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Does your FH...

chakrasdeosil Posted:

Does your FH...

Have any kids from a previous relationship?

Mine does, and let's just say that the child's mother is a perfect example of a nightmare. My FH has not gone for court ordered visitation, but he does pay $270 a week in child support. This year, he has been able to see his daughter 5 times at most. He has no idea where the mom lives, the child is always dropped off at my house, She's making constant threats, there's always new reasons about why she refuses that my FH spends time with his daughter. Needless to say that I have even had to file a report with the police for this woman.

I'm at my wits end on what to do, FH suggested a meeting to her with him, myself, her and her BF to come to an agreement because of the child. The child is most important here and being taken from her father has to be hurting her. She said its never happening.
Now she's teaching her daughter to say that I'm mis treating her and that I said that I was going to hit her mother, throw her against a wall and chop her up! Her mom called last night because we had her over night on Saturday and about 1 1/2 hours after his daughter leaving we get that story. She even made the chopping motion with her hands! I love FH's daughter and she seems to like me when she's here, we play we talk and I treat her as I would my own child though I don't have any. She's 3 years old and her mother is teaching her to say all these horrible things.

It just hurts me because I feel like I'm being punished for i don't know what, its overwhelming and I just hope this doesnt make FH and I fall apart.
FutureMrsGTL Posted:

Re: Does your FH...

Let me start by saying I am so sorry you have to deal with this... while FH doesn't have any kids, I have a nephew who happens to have a crap mother, so I understand where you are coming from.

I find it so sad and disgusting when women try to make their child hate the other persons significant other. Especially, if you love her! The thing parents tend to forget is kids grow up.. she wont be little forever, she will grow up and be able to form her own decisions about you. The important thing is and I know this is certainly easier said than done, but try to take it with a grain of salt - realize it's not you, its the idiot mother.

I would also sit down with your FH and talk to him about getting Court ordered visitation. I know thats probably a super sensitive subject but maybe if he knows you really want him to do this and support him he will have more confidence.
KDNY133 Posted:

Re: Does your FH...

Thats awful. My FH has 2 kids from a previous marriage but they are grown..17 & 22 yrs old. His ex-wife had remarried and had more children long before i came into the picture so my transition was easy. Good luck. I know that has to be tough.

chakrasdeosil Posted:

Re: Does your FH...


Posted by FutureMrsGTL

Let me start by saying I am so sorry you have to deal with this... while FH doesn't have any kids, I have a nephew who happens to have a crap mother, so I understand where you are coming from.

I find it so sad and disgusting when women try to make their child hate the other persons significant other. Especially, if you love her! The thing parents tend to forget is kids grow up.. she wont be little forever, she will grow up and be able to form her own decisions about you. The important thing is and I know this is certainly easier said than done, but try to take it with a grain of salt - realize it's not you, its the idiot mother.

I would also sit down with your FH and talk to him about getting Court ordered visitation. I know thats probably a super sensitive subject but maybe if he knows you really want him to do this and support him he will have more confidence.




I'm scared that her mom would fill her head with a load of crap and just be scared of me or feel resentment b/c her dad isnt with her mom. I hate being in the middle, the visitation order will be coming soon but FH had been hounded with work that he hasnt been able to do it.

ETA: I just saw ur getting married on my birthday! Enjoy it :)
pixietina Posted:

Re: Does your FH...

I went through that growing up and had to go to court for visitation rights. They don't really enforce it well because my mom was able to keep my dad away and he just go so frustrated by it. What's scary is that if she is making her kid say those things then she would prep her for court so that FH won't get visitation rights. I think he should do everything he can to be with her because I am proof that it really does eff you up and scar you for life.

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