E- Party Drama....

Ok so I need to vent...normally I dont do this but here goes...

So FH and I are so excited about our engagement party. We got engaged in April and there wasnt much talk of us having a party so we finally asked my mom and she said that she was going to plan one. We waited patiently and finally she explained to me (about 3 weeks ago) why there was such a delay. My dad (a stubborn, traditional, italian man) wants to have the party at a restaurant but money is really tight. When my mom said that she wanted to have it at their condo that they moved into recently, my dad flipped out and said no way. They argued about it a couple of times and he finally said 'do what you want.' His concern was that we couldnt fit 60 people in their condo. I think he is embarassed that they dotn live in a large house anymore...his pride is getting in the way. Anyways, my mom did what she wanted and planned the party without telling him. She sent out invitations and figured she would just tell him this is what was happening. Well, I didnt realize all this had gone on, thought he had come to terms with it so I mentioned it at my moms birthday dinner nonetheless and he was like 'WHAT?!' They havent spoken in 2 days, sleeping in separate beds...all that good stuff...
He told her he prays that it raisn so that she makes a fool of herself. I feel terrible. I dont even want to have it at this point ya know? They somehow took something that is supposed to be happy occassion and made it full of drama. What do you think we should do? help!

Wowwww It actually sounds like something my rents would do But theres nothing you can do about it now right? Invitations have been sent out... When is the party suppossed to be? Aug right? Hopefully, things will cool down by then and your dad wont care so much...

Sorry that this happy occasion is surrounded by all the drama. Its really a shame that your happiness is being dragged into this when the fight really has nothing to do with you!!! What I usually do when my parents fight is be the mediator and tell them both to grow the fcuk up and get over it... They should be used to the fights after 30 yrs

If you really want to put an end to it.... Tell them both that you dont want the party anymore b/c of what it is doing... They will both not want to see you unhappy like that and they will hopefully settle the fight at that point

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

Wowwww It actually sounds like something my rents would do But theres nothing you can do about it now right? Invitations have been sent out... When is the party suppossed to be? Aug right? Hopefully, things will cool down by then and your dad wont care so much...

Sorry that this happy occasion is surrounded by all the drama. Its really a shame that your happiness is being dragged into this when the fight really has nothing to do with you!!! What I usually do when my parents fight is be the mediator and tell them both to grow the fcuk up and get over it... They should be used to the fights after 30 yrs

If you really want to put an end to it.... Tell them both that you dont want the party anymore b/c of what it is doing... They will both not want to see you unhappy like that and they will hopefully settle the fight at that point

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she has a point... i know that if i told my parents that i didnt want it anymore because of what it was doing to them, theyd both swallow their pride and make things happen the right way.

it stinks that such an amazing day is turning into a bad one, but maybe by august it will all calm down. lets hope!

i have the same problem with my FFIL, he want everything to be prefect. and as you might now that Itals are stubborn.... Well if you father wants to have it at a resturtant and he is payig for it then go ahead and do so. but if the invites are already out then you can have the food brought in. either way it is going to be a great party and dont let it get you down. Like they say things work out for a reason but in a good way... Cheer up hun. i hope everything goes well...

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

Wowwww It actually sounds like something my rents would do But theres nothing you can do about it now right? Invitations have been sent out... When is the party suppossed to be? Aug right? Hopefully, things will cool down by then and your dad wont care so much...

Sorry that this happy occasion is surrounded by all the drama. Its really a shame that your happiness is being dragged into this when the fight really has nothing to do with you!!! What I usually do when my parents fight is be the mediator and tell them both to grow the fcuk up and get over it... They should be used to the fights after 30 yrs

If you really want to put an end to it.... Tell them both that you dont want the party anymore b/c of what it is doing... They will both not want to see you unhappy like that and they will hopefully settle the fight at that point

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I could not have said it better...so I will just quote her so you can read it again!!!!

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Posted by lmt245

I just wish that they would realize how silly they are being...my mom is also blaming this argument on me because I mentioned it! I cant believe it..it is makeing me feel so terrible...I wish my dads italian (sorry for any itals out there...I am one!) traditional attitude would stop getting in the way. Who cares if the house isnt huge! People dont care about htat stuff!

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Hahaha Thats why I was always so grateful that my parents arent 'off the boat' so to say... I had a best friend whose parents were and they were strict and stubborn as hell!!!!!

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

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Posted by lmt245

I just wish that they would realize how silly they are being...my mom is also blaming this argument on me because I mentioned it! I cant believe it..it is makeing me feel so terrible...I wish my dads italian (sorry for any itals out there...I am one!) traditional attitude would stop getting in the way. Who cares if the house isnt huge! People dont care about htat stuff!

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Hahaha Thats why I was always so grateful that my parents arent 'off the boat' so to say... I had a best friend whose parents were and they were strict and stubborn as hell!!!!!

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You are talking to a daughter of an 'off the boat' father and my mother is a first generation here... so she was semi 'off the boat'

I feel your pain... having 'off the boat' parents is tough... strict and stubborn is an understatement!!!!

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Posted by lmt245

Thanks guys...you are absolutely right...I tried to tell them to just cancel it but my dad said 'You cant do that now! Everything is done' and my mom said 'I wouldnt cancel this now if someone was holding a gun to my head...I will show him!' This is the c-r-a-p I deal wiht! I feel like they are two little kids!

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Listen..... Just focus on YOURSELF! I do this all the time I worry about everyone else's happiness and mine gets shoved to the side.... You know what your father will come around when he sees how beautiful it's going to be & how happy YOU & your FH are! He will come around....Im sure of it... As far as your parents fueding... do not let it get you down! they will snap out of it.... bottom line... I understand why you are upset and I think the situation *****.... but like I said before... you have to put yourself and your happiness first and let them deal with there own drama!