Does anyone know what to do when you have advance notice that people will not be able to attend your wedding (we sent out Save the Dates, which flushed out some advance 'no's)? Do you send them an invitation anyway? On the one hand, if I knew I couldn't attend a function, told the host so, and got an invitation anyway, I would think that was odd, and would be concerned that they had forgotten that I could not attend -- but I also know that folks are advised to invite folks who live far away as a gesture. The difference, I think, is that with the latter, you don't have a definite 'can't attend' -- anyway, I'm thinking this one to death. Advice please???
FrescaBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
I think it's actually very considerate of the person who voiced early that they will be unable to attend and that way you can use that invitation for someone else. Usually people plan things in advance and they might know they won't be available for your date. You can perhaps invite someone from your B list or someone you probably wanted to invite but were not sure due to the amount of guests you were inviting. I'd definitely not send them an invitation if they already voiced with the STD that were unavalaible. JMO
ChristineC68
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
I would send them an invite anyway. By sending the STD you are in fact alerting them to the fact that you would like for them to attend your wedding. IMO not following up with an invite is like un-inviting them.
Even if they said no with the STD, things may have changed that would permit them to attend the wedding.
bridzilla
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
I have a few people who have already said no, but I'm still sending an invitation. Most people don't think it's weird. It just shows that you are considerate still wish they could attend.
Kriss2c
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
I don't know what the 'proper' thing to do would be.
My MOH's parents have another wedding to attend that day and had told me that more than likely they would not be able to attend mine....but I am sending an invitation anyway.
tourist
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
Posted by ChristineC68
Even if they said no with the STD, things may have changed that would permit them to attend the wedding.
That would be my logic, & i would send it anyway.
september2004
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
Posted by bridzilla
I have a few people who have already said no, but I'm still sending an invitation. Most people don't think it's weird. It just shows that you are considerate still wish they could attend.
same here...
butterfly91804
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
I agree with the others -- some people might take it the wrong way if they don't get one at all
bentwich
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
Thanks all -- I was definitely leaning toward sending anyway, but then it occurred to me that the person who said they couldn't attend might feel like I didn't really *hear* them when they said they could not attend, and perceive the invite as some kind of pressure. I know that there are people I am inviting at my parents' request who will not be attending, but the invite, in that case, is serving as a kind of 'announcement.' Anyway, just another tricky dilemma to waste time worrying over. I am getting SOOO tired of all this -- am ready to skip the whole thing and head out for the honeymoon!!
