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i remember your original post and still feel that while its a great gesture to offer to buy the wedding bands... thats not something that someone else should be buying for you like they were buying you a shirt for your birthday... i totally agree that if you have a platinum ering you should have a platinum wband...

do you have a picture of the ring and a picture of your ering... i personally think you should speak up about this...

idk but something about the way they went about this is really bothering me...

I would have FH tell his mom he wanted to be there when your ring was bought. That this wasn't HIS ideal and they should go together to exchange it.

picking out & purchasing of wedding bands is something that should be between you & FH. you need to explain to FH that you really wanted to go with him to pick out & purchase the wedding bands together.

wow, i would probably feel the same way- i totally agree that you should be happy with the ring you have to wear it and look at it forever- its a very personal thing IMO.

I would tell FH how sad you are, start off by saying how much you appreciate his and their effort and are very grateful..
I would have FH break the news to his mother...and hope that exchanging the rings goes well...if she doesn't want you to go, then maybe you can print out some photos of styles you like for them to bring...

I just dont understand why people would be so pushy to force their opinions on someone else's rings!!! I'd honestly rather pay for my own ring than have my MIL pick it out

dont cry!!!

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Posted by christine2010

picking out & purchasing of wedding bands is something that should be between you & FH. you need to explain to FH that you really wanted to go with him to pick out & purchase the wedding bands together.

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i totally agree!

Wow!!! I would def say something. Can you have your FH say something so you don’t have to??
You have to love your wedding band. It’s going to be on your finger forever. I’m so mad for you right now!

that's not fair! not everything about getting married is about money. you should get the wedding ring you want even if someone wants to buy you one.

i dno't know how to resolve this though. is it possible that you wear the ring for a year and then when the drama has died down you can upgrade to something you want???

I would just tell them all how you feel. Because, as you said, this is the ring that will be on your finger for the rest of your life. Tell them that you appreciate the thought and it really is a lovely ring, but its just not YOU. Tell them you would be more then happy to go with them to the jeweler and show them your style.. pick out a few rings and let them pick it out OR if you see one that just SCREAMS out to you just hold it and cry, tell them 'this is the one' I'm sure if they have a heart or any kind of emotion they will understand.

So sorry you are going through this...

I'm sorry to hear this.... ugh what a nightmare.

I'd say tell FH to talk to his fam and say how much it would mean to you to pick your own rings.

FH should not be disappointed about your feelings about the ring. He should be supportive. Let him know that you understand that it's a grand gesture and that's why you're so upset! You're torn! You want to be grateful, but your feelings and opinion weren't taken into consideration. You and FH should go and exchange the ring.

Good Luck and keep us posted!!!

i totally agree with all the other girls here ... it's ridiculous for your FH's family to do these things ... rings are something very personal and they can't pick them out for you.

have FH tell his mom that you and him will go exchange the ring wtihout her. then go (don't tell her when you'll be going) and get something you love

best of luck!

I would be honest about your feelings. The rings are for you two - not the family. If you're honest with FH and he's mad, you need to explain that you're going to be his wife and while his family's feelings are still important, so are yours and he'll need to find a way to balance that out going forward.

And btw...I completely agree w you.

I agree with everything everyone has said so far. First off, I'd be pissed as f*kc at FH for buying it without me, ESP if he knows that your a jewelry person. I even picked out my ering. BUT if you seriously think that this could start WWIII I MIGHT not say anything.
BUT... on the flip side, even though it's spending extra $, I'd go out and buy a wedding band that YOU love. I'd wear YOUR wedding band to work and anywhere you won't see your FIL's and his side of the fam who cares. Then i'd wear THEIR ring when you see them. A year or two down the road it would 'accidentally' get lost.

FMIL needs to back off a little bit. How is someone going to buy you something that you are going to wear the rest of your life?! You need a platinum ring. Any other one won't look right next to it. Picking out rings is for you and your FH to do together. I'm sorry you are going through this!

I hope I don´t word this wrong but I feel that if someone offers to pay for something for your wedding it doesn´t necesarily mean they can just choose what they want. Its totally understandable if they have a price limit or something like that. But then it should be left as I will give you xxx towards your rings. If you don´t like anything in that price range then you should have the right to get something you like better and pay the difference if any.

I completely agree with you that the wedding band has to be something that you like. You have to stare at that for the rest of your life. And in the wording of the ceremony I just read it said something beautiful about when times are tough you should look to your ring to think about the feeling you had on your wedding day and the great gift you have in each other and that you will always be there for one another etc. and that when times are bad you should also be able to look to your ring and think how great it is you have someone to share it with (something along these lines). You definitely don´t want negative feelings to come up everytime you see the ring.

I think that you need to talk to FH and explain to him how important choosing a ring you like is. Explain that while the ring may be nice, it simply is not for you. I think just you and him should go look at the rings with no outside influence. If his mom gets offended or something explain to her that you appreciate the gesture of wanting to buy the rings but that the ring FH chose (since he says it was him go with it even if it wasn´t. This way it may be easier b.c fmil won´t think your atacking her) just isn´t right for you personally. But if FH has the receipt I would say to go exchange it with him before even telling anyone about it. It may sound drastic but if you tell them then maybe they´ll all want to go. You two should just go alone. That´s my opinion anyway.

I hope it all works out for you.