engagement parties -- mom's not for it

sorry but i need to vent!

my FH's family wants to throw us an engagement party but out of courtesy, asked my parents first if they were planning to give us one. mom said no, but that she wanted to have FH's family over so everyone could meet each other instead of an e-party. ok fine ... fast forward 2 months. the family 'get together' hasn't happened yet (apparently schedules are an issue or else mom's just dropping the ball ... she's not much of a party planner, but that's another issue).

now while FH's family is beginning to plan the e-party (i think), i find out from my mom that she and my dad are against e-parties, especially now that we're living together already! she said that it's just another way of asking for gifts when we already have all we need. i explained to her that we're not after gifts (i could care less about them) ... but that it's just a way for my friends and family to get acquainted with FH's friends and family before the wedding. plus, just b/c we're living together doesn't mean that we have everything that we need. i don't even have enough place settings to have either FH's family or mine over for dinner!

not sure why this is bothering me so much ... guess i just thought my family would be more excited.

We were in the same situation. My family is 100% irish....we LIVE for reasons to party....FH's extended family LOVES parties, but his parents are very (for lack of a better term) 'anti-social'. They prefer to do holidays with just the 4 of them and keep all GTGs simple.
They did not like it at first but basically didn't have a choice (it wasn't even me pushing for an eparty...FH really wanted one)... In the end...they had a great time, and everyone got a long really well!!

if your mom/parents think you're doing it only for the money, you could put something like

'your Presence is Present enough'

on the invite indicating that you're not looking for gifts.... most people would probably still bring a little something, and maybe that would forse your parents to compromise or something... The last thing you want to do is piss them off....especially if they may potentially be helping you with the wedding...