E-Party - to have one or not?

LMFitz Posted: Jan 20, 2005 01:56 PM

E-Party - to have one or not?

So we had planned on having an e-party - but somehow time got away from us and next month will be the one-year anniversary of getting engaged. I'm afraid that if I have an e-party now, it will just look like we're in search of gifts. For the most part, our closest friends have already either given us gifts, or taken us out to celebrate - so is it just unwarrented at this time? I think it is - 'our opportunity has passed' - but I wanted to see what you gals have to say...

TIA

ETA - we entertain all the time - and I know we'll have our annual summer BBQ - which I might theme as an e-party - but not let anyone know, so they DON'T bring gifts...

Thumballina Posted: Jan 20, 2005 02:05 PM

Re: E-Party - to have one or not?

I'm kinda of mixed on this...I didn't want one...and this is jmo but I feel that you inconveince people to give you a gift. I feel that if they are invited - guests feel obligated to give you something...if they want to give you something they will regardless if you have a e-party.

When I say inconveince I mean because then theres the shower and the wedding itself...I feel like you're constantly asking for something...

My family threw us a small surprise e-party at my aunts house where it was just family. It was simple and casual and we enjoyed it...if it was up to me I would have skipped it completely

You said that your families and close friends have already given you gifts. If you want to have a party for the sake of celebrating with all your family and friends together...go for it...but I would let them know - no gifts if they have already given you something. Some people might feel like they need to get you something else bc of the party.

leese Posted: Jan 20, 2005 02:30 PM

Re: E-Party - to have one or not?

This is just my opinion but after a year, I think it seems a bit late just because all your close friends have given you gifts and went out to celebrate.

For us, I always knew I wanted one. All the people we have invited we know would have given us gifts and we could have saved 1,000 bucks. But I would have regretted it.

We never got to go out with our friends to celebrate. My g-friends from college took just me out, the night before he proposed, frank's friends took him out....but together, nothing (it's 2 months today). With Christmas, New Years, etc... we didn't/haven't done anything.

Tho some guests that are coming HAVE given us gifts, its not about that and I think it'll just be a nice fun time. I am looking forward to it. But if we got married in Nov. 05 like we were going to, I wouldn't had done it.

We knew we wanted casual and I originally wanted a luncheon but we are having it at his firehouse.... here is what I am doing with it...

http://www.nycityweddings.com/chat/topic.aspx?ID=193230

Vicky1706 Posted: Jan 20, 2005 02:39 PM

Re: E-Party - to have one or not?

Honestly, we had one because we needed the gifts

We had no financial way to even start planning a wedding without having one.

If you don't necessarily have to have it and you feel that it is one more thing to do than skip it.

Good luck!

sarahthegreat Posted: Jan 20, 2005 02:42 PM

Re: E-Party - to have one or not?

the families threw one for us. it definelty helped us, financially.

but its totally up to you. there is no need for one.

VogueBride Posted: Jan 20, 2005 02:49 PM

Re: E-Party - to have one or not?

We were mixed about have an e-party...but we decided we really wanted to get my fam and his fam together...so we just did a fam e-party (actually its next sat). Maybe you could think about doing something like that (even including friends). We just liked the idea of having people meet before the actual wedding. I think it is kinda far away from your actual engagment (but time can FLY!) It should be ok though if you make it clear why you want to have the party

LMFitz Posted: Jan 20, 2005 02:51 PM

Re: E-Party - to have one or not?

Posted by VogueBride

We were mixed about have an e-party...but we decided we really wanted to get my fam and his fam together...so we just did a fam e-party (actually its next sat). Maybe you could think about doing something like that (even including friends). We just liked the idea of having people meet before the actual wedding. I think it is kinda far away from your actual engagment (but time can FLY!) It should be ok though if you make it clear why you want to have the party

I just really want to celebrate our life together - and I can't seem to wait for next May!! Our families have already met - plus his lives in Florida - and as much as I need the gifts, I don't want to pressure my friends and fam (I've been in that position with other friends, e-party, shower, wedding - it's just a lot to handle).

Thanks for all your responses!

VogueBride Posted: Jan 20, 2005 02:53 PM

Re: E-Party - to have one or not?

Posted by LMFitz

Posted by VogueBride

We were mixed about have an e-party...but we decided we really wanted to get my fam and his fam together...so we just did a fam e-party (actually its next sat). Maybe you could think about doing something like that (even including friends). We just liked the idea of having people meet before the actual wedding. I think it is kinda far away from your actual engagment (but time can FLY!) It should be ok though if you make it clear why you want to have the party

I just really want to celebrate our life together - and I can't seem to wait for next May!! Our families have already met - plus his lives in Florida - and as much as I need the gifts, I don't want to pressure my friends and fam (I've been in that position with other friends, e-party, shower, wedding - it's just a lot to handle).

Thanks for all your responses!

So in that case, maybe its better to pass on it Focus on the wedding plans (the e-party is a pain in the butt too - at-least in my opinion!!!)

cantwait2bewed Posted: Jan 20, 2005 03:34 PM

Re: E-Party - to have one or not?

I dont think you should pass on it. My wedding is May 2006. My e-party will be April 24th one year from when I got engaged. I made it for this date b/c i thought it would be nice to have it on the day we got engaged. Its not to late to have it. Only invite your close family they will give u gifts if they want to and they are your close family so they wouldnt mind giving gifts.

hmpena Posted: Jan 20, 2005 03:43 PM

Re: E-Party - to have one or not?

I think that you should have it if you want it. If it's not about the gifts, then you can state that you don't want presents. My FI and I are planning on having a very informal engagement bbq (we love to bbq!) and are planning on telling people not to bring gifts, especially since lots of people have given gifts. Those who want to bring a gift will!

Good luck and remember to do what makes you happy.

leese Posted: Jan 20, 2005 03:50 PM

Re: E-Party - to have one or not?

We realize too, that if you are paying for it yourselves (like we are)...we are actually losing out on money since we are spending so much on it.

For us, because his mom had so many people send us gifts, if we DIDn't have it, we would have 'made money'.... but again, we just want people to get together.

Plus, we are two states apart and this will be the only chance that they can get to meet each other if they haven't already.

What surprised me was that some people that i never expected to come are coming! very surprising!

PrincessConsuela Posted: Jan 20, 2005 03:51 PM

Re: E-Party - to have one or not?

i had one about three weeks after we got engaged really casual thank goodness. im glad we did it that way. some people brought gifts and some did not. i did not care we wanted everyone to meet. actually we catered it and my mom got a tent for the backyard and thats about it.
it was great and it helped with the deposit for the hall.
i guess it is a personal preference. if we got engaged in the winter i would have just gotten the immediate family to go out to dinner together.

LuckyMe Posted: Jan 20, 2005 04:44 PM

Re: E-Party - to have one or not?

If an party is really what you want, and it seems that it is then I think you should have your bar-b-que but let everyone know it's to celebrate your engagement and getting married. Let someone close to you spread the word that no gifts are required it's just a get together.

c731angel Posted: Jan 20, 2005 07:35 PM

Re: E-Party - to have one or not?

I like the idea of entertain people rather then having an engagment party. My feelings are that it is triple dipping. So, I like the idea of having a relaxing barbaque with friends to celebrate a holiday then having them bring gifts. Hey November 4, 2006 will be the day we can celebrate the wedding.