edited - I upset FBIL & FSIL and they 'told' on me to FMIL and FFIL

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Jul 16, 2005 12:48 AM

edited - I upset FBIL & FSIL and they 'told' on me to FMIL and FFIL

Last weekend, they were talking to us about the wedding and assumed that their very young children would be invited. I was uncomfortable with that assumption and just left it that FH and I would discuss it and let them know.

We'd decided that we would have no children (b/c they are all under 2) but I just wanted to clarify with him.

FBIL called him tonight and asked him if they'd put their foot in their mouths by assuming. FH said yes -

FBIL & FSIL are VERY nice people. I have to see them this weekend and I don't want this to affect our developing relationship (they may take this decision very personally though it's nothing against their kids). Should I bring it up? I'm not sorry about our decision, but I don't want to hurt them. What do I say?

ETA: They were upset enough to tell FILs and they told FH today that we're wrong for making this decision. It's OUR wedding. I can't take these people!

july06bride Posted: Jul 16, 2005 07:55 AM

Re: Repost from BHB - help - I think I upset FBIL & FSIL

Personally i wouldnt bring it up if they dont... i think since he mentioned 'did I put my foot in my mouth...' that he realizes that you MAY not have been planning on having children there and he probably respects that decision since he said that... i wouldnt sweat it...and if they do bring it up tell them what you told us...that it is NOTHING against the children ...That after the wedding you would LOVE to get together with the children
good luck!

kissy27 Posted: Jul 16, 2005 08:18 AM

Re: Repost from BHB - help - I think I upset FBIL & FSIL

I agree with July06bride...Don't bring the topic up! It will just cause friction...You FBIL must have realized that they thought wrong otherwise he would have never called to say that to you FH! They might understand it better then you think...They were once in that the same situation

Kris516 Posted: Jul 16, 2005 11:02 AM

Re: Repost from BHB - help - I think I upset FBIL & FSIL

The girls raise a good point.

I don't know if this helps any, but FH has 6 nieces and nephews under the age of 10, and none are invited to the wedding. We told my FBILs and FSILs that we want them to enjoy themselves at the wedding, and if they're running around after a 4 year old the whole night, it just won't be possible. Now, they're all psyched they get a night out w/o the kids! You may be doing them a favor, and not even know it!

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Jul 16, 2005 11:17 AM

Re: Repost from BHB - help - I think I upset FBIL & FSIL

Posted by Kris516

The girls raise a good point.

I don't know if this helps any, but FH has 6 nieces and nephews under the age of 10, and none are invited to the wedding. We told my FBILs and FSILs that we want them to enjoy themselves at the wedding, and if they're running around after a 4 year old the whole night, it just won't be possible. Now, they're all psyched they get a night out w/o the kids! You may be doing them a favor, and not even know it!

I hope so - they wanted to bring a babysitter to the wedding for them; that's what really upset me the most. They assumed and didn't even ask me if what I thought. I hope it goes well tomorrow.

Thanks, ladies.