english teachers/majors/geniuses - please help!!!

help me make this sentence work with proper grammar - punctuation, etc.

'while all companies basically draw from the same labor pool and buy gidgets from the same manufacturers what sets us apart is our technologically advanced state-of-the-art operating system and seasoned management team featuring over 50 years of combined experience.'

what punctuation goes in there? how do I make it not a run-on sentence?

pleeeeeease help me!

thanks!

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

help me make this sentence work with proper grammar - punctuation, etc.

'while all companies basically draw from the same labor pool and buy gidgets from the same manufacturers what sets us apart is our technologically advanced state-of-the-art operating system and seasoned management team featuring over 50 years of combined experience.'

what punctuation goes in there? how do I make it not a run-on sentence?

pleeeeeease help me!

thanks!

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while all companies basically draw from the same labor pool and buy gidgets from the same manufacturers, what sets us apart is our technologically advanced state-of-the-art operating system and seasoned management team featuring over 50 years of combined experience.

i think all you need is that comma in the middle, otherwise it sounds fine to me!! is that a mission statement?

While all companies basically draw from the same labor pool and buy gidgets from the same manufacturers, what sets US apart is our technologically advanced state-of-the-art operating system and seasoned management team, featuring over 50 years of combined experience.

?????? maybe? maybe not.

I'm none of the above listed. Just short of genius & trying to see if I could figure it out

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

is a semi colon instead of a comma completely wrong?????

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yes, semi colon is incorrect

'While all companies draw from similar labor pools and buy gidgets from the same manufacturers, we are set apart by our state-of-the-art operating system and seasoned management team with over 50 years of combined experience.'


hardly an english major.... actually a neurobio prof......so take it with a grain of salt... however, I must publish on a regular basis, so I write manuscripts frequently.

'wat sets us apart is our' is a bit awkward, replace with 'we are set apart by our'

'state-of-the-art' and 'technologically-advanced' are redundant concepts

'basically draw from the same' sounds a bit awkward..... replace with 'draw from similar'

hope this helps....

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

is a semi colon instead of a comma completely wrong?????

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While all companies basically draw from the same labor pool and buy gidgets from the same manufacturers, what sets us apart is our technologically advanced state-of-the-art operating system and seasoned management team featuring over 50 years of combined experience.

This is correct. Yes, a semi colon would be incorrect. A semi colon separates to independent clauses. The sentence above contains one dependent clause (While all companies basically draw from the same labor pool and buy gidgets from the same manufacturers) and one independent clause (what sets us apart is our technologically advanced state-of-the-art operating system and seasoned management team featuring over 50 years of combined experience.) Because of this, you need a comma and not a semi colon.