and her personality, is she likely to be rude to others and say things to put them down?

ok totally EW. i'm sorry, but even if she is now at a place in her life where stressing about wedding planning seems silly, it WASN'T silly to HER at the time and she should realize that you are going through it now.

of course, you can say 'well she wasn't thinking about how it would sound' but that's just an excuse.

i know when i'm talking to someone i don't downplay something they are going through and are excited about in their lives even if i don't think it's very important. it's important to THEM and i realize that, so i am excited for them.

i know this might not seem like it's a huge deal to other people, but i'm just so sick of people not thinking about things they say and how they affect the person you are SAYING THEM TO. it happens so often, and it really gets me b/c i am the type person who really tries to think about what i am saying and who i'm saying it to. seriously, some people just don't seem to have a sensor! sorry, i'm getting carried away, this is just a HUGE pet peeve of mine!!

ANYWAY...it's not the meanest thing ever, but i agree that it was rude and i would be a little insulted by it. but at the same time, don't let it affect your relationship w her. i think it's best to just be a little annoyed and then completely forget about it...it's not worth stressing about the little things.