engagement party and shower???

What is the etiquette on this???

We were thinking of having an engagement part in like March and then of course Ill have a shower closer to my wedding..

Is this ok to have both? Do people give gifts for an engagement party?

I dont want to seem like I am having an extra party just to get gifts.

Please tell me your experainces and what you did?

i had my engagement party in feb
i recvd mostly money and like 3 gifts
my aunt & uncle gave me a gift only because when they found out i got engaged they sent me money so i was not expecting more from them but it was nice that they came with something..

an aunt and cousin on his side gave us a photo album that was very pretty they had it made & his aunt gave us waterford toasting flutes.

you might get a mix of gifts and money

i am going to have a shower also that i will register for so i will get the things off my registry

No e-party. 'It's just not done in our family. You'll have a shower and a wedding and that's it.' (spoken with my mom's best tone)

I would have liked one, but the family resistance was too much. Then, I remembered that my cousin had one about 8 years ago and my entire family was annoyed and felt it was tacky and that the couple was having it for the sole purpose of getting more gifts.

Even without an e-party, people sent us tons of cards and a bunch of cash gifts.

We are having an engagement 'gathering'. FI doesn't want to call it a party, because it is only BP and immediate family.
It would be a huge party otherwise, and we aren't into that.
I guess it all depends on when your wedding is and how much time there is in between both parties and the shower. If they are less than 1 year apart, I would think about having a scaled down engagement party.

We were engaged July this year and will be having our E-party in April (05-so late due to family) and our wedding is in June (06), so it's spaced out enough.

FH's cousin had an engagement party in Nov (02), shower was in Sept (03) and wedding was in Nov (03). It was not too close at all. It all seemed to flow nicely, not too close, not too far.

In general the E-party is 1 year (or more) before wedding and the shower is 1-2 months before the wedding. Again, thats in general, not always the case.

FH's SIL's shower (which I had a hand in planning) was 2 1/2 weeks before the wedding. And they never had an E-party due to a 9 month engagement.

yea I want to have more of a family celebration i think.. just where everyone is all together and celbrating our engagment

I also wanted to ask the BP at the party

Our wedding is AUgust 7, 2005... we were engaged in March 2004 and had our engagement party in August 2004- a year b-4 the wedding.

Will have a shower of course but I have no clue when it is planned for.

we are having both and if FMIL has her way, I'll have 2 showers (aagghh).

I see it as a way for both families and sets of friends to come together - and esp. since we are in two different states, honor that my FH is from a different state and see the town that i'll eventually move to...

I don't think its bad as long as its lowkey (ours is in a firehouse) and isn't a second wedding... actually, if i had my way, it probably would have!!!

do whats important to you and the people who matter will be there no matter what. i am excited to surroound people around us to celebrate and just get together. it'll be just fun, no pressure!

We got engaged in March of 2003 after only knowing each other 5 months, then bought a house together 2 months later! We knew it was going to be a long engagement as we wanted to be more than boyfriend/girlfriend, but to us the investment of a home was more important than a party on a single day.

Basically, now that wedding planning will go into full force this fall, an e-party would be tacky since some people actually gave us gifts already for our engagement. However, we know we could use some cash for the wedding, and there are others who have said that they did not know how to acknowledge our engagement (basically, fh was in the process of a long winded divorce too) so now that all is settled and we of course want to share the news of our wedding date (once we finalize that by booking a hall) I have decided (and am currently persuading FH) to do a Wedding Date Announcement/meet our Bridal Party - Party! Kind of to formally celebrate the engagment and to announce to family and close friends our wedding plans. I'm planning on throwing this as a casual party at my parent's house with things like their pool, volleyball net, 6 foot hero's, BBQ, etc. Just a fun party. My dad had always talked about throwing me an engagement party at a hall - but considering his idea of 'helping with the wedding costs' are really out of the dark ages, I'd rather him put any additional funds back into the wedding. Just an idea, especially for those who have had long engagements or who are planning 2006/2007 weddings which are still a ways off.

We got engaged in December had our engagement party in April and my mother is planning my shower right now!!!! (Yea)

I think it's fine to have both if it's the norm within your family- our families would think it was odd if we didn't have both.

We received mostly cash for our EP and some gifts (word to the wise- REGISTER!!!!!!)

We got engaged 2/6/04...e-party was in april with about 80 people...we registered and got almost our entire registry and some cash. shower will be in may (between my graduation and beginning of bar exam prep), for which I am going to re-register for bedding/ towels...and then the wedding is 9/4/05, and we're not registering b/c we don't need any other 'things', we need a house to put our things in