Doh I missed.......
The joke of the day yesterday so here's two heheheh
A couple had been married 10 years. One afternoon, they were working in the garden together. As the wife was bending over pulling weeds, the husband said, ''Hey honey, you're getting fat. Your butt is huge. I'll bet it's as wide as the gas grill.''
Feeling the need to prove his point, he got out a yard stick and measured the grill, then his wife's butt. ''Yep,'' he said,'' just what I thought, just about the same size.''
The wife became incensed and left him gardening alone. She went inside the house and didn't speak to him for the rest of the day.
When they retired to bed that evening, the husband cuddled up to his wife and said, ''How about it, honey? How about a little lovemaking?''
The wife turned her back to him, giving him the cold shoulder. ''What's the matter?'' he asked.
She replied, ''You don't think I'm going to fire up this big *** grill for one little weenie, do you?''
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Things to do in Wal-Mart
* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
* Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
* Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
* Try on bras over top of your clothes.
* Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
* Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, ''I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,'' and see what happens.
* Play with the automatic doors.
* Put pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
* Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
* As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, ''Wow. Magic!''
* Put M&M's on layaway.
* Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
* Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
* When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, ''Why won't you people just leave me alone?'
* Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
* Take bets on the battle described above.
* Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. Barbie. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect...)
* While no one's watching, quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
* Fill an entire cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
* ''Re-alphabetize'' the CDs in Electronics.
* Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
* Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
A couple had been married 10 years. One afternoon, they were working in the garden together. As the wife was bending over pulling weeds, the husband said, ''Hey honey, you're getting fat. Your butt is huge. I'll bet it's as wide as the gas grill.''
Feeling the need to prove his point, he got out a yard stick and measured the grill, then his wife's butt. ''Yep,'' he said,'' just what I thought, just about the same size.''
The wife became incensed and left him gardening alone. She went inside the house and didn't speak to him for the rest of the day.
When they retired to bed that evening, the husband cuddled up to his wife and said, ''How about it, honey? How about a little lovemaking?''
The wife turned her back to him, giving him the cold shoulder. ''What's the matter?'' he asked.
She replied, ''You don't think I'm going to fire up this big *** grill for one little weenie, do you?''
Things to do in Wal-Mart
* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
* Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
* Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
* Try on bras over top of your clothes.
* Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
* Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, ''I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,'' and see what happens.
* Play with the automatic doors.
* Put pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
* Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
* As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, ''Wow. Magic!''
* Put M&M's on layaway.
* Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
* Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
* When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, ''Why won't you people just leave me alone?'
* Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
* Take bets on the battle described above.
* Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. Barbie. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect...)
* While no one's watching, quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
* Fill an entire cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
* ''Re-alphabetize'' the CDs in Electronics.
* Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
* Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
