anyone here ever want to elope? i am just sick of planning and i havent even gotten anything yet. i am looking, b/c i cant book anything until december when i get home. i found a dress that i want, and i am working on speaking to a priest here. we need to do the FOCCUS program which we found one here that is similar, BUUUUT we cant get into any before i leave to go home in December, b/c they are all full. which means i cannot set a date.
so b/c i was freaking out all of yesterday me and FH went out for some Thai. there are thai places all over in australia just like there are chinese places all over NY, and they are so gooood! so anyway we decided we are taking a trip to thailand and getting married there, just us two. i guess that is the plan for this week.
seriously anyone go thru these thoughts of just eloping? is this normal to have these thoughts? i can say that i really dont want a wedding, it was more my mom's idea, but now i really dont want it b/c i cant be arsed to do the planning....
i think the thing that set me off was my FMIL. she insists on registering for an engagement party for us that we dont even want.....
October Bliss
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Re: eloping?
I have mentioned eloping a dozen or more times. Usually it comes up when he says the vows and the ceremony are the most important thing and he doesn't care about anything else. That's when I fire back with, if nothing else matters, why are we going through this expense instead of just eloping. He of course always has an answer, and I go back to wedding planning.
I do think however, that since this will be my one and only wedding, I would regret it if I didn't go 'all out'. With 'all out' representing what we can afford to spend without going into debt to pay for it.
Laura&Phil
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Re: eloping?
Yeah, I wish FH & I would have done this-at least went to Vegas and whoever can join us is welcome! He's doing the NY wedding to make his mom and brother happy and after shelling out for a few vendors and 2 payments to the hall he's talking about elpoing again! We have about 4 months to go! Granted, we started planning in Sept but we'd have to prbably cover the costs from our money b/c his mom will only give us money if we go through with a NY wedding
I wanted to take a cruise to the Bahamas and Key West and have the ceremony in Key West. I had it all planned out too! I say this to vendors and others in the industry and they agree that they wish they had elpoed and used the money for a house! When people in the business say things like that you know you should consider it!
I only wanted to elope b/c of money issues- otherwise I like the idea of the fairly traditional wedding-but if you and FH don't want it-don't do it!! The happiest couples I know did their wedding their way-even if that ment only the parents and a justice! At the end of the day you only have to make yourself happy. Good luck!!
AlliNMatt06
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Re: eloping?
I don't think I would ever elope, but I would of went with out a big ceremony and reception.
My cousin got married in Hawaii at a Four seasons I think. She had about 25 to 30 family and friends there. She wore a beautiful dress and had her hair done. She got married on a cliff and had her parents walk her down the isle. Then they had a big dinner for everyone. Her pictures are so beautiful they look fake. I would of definitely considered doing something like this.
Planning is hard, and expensive. I just can't see my family not there when I get married. Also, I am kind of excited about wearing a pretty dress.
tiffandmatt
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Re: eloping?
I've honestly never thought of eloping. I don't think that it's a weird thought for you to have through, planning a wedding is hard. Just make sure that if you do, there could be ALOT of people who end up with hurt feelings. People take seeing a loved one get married VERY seriously, when they become excluded they probably will be upset to not be included. Hope everything works out.
PegaLega
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Re: eloping?
Thought about it...I never stop thinking about it! But-I want something nice and our families would KILL us!!! I want the white dress and the flowers...
FruNor
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Re: eloping?
We thought of that too. But we decided that it was important to us to share our day with our loved ones. We live in Europe, so I was overwhelmed at the thought of planning everything when I am back in LI at Xmas time. Trsut me, I understand what you're going through. So, FH and I decided to take a trip home in September, and we planned everything in 1 week. When you are under pressure to plan everything in such a short period of time, it actually forces you to make decisions quickly. Do whatever makes both of you happy.
L&M2006
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Re: eloping?
Defintly thought about eloping. In fact, in the beginning that's all I ever wanted. But lately I've been having a lot of fun w/ the planning and now I can't wait. I definetly done a 180 since I got engaged. However, it must be really hard to plan a wedding when you're not around. Why no do both? Elope and have a ceremony later
FallBride05
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Re: eloping?
I have definately thought of it!
DayBeforeThanksgiving
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Re: eloping?
The thought of eloping crossed my mind maybe once or twice, but I wuold NEVER do it. Trust me, I'm sure all of the planning will be worth it in the end...please don't take offense to this, but if you are this frustrated with your wedding not until next July, maybe you should elope, because it's only going to get worse. Hang in there, you will be happy you did in the end.
kam0813
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Re: eloping?
this topic made me burst into tears in front of my FH.. all this wedding planning has gotten me a little depressed because i know we can't afford any of it.. i wanted to go to vegas and just get married by elvis... but our grandparents would never allow it and i know his parents wouldn't be happy if we didn't have a traditional wedding..and FH wants a wedding too..and now they've really gotten me into the whole 'lets have a traditional wedding!'
klingklang77
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Re: eloping?
Oh good, so then i am not crazy. just checking. i do have to admit i am very overwhelmed. i am finishing my masters in two weeks, moving out of my house where i share with people and then 2 weeks later going back to NY for a few months. i told myself i am not thinking about anything for a few weeks. i figure maybe my mind will change...
to kam0813: sorry i didnt mean to make you burst into tears
LovelyChas
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Re: eloping?
Its on my maybe list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't afford having a wedding and there is so much I can do with that money...I want to have a baby and I need a bedroom for him/her.
kam0813
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Re: eloping?
Posted by klingklang77
Oh good, so then i am not crazy. just checking. i do have to admit i am very overwhelmed. i am finishing my masters in two weeks, moving out of my house where i share with people and then 2 weeks later going back to NY for a few months. i told myself i am not thinking about anything for a few weeks. i figure maybe my mind will change...
to kam0813: sorry i didnt mean to make you burst into tears
awww don't apologize! its not your fault..I'm in a PMSing mood and everything is starting to make me really sad and weepy..and i've just been really thinking about the expense that is our marriage and then i read this and its just everything i've been considering lately and knowing there are other girls out there thinking about it made me emotional...i'm such a girl..
Laura&Phil
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Re: eloping?
My feeling, if your family loves you they'll get over it b/c in the end you choose what was right for you. Your family doesn't pay your bills or live your life. We were going to invite everyone (for the most part) and it'd be up to them to join us or not. I got to a point where so many people were going to go it wasn't worth traveling. The couple I know doing their wedding for their family are miserable and killing themselves trying to pay for black tie b/c it's 'expected'. Her Fh works 7 days a week! Its crazy. If you think that you'd regret not having a traditional wedding then do it.
I wouldn't have regretted it b/c I know I made the best decision for myself at the time. I didn't go to my prom and never regretted it b/c I knew that I wouldn't have had fun. I know myself and you should listen to your gut too. I understand the desire to have a nice party with loved ones and that's why I am having fun with this but I would have loved Key West.
Good luck!
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: eloping?
Yes I have thought of eloping a bunch of times. When the planning gets overwhelming, or especially when I have arguments with my mom over wedding stuff. I think.. it would be sooo much easier... but in the end, I am glad we are doing it this way.
thefirstlady
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Re: eloping?
the thought has crossed my mind a 1000 times, and all i see is Elvis marrying us in The Chapel of Love! but, since everyone would freak out if we did that, and i want the white dress and all, i'm just putting up w/ the planning. you're idea sounds so exciting and romantic, why not just do that, take lots of pics, and throw a kick-arse reception when you get home? don't let FMIL get in the way of what you really want. and your thoughts are completely normal! the big day is a show for everyone, if not for your own reasons, and family can get caught up in that, and force opinions on you, but that doesn't mean you have to listen to them. and don't have the e-party if you don't want to! good luck in thailand and w/ whatever you decide to do!
Sweets14
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Re: eloping?
We were in Vegas in Aug. We saw Barry Manilow, had a few drinks and decided to get married there. We got a limo to take us to get a marriage license. We went to city hall, paid for the license then we were off to a chapel and i chickened out. It would really hurt my family not to be there. I'm glad i didn't do it. But hey i still have a license good for a year if i change my mind. We're planning a honeymoon for Hawaii but want to stop in vegas for a few days on the way and get married by Elvis! It'll be real fun!!!!! Sorry mom if you read this!!!!! I never told anyone!!!!
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: eloping?
we thought about it briefly when we first got engaged. But we never actually considered it. we want our friends and loves ones around us when we exchange vows.
