UGH!!! I seriously can't take this anymore. Now I have ANOTHER bridesmaid telling me she's probably going to leave early because of her baby. He's eight months old and apparently she and her husband have 'only gone out together at night twice since he was born.' Both times they were home by 9PM, and 'neither went well.'
So, NOW (19 DAYS BEFORE MY WEDDING) she's telling me either she and her husband will leave early or her husband won't even come. (He and FH have gotten to be pretty good friends, otherwise I probably wouldn't even care.)
She wants to call me to talk about this and I'm so angry I can barely see straight. I'm thinking I'll just text her and say I can't speak about it and she and her husband have to make a decision for themselves.
What would you ladies do in my shoes?
(BTW, to piece all my rants from the last six months together, this makes THREE bridesmaids who have given me MAJOR drama about their children not attending the wedding. The oldest of all these children just turned 4...)
xoxlilqtexox1
Posted:
Member since
Enough Drama!!!
Personally I think it's a little ridiculous of them. You are not the first person to have an event without children and I know many people with children who make arrangements for things like weddings but I also wouldn't stress yourself over it either. They need to make a decision and let you know for your headcount- end of story. You only have a short time left and it's not worth it. It sucks and it's definitely infuriating but it's their loss.
cconaty94
Posted:
Member since
Enough Drama!!!
I am dealing with this on a lesser scale. My FH has a large number of cousins, who are all married with children. One of them approached me and said 'If there's no children invited, it will be difficult'. She alone has 4 kids! Im not paying $45for each plate of chicken fingers a child requires. Not to mention, we just went to an affair where the game of duck-duck-goose had a guest nearly fall and spill his drinks all over the kids. No way am I having children at the wedding.
My theory is that I am not allowed to be angry if they cant make it, but they arent allowed to think I am cruel for not allowing children. And in your scenario, I think it is bs that they are just now remembering that they have kids and that might get in the way. You have a right to be angry but it sounds like your girls are preventing you from really enjoying your time. Hopefully on the day, they will feel terrible for all leaving early and leaving you standing with no bridal party that they will reconsider.
jassy119
Posted:
Member since
Enough Drama!!!
I'd be really pissed of also! It's not like you told them this a week ago. I am sure you communicated this with them long before so for it to be an issue now is ridiculous! At this point, I'd prob tell them why even go to the reception in the 1st place! Why pay all that $$ for their plate if they don't plan to stay very long?? So wrong of them to do this to you so close to your wedding. I hope it gets resolved.
vanillataco
Posted:
Member since
Re: Enough Drama!!!
Posted by cconaty94
I am dealing with this on a lesser scale. My FH has a large number of cousins, who are all married with children. One of them approached me and said 'If there's no children invited, it will be difficult'. She alone has 4 kids! Im not paying $45for each plate of chicken fingers a child requires. Not to mention, we just went to an affair where the game of duck-duck-goose had a guest nearly fall and spill his drinks all over the kids. No way am I having children at the wedding.
My theory is that I am not allowed to be angry if they cant make it, but they arent allowed to think I am cruel for not allowing children. And in your scenario, I think it is bs that they are just now remembering that they have kids and that might get in the way. You have a right to be angry but it sounds like your girls are preventing you from really enjoying your time. Hopefully on the day, they will feel terrible for all leaving early and leaving you standing with no bridal party that they will reconsider.
I totally agree!!!
McC2McM
Posted:
Member since
Enough Drama!!!
Its unfortunate that they decide to tell you this NOW. I've been on both sides of that dilemma. Since I've been there, i get it. If she and hubby stay, she'll just be stressed with leaving the baby. Let the husband stay home with the baby, with no hard feelings. It just seems like the best compromise.
Lguido
Posted:
Member since
Enough Drama!!!
I would be upset to. Try not to let it bother you & just think of what a beautiful day you and fh are going to have. Let her make a decision on what she's going to do about this with her husband! Really? I can't believe people! They have family members that I'm sure will watch the baby for them. If she leaves early then let her. She will have to live with her decisions and actions. Don't say a thing to her. I'm sure she had plenty of time to make arrangements for a babysitter. My fh and I also have 10 nieces and nephews & tns of family & friends with kids & I'm adamant that we are not having any kids. I wonder and worry if I'm going to have the same problem that your having. Sorry if anyone disagrees with me but a wedding is an adult affair. The only kids were having is my son who is the ring boy & my niece who is the flower girl & their leaving with a sitter when the reception starts. Good luck & don't stress over it. It's your special day!
Roxannebowen79
Posted:
Member since
Re: Enough Drama!!!
Posted by xoxlilqtexox1
Personally I think it's a little ridiculous of them. You are not the first person to have an event without children and I know many people with children who make arrangements for things like weddings but I also wouldn't stress yourself over it either. They need to make a decision and let you know for your headcount- end of story. You only have a short time left and it's not worth it. It sucks and it's definitely infuriating but it's their loss.
This!!!
Sugaplum111905
Posted:
Member since
Re: Enough Drama!!!
Posted by McC2McM
Its unfortunate that they decide to tell you this NOW. I've been on both sides of that dilemma. Since I've been there, i get it. If she and hubby stay, she'll just be stressed with leaving the baby. Let the husband stay home with the baby, with no hard feelings. It just seems like the best compromise.
I agree with this.
simba301
Posted:
Member since
Re: Enough Drama!!!
Posted by xoxlilqtexox1
Personally I think it's a little ridiculous of them. You are not the first person to have an event without children and I know many people with children who make arrangements for things like weddings but I also wouldn't stress yourself over it either. They need to make a decision and let you know for your headcount - end of story. You only have a short time left and it's not worth it. It sucks and it's definitely infuriating but it's their loss.
This! I don't understand why she needs to talk about it with you. She and her husband need to come up with a decision and let you know. Talking to you might be a way to ease her guilt and somehow get your permission so she doesn't feel as bad. I think you're right to text her and say you don't want to talk about it. Sorry you are going through all this drama with your BM's!
MsErikaLynn
Posted:
Member since
Enough Drama!!!
::crashing:L I would definitely suggest the husband stay home since he says he won't be making it anyway. what would the point be of her leaving early if he is home? I would also just remind her of the commitment she made to you however long ago and see how it goes. maybe even explain that it's exspensive and you'd be hurt that she isn't going to stay for the whole thing when you're paying for the whole night. personally IDK why she would WANT to leave at 9 after spending all this time and effort on being a BM. just a thought!!
