I have this friend... who got engaged about 8 months ago and they had their e-party etc.
Now the engagement is off - very unforuntaely
He wanted to know what is the proper thing to do with the money he received from people as a gift at the e-party.
He is really stressing over paying everybody back etc as he feels it is the proper thing to do. But obviously he had put a lot of money into the wedding already and the majority of it he won't get back.
He has asked his guests and some say it's proper to give it back but they don't mind if he doesn't others say they don't expect it back at all.
I told him I'd ask you girls since you're all so knowledgable
TIA
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
WOW this is a hard one. I am sure that there will be some guests who will expect something back. Others wont care and will be fine with not getting anything back.
I know id feel so bad about what happened, i wouldn't think about the money i gave them. Maybe down the road it would cross my mind. If i was given back the gift then fine but if not i dont think i'd be upset about it.
I tried to look it up but only thing that came up was about giving the ring back. Hopefully someone else knows what etiquette says to do in this situation
sorry about your friend
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
i just asked DH and he said he wouldnt want his money back.
tinadansr
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
personally I wouldn't take my money back....but it was nice of him to ask around and see what the people said
jeanettelovesjason
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
yeah i wouldnt take it back either, it is nice that there thinking of everyone else but I think most people will understand that its a very unfortunate situation for them
Christaly
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
Yeah I really don't think I'd want my money back either - (I didn't attend the party) I'd think of it like a wedding - you wouldn't expect your gift back if it didn't work out.... I don't really know though - it is tough I can really see both sides.
Babydoll21
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
thats so unfortunate! I would not want my $ back either.
beram63
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
i don't know about giving the money back, but i'd prob stay away from having an e-party next time with the exception of close family and bridal party. that's when i think people would grumble.
FutureMrsG
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
I believe the proper thing to do is return all of the gifts.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
Posted by Christaly
Yeah I really don't think I'd want my money back either - (I didn't attend the party) I'd think of it like a wedding - you wouldn't expect your gift back if it didn't work out.... I don't really know though - it is tough I can really see both sides.
exactly, i mean you know already they are losing so much money as it is with putting money towards the wedding and now losing it. WHen you think about it, its hard to take the money back
Sweeteey51
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
I wouldnt expect or ask for it back. They shouldnt give it back, people gave it expecting never to see it again anyway.
NikkiR515
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
I definitely wouldn't want the money back if I had given it but you never know, some people might expect to give it back... Hopefully people will be more concerned with how he is dealing with the fact that his engagement is over and less concerned with money!
BlondieBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
I called off a previous engagment and struggled with the same question. In the end, I offered the money back to everyone who gave and most people refused to take it b/c they felt so bad about the situation. A few people did accept it.
Masgirl09
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
Ok... I too had called off a previous engagement. I wrote everyone a little note basically saying that I was sorry to announce that the engagement was called off, and thanked everyone for their support, yada, yada, yada. In each note I mailed each person a check back for the money that they had given us. I never asked anyone. I just did not think it would be right to keep it.
Sweeteey51
Posted:
Member since
Re: Etiquette Question
Well the real question is how long has it been since they gave the gift and the engagement was called off? If its been a couple of months why bother giving it back? They know you may have spent it on wedding stuff. Now wedding gifts are a different story. I think i would feel so bad about the situation i wouldnt expect the money back.
